My mom called me a bit ago, which is a bit odd, generally at this time of day she's at work, but because of the yearly BS that goes on with her job its their slow period, actually has been all year, and only getting worse. They didn't even put in 20 hours this week. So that was her first complaint. They're not able to pay their bills. My stepdad has a job, but he works for a single guy doing landscaping work - turns out that guy has spent all the money he's supposed to be paying the employees on drinking on the jobs - buying beer for everyone, and a lot of it, as well as paying for a whore every couple of days. So he has nothing left over to pay my step-dad with, and he's screwed up quite a few jobs, so has to go back in and redo these jobs.
My brother, who's the father of my two nephews we had for a bit almost 2 years ago, finally got to talk to his oldest son.
Turns out their mother has custody of all 3 of them again (2 nephews & their little sister), she had her case transferred to another county because "there's a conflict of interest here" - many in this county are related to her and "keep causing problems for her" - from my experience this generally works in favor of honest parents who are actually taking care of their kids, but we've all grown VERY tired of trying to help her out and after so long had to bring in higher authority to get the kids help they really need. T is supposedly doing great in school and B has started school - but according to T they're living in another state, which is against the court orders, but their mom started screaming at him and took the phone away from him when my brother asked about where they were living. My brother is also supposed to have his boys every weekend as per a court order, but hasn't seen them since right before Mikaila was born, when Brian and I had them for a weekend and took them to visit him. Also somehow my brother was charged with having to pay their insurance - at about an extra $100 a week, on top of the child support he pays. Only thing about that is both the boys are Cherokee descendants so get free health care through the Cherokee Nation, and their mother wouldn't make enough money to not qualify for free health care through the state - if they were living in the state like they're supposed to. So now my brother is only bringing home about $100 a week of his $800 a week salary...but the company he works for is doing lay-off left and right so he's not even sure if he'll have a job when he goes into work. To top that off his stripper wife lost her job because she was fighting with another chick, now all she does is sit at home, watch TV, and eats all the food my brother buys. She's supposed to be doing some Anger Management courses in order to get custody of her own kids back, but isn't even doing that. She also takes whatever money she does make and spends it on clothes, she supposedly spent $150 on a skirt, that she hasn't even worn, as the tags are still on it. So my brother is considering leaving her and going to go live with a high school friend who'd set him up with his babies momma - her (now) ex husband is the babies' momma oldest brother, he left her because he caught her going at it with one of their female roommates. 
So my mom gets done telling me about all that, only to dive into telling me that my sister's husband is facing being laid off - or did get laid off - so they're having problems paying their bills and such too.
Seriously! I can only be sympathetic for so long.
My mom and step-dad are both persons in their 40s, in relatively good health, no children at home. Their rent alone is 1/2 what ours is, and their renting from one of my step-dad's relatives, he hasn't really cared if they've gotten 1 or 6 months behind on rent, gave them an eviction notice once, but they were able to work out a deal on that. My mom makes $2 more an hour than Brian does, they have satellite, they go out to the casino every payday, they smoke anywhere from 3-6 cartons of cigarettes a week - I just don't know what to tell them.
I'm her daughter, not her mother.My brother has horrible taste in women, but he also makes as much in a week as my husband makes in 3 weeks, their rent is the same as ours, and where yes my brother is paying child support I know it's not $2500 a month, give me a break, he's not even behind on his child support anymore. His wife's profession involves her taking off her clothes and spreading her legs, they live in the city where there is more than one strip joint, I'm sure she could get a job.
My sister - they can afford a new gas guzzling Montero, a 61" TV, brand new computer set-ups every year, satellite, custom motorcycles, trips to the bars, golfing every week, and only have one child that spends most of his time with her in-laws that takes any opportunity they can to rub it in everyone else's nose how they can drop $100 bill somewhere and not even notice it until who knows when. Not to fail to mention my sister takes every opportunity she can to rub it in my nose that she has all these fancy things - fancy things that are all bought on credit cards nonetheless, when neither of them were working. Their rent is $100 cheaper than ours...blah blah blah...
I'm so tired of hearing about it! And its not that I'm apathetic or don't care about their hardships, I do care and wish I could help them - but I can't. I have two children IN my home, my husband works full time, plus overtime, plus side jobs. I take advantage of different programs, work groups, etc to stretch our budget, we don't go out and do "fun things", our bills consist of internet, phone, electric, insurance, and rent - that is IT, and those are all at a minimum. - Seriously, a $50 electric bill, spiking to a whole $121, during a month of 100* temps daily. I go through ONE tank of gas every two weeks, and I don't live in town, out of all of us I live the furthest out from even the closest gas station, my brother and sister both live in a big city. We don't drink, we do smoke, but that's at 2.5 cartons every 2 weeks, for both of us together.They actually make me feel guilty for us having our bills paid, having food in my freezer & cupboards, being able to be a SAHM. The thing they fail to realize is because we're smart with what little money we get - we don't go out, we don't party, we don't buy excesses, we keep it at a minimum, I shop around, clip coupons, print coupons (well did before my printer crapped on me
) the works. My kids have never gone without - yea I might have to get creative with dinner once in a while right before payday, but they ALWAYS have a complete meal - veggies, meat, starch, and a grain, every day. Diapers might get a bit tight, so Mikaila gets wear just underwear so I can save as many diapers as possible for nighttime, sometimes she makes it to the toilet, other times I've had to clean up a mess in the floor - everyday its hit and miss. - Under my carpet I have a concrete slab, there is no padding to the carpet and it's that thin, industrial office carpet, its insane how easily things clean up out of this carpet, plus its dark purple, the only thing that shows up is the light colored dirt, grass, etc that shows that I need to vacuum about 6 times a day. Quite a few pieces of furniture in our house are hand-me downs, we're slowing working on changing that, but only as we're able to afford it and as it's practical.My point is I'm a grown adult, a mother and a wife to boot, therefore I ACT like one! Yes, there are a LOT of things I WANT to do, but its not budget friendly so I just don't do it, no big deal, when I'm no longer responsible for making sure my children are completely taken care of - meaning that I've taught them, both in word, and by example - to be personally responsible adults - then I am sure I will have the funds and time to do what I want to go do. In the meantime I'm not going to stress myself out over not being able to take care of this or that responsibility because there was something else that I wanted to do extra, that extra thing that I want to do is never worth my security or sanity. Since the 1st of January my husband has brought home a total of almost $13,000 on his pay checks - our bills have not been late, we've not run out of food, the kids both have shoes and clothes that fit & are clean, the works. I just get so pissed off hearing about how hard they all have it because they can't pay their bills, yet I see all the "extras" with my own eyes.
I completely blame them for their cumulative jealousy of myself and Brian, we have both our kids in our house that we're taking care of, make 1/3 less - at LEAST - and I feel very secure in maintaining our lifestyle, if that makes me a bitch, then so be it.
No comments:
Post a Comment