I believe I'm on the Crazy Train

Crazy Train Incident #1

Earlier last week I got a friend request on Facebook from a chick I had never heard about...come to find out she's one of my husband's ex girlfriends. As in they dated for a few weeks, he decided she was utterly psycho, dumped her, all well over 10 years ago. Anyways, he can't say he didn't warn me, because he did. repeatedly.

I responded to her friend request, with a message. I simply asked her if I knew her.

She responded that yes, I did know her, that I knew her from when I lived in Virginia.

I responded back to her and told her that I haven't lived in Virginia since I was maybe just 2 years old, when my daddy was stationed there in the Navy, not been back since. I also added in that I spent much of my childhood living in Arkansas & Oklahoma.

So her next response was "oh, that's right, I knew you in Oklahoma, we lived on the same street".

At this point my jaw is just DROPPING. When I lived in Oklahoma I lived on a "street" if you'd call it that, backwoods barely paved road more like it, where maybe 10 families lived & I knew every one of them....the only folks remotely close to my age lived right down the road & were named Tania & Andrew, they were brother & sister - neither one named Stacie.

So I respond back to her, I ask her what city it was we'd lived in together.

Her immediate response was Tulsa.

Now my eyebrows are REALLY raised, seeing as I only spent maybe 6 months, total, of my life actually living in Tulsa...and that was when I was in my early 20s.

This chick is absolutely blatantly LYING to me and thinking that I'm stupid enough to go along with it and actually want to accept her friend request, on my Facebook? WTH!

So I keep up my end of the charade. I respond back and ask her which street or what year even...make it simple.

Some time goes by and she finally responds back...tells me that she was really young back then so doesn't remember and is sorry to have bothered me.

By this time I've completely had it with the lies and bullshit. I'm nearly 30 years old, I'm not fucking stupid and this chick is at least 5 years older than me and it's just absolutely RIDICULOUS to lie, period.

So I sent her a message that read:

I never lived in Tulsa until I was in my early 20s, you're 5 years older than me, so if you were really young when you lived in Tulsa, on the same street as I then I don't know who you think you're trying to play games with.

Look, I know you're one of my husband's psycho-ex girlfriends, by his words. By your profile you live in Alabama. I also know that you were only in Virginia for 3 weeks, well over 10 years ago. So at this point I'm going to have to agree with my husband on his "you're a psycho" opinion, primarily because at 30+ years old your wall statuses read like a 12 year old's and you, for some childish psycho reason feel the need to lie to me.

So if you have a legitimate reason for trying to friend me or Brian then grow up and state it.

She's not responded back to me and I don't expect her to.

Crazy Train Incident #2

Mother-in-law calls.

This particular event sends me into a spiral of mixed irritation & annoyance...maybe I've blogged about that particular history...if I have I'll find the link & post it here tomorrow, after I search for it...but the short story is that we don't talk to her or brother-in-law & his wife because they're, for lack of a better phrase "Jerry Springer types".

Anyways...apparently mother-in-law had talked to brother-in-law a few days ago and BIL told her that Brian & I had divorced; I'd kicked Brian & the kids out of the house & they were living at father-in-law's house. This was based solely on the fact that Brian took the kids to see his dad for almost a week while I worked to paint the living room. He had the time off, we had the spare change, it's not a far drive, & FIL is wonderful to spend time with. We weren't fighting, it was just merely opportunity was afforded for things to work out that way, no big deal.

Apparently in BIL's & SIL's world if one spouse isn't up the other's ass 24/7 it means they've separated and are getting a divorce. I'm absolutely comfortable & secure enough in my relationship with my husband to let him out of my sight for hours, or even days at a time.

I think this makes at least the 4th time that Brian and I have gotten divorced in our 3 1/2 years of marriage. MAN! Our divorce lawyers are making a KILLING off of us, no wonder we're broke! ROFLMMFAO

Since MIL, BIL, etc are all on Brian's Facebook (I have them all blocked) I'm considering having Brian change his relationship status to 'complicated' just to fuck with their heads...I think it'll be a blast...just fuel their stupidity!

Whatcha think?

Tweet

Ex-husband vent.

I'm needing to send my ex a letter of my intent to move....one of those things in our divorce decree, so that I can give him "adequate" time to file for a change of visitations, etc....either 30 before I move or up to ten days immediately after my move, whichever is most doable.

As it stands he's allowed visits on the 2nd Saturday of the month, under the supervision of a court mediator, between the hours of 2pm and 4pm. He also is not able to change the visitations from that until after he has participated in a divorce counseling seminar (judge's decree, I had to attend that too). So I'm not worried about my ex who won't show for court on child support matters to attempt to take me to court to change the visitations. Furthermore, my ex has only seen Mikeal TWICE since I left him when Mikeal was 13 months old....he's now 7 1/2. He saw Mikeal for a few hours during Easter when Mikeal was about 18 months old - my ex's adopted dad took Mikeal and I up to Kansas City to visit him hoping that I'd reconsider getting the divorce. And then he didn't see Mikeal again until he was 3 years old, and hasn't since. During this time my ex has also only sent 3 letters, and has made a few phone calls to my mom's house, or rather, had his mother call. Now, my ex-MIL started calling in early October of this past year, would call and talk to Mikeal on a regular basis...then stopped calling altogether, about the time my ex was picked up again on the failure to pay support...haven't heard anything from them since outside of the courtroom while my ex was sporting the county jumpsuit and silver bracelets.

BUT as a responsible, law abiding mother I am still required to do my part to inform my ex of where I'm going to be taking Mikeal.

I have to provide address, phone number (don't have one yet), and the reason for our move.

I haven't actually written one of these letters because prior to this move I thought I just had to update with the child support officers and the court, plus my ex was in either jail or a halfway house, and I'd just call his grandma (who absolutely hates him and his mother's side of the family for all the lies and stealing they've done to her) let his grandma know that I was moving, she'd in-turn tell her son (ex's bio father) and he's in turn tell ex's mother, and she'd tell ex...I'd know he got the message because I'd get a letter from him telling me what kind of horrible person I was for keeping him away from his son...as if his being in jail 600 miles away, BEFORE I moved another 600 miles down the road, didn't have anything to do with that anyways... But I found out today from my lawyer I have to send the notice to him since the protective order is no longer in place...it expired on Mikaila's first birthday and there hasn't been enough probable cause for the courts to renew it.

I really wouldn't even bother with sending a letter except for the fact his grandmother is in her 90s and she's already had to deal with physical assaults from him, threats, and the like, so I don't want her to be put in such a position, at least not because of something I told her and she passed along. She's a great lady, now that she knows I wasn't making up all the stuff I'd told them about my ex and my reasons for leaving him...my ex in a drunken state one evening, while living with her, went on and on about a lot of the things he'd done to me....prior to that everyone thought I was the horrible lying cheating whore he'd made me out to be, because there's no way that ex would ever do such things, he's made good money, he's the first one of that family to actually graduate high school, he'd never been arrested, and blah blah blah....VERY high marks for that family, let me tell you.

So my problem now is how do I go about writing this letter and then sending it so as to keep my ass covered with it all. His family is the sort that will use any chance they think they have to make life miserable for me...such as trying to bring me back to court to get custody of Mikeal...granted they haven't tried that since spending almost $20K to several different lawyers when Mikeal was 2 and the multiple judges laughed them all out of court, but still it worries me.

In also don't have an address for my ex...I have one for his mother and I think his bio father, but not for him personally...he hasn't lived at his sex offender registered address for at least a year, and it took the courts over 8 months to actually find him to arrest him, only to release him again.

My lawyer's secretary just said that I needed to send it certified mail, in the care of his mother to him and leave it at that. Again, I haven't talked to his mother since he beginning of November and then she claimed to have nothing to do with her son because he's tried multiple times to kill himself, she caught him shooting up in her house, so kicked him out, the like...yea, whatever, he probably just wouldn't share with her so she kicked him out, but that's something for another day...

Ugh...I'm so sick of trying to do right in this whole deal. I just want to be able to be rid of my ex and be able to live my life with my wonderful husband and children without having my ex always in the shadows of everything I do!

Tweet

Child Support anyone?

I honestly don't see where the big deal lies in paying some child support. Okay, yes, I do agree there are some outlandish cases of where the payer is having to pay an outlandish amount, especially when the payee just sits around and lives off of the support paid and really does nothing in the way of providing support, themselves, thus decreasing the potential standard of living for the children they have custody of, such case is where I believe there should be a required minimum amount based upon cost of living, then anything the paying parent gives on top of that is bonus.

But that is not even the case where my ex-husband, the biological sperm donor of my son, is concerned. He is required to pay the state minimum, based upon minimum wage in 2006, which then was $5.15 an hour - so a requirement to pay $249 a month was made - honestly I think he was working at the time for some $8 an hour, but nonetheless, still QUITE reasonable, IMO. With minimum wage going up and up, this only means that his required payment amount will go up - higher cost of living = need for more money + higher wages so this should equal a greater ability to make this reasonable payment.

So back when first ordered, in March of 2006 my ex was to pay $249 a month. He screwed up again, thus causing himself to go back to jail from May of 2006 until November of 2008. He got himself a place to live and a job almost immediately upon getting out of jail that time. My child support case worker did an awesome job of tracking him down and his then employer. She sent out garnishment paperwork and his employer complied and started sending in his required payments. Payment received from garnishment in January...He quit his job mid-January because he claimed he couldn't pay his bills on what was left over - only 250 or so total was taken out of two of his checks.

He was ordered, in December 2008, to show up for court, every month, until he showed good faith that he was going to start making his payments each month. He did show for court in December and made a payment. Did not show for court in January, instead stated to my case worker, that he didn't think he needed to show because he was making payments... I didn't know that ONE payment counted as six months of good payment proof - but whatever. January he didn't send in payment, it was garnished. Then WAY at the very end of February he sent another payment - MAJOR shock for me. I mean come on! Three months in a row where payment was actually made, after almost three years of no payment - maybe he's grown up. You know, for being almost 40 now - I don't know, he's 36, something like that, born Nov 1973, anyways, ten years almost my senior - maybe he'd turned over a new leaf.

I'm still waiting on March's payment...it's only nearing August.

So a warrant was issued for his arrest, he was arrested in June.

He actually told the judge that he was working, and would start making payments, and was so sorry about not making payments...blah blah blah...she let him out on this "promise" with another promise to show up for court August 19th.

So I've been helping out my caseworker and I have been doing a bit of my own "investigating".

Found out that he didn't give the judge the full complete, correct address for his "employer"...and guess what, supposedly he's working for the same guy he was working for when we were married, so that means he's bringing home roughly $1500 a week..my reasoning is there should be no reason why he can't spare just $250 a month for the current support....then there is the issue of over $10,000 in back support, but I'm not counting that right now, even though the judge did ask him to pay at least $40 a month on the back support, when he was before her in December.

Well, two weeks ago I was in the child support office, and talked to my landlord about some things - she works there in the office. There was a note on the case that he called in and said that he'd sent in a payment on the 11th of July. I understand I'm not some NASA certified genius, but today is the 30th...which means that check has had 20 days to go from his post office, which is 15 miles from the child support office from him, to the child support office, then be processed and added to my account. I think a snail could of made it already...

School does start in less than two weeks and that money would REALLY do me a lot of good and go a long way, but alas, it is not there. Go figure.

So I did something I haven't done since around the time Mikaila was born - I called Mikeal's great-grandma, my ex-husband's grandmother. She did NOT have one nice thing to say about him. See back when he first went to jail for the molestation and I was struggling, severely, as a single mother, she was very defensive of him, that I was the horrible wife for talking so horribly about him, that her grandson, the only one of her youngest son's 15 known children to actually graduate high school, and hadn't been arrested for anything drug related..and of course she believed everything he told her about his charges, that he just was peeing and a little girl walked in on him...yea.... It wasn't until after he got out of jail, then conned over $5,000 from her, admitted to her that he did beat me, did try to kill me, made several attempts to make me miscarry, and so forth. She since apologized to me, commends me for doing the right thing, has apologized soundly for him, and thinks its best for me to just keep him dropped like a hot lump of lead.

According to her he is NOT working. He has shown up on her doorstep numerous times, in the middle of the night, completely messed up, asking her for some money so he could make it back to where ever he's staying at and such. Messed up on you may ask? She's not totally sure, but knows that it's one of those white powdery ones that is smoked through a pipe. Just lovely. I have no worries about Mikeal as his sperm donor has made no attempt at a visit with him since March of 2004 - after a judge laughed him and his mother out of the courtroom while they were trying to get custody of Mikeal, before any divorce proceedings had even started.

So in my endeavors to make a solid case before the judge to prove not only his ineptitude but also that he is a liar I am confident that I have succeeded and am hoping that she actually keeps him in jail this time.

The child support payment really isn't all that big of a deal to me...I just hate living in fear that I might turn around some day and there be my ex standing there, or Mikeal be at school and the office folks slip up and let Mikeal go home with him, or that even my ex would happen to find out where I am living and just pick Mikeal up out of the yard, and worse. The better place for my ex is underground, but if that's not capable of happening, I'll feel better with him behind bars.

Court is on the 19th of August, wish me luck.

Tweet

Just a bit giddy....

My XH is back in jail.

The foremost reason is for contempt of court orders to pay child support, at over $10,000 behind, was set up on a payment plan when he last got out of jail, in December, was supposed to go back to court here every month for at least 6 months until he showed promise that he was going to be making the payments on time each month. He made the December payment. January his paychecks were garnished for the amount owed that month, he quit his job at the end of January "because he couldn't live off the money he was left with after having his check garnished". He did not show up for court in January as ordered...nor since... At the end of February a payment was made...nothing since. In January, when it was found out he'd quit his job & missed that court date he told the child support case worker that he made the payment and therefore had no intention of going to court. And has since evaded her.

Of course he's also a registered sex offender (against a 5 year old girl) so it wasn't hard for them to find him to pick him up...but on the flip side of that my case worker found out where he's currently working...well, rather who he's working for. He's working in the same line of work that he was doing when he attempted to molest that little girl - door to door sales. ...A job he's not supposed to be holding. I have an appointment with the DA tomorrow anyways about the neighbor kid ongoing saga thing....I believe I'll be expanding on that appointment.

I'm chuckling. The man deserves to be buried under the jail, but I suppose, for the time being, the jail being in the basement of the courthouse, it'll do.

Tweet

Aww....I have no sympathy. honestly.

So back in March of 2005 my ex was ordered to start paying child support.

In May of 2005 he screwed up his probation & went back to jail.

In November of 2008 he got back out, when his sentence was up.

I received a CS payment in Jan & Feb of 2009, equal to the amounts due those months.

I talked to my CS caseworker last week and she believes that they're able to run a felony warrant out for him as the current amount owed is close to $10,000 and he hasn't made a payment or is even reported as working anywhere since Feb.

So I imagine that *if* an officer is able to track him down he'll be going back to jail no later than August of 2009. If an officer isn't able to track him down & serve him with the papers, because he's moved or anything along those lines he'll definitely be going back to jail for violating Megan's Law that states sex offenders are to have their residential locations updated & accurate.

I'm most positive that he's working, and likely working for the same guy he's always worked for in that area. Only thing about that is that guy might not realize that he's a sex offender...or maybe he does and doesn't care...but that'd mean my ex is working with children between the ages of 12-15, without other adult supervision. So another strike against him. That or he's working for his brother, painting houses. Or for any other number of people he knows out there. That I have no doubt about. They're all thieves who owe thousands in child support, or have cheated the system out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, and the like.

Now, I'm not terribly worried about the money. I have been doing this since September of 2003 without a dime of assistance from anyone and am getting along quite beautifully as it is. However that almost $300 a month can go a long way towards my renovation projects and extra activities.

This coming week I'll find out if they're able to run the felony warrant for him to be picked up. I do know that there is a warrant out for him already for failing to appear before the courts, a warrant for non-payment, his driver's license has been suspended, and all that goes into just missing payments and not appearing before the judge. Felony warrant implies that they're going to go pick him up.

I feel quite smug about all this. He brought all this upon himself and it's nice to see him start to "pay for it" so to speak.

Tweet