Ambitions Running on High

I'm going to be getting started on my garden placement today! I picked up some wooden pallets from a tile company the other day in Nashville for free, so I'm going to be tearing those apart to build my temporary raised beds with today. (Temporary meaning most likely for this year only since I'm short on funds this year to do some nice treated timber ones.) I'm also going to design out some container beds for the deck and start work on those maybe tomorrow.

I also got Mikeal's room oil soaped and waxed today, as well as the playroom. Maybe next year we'll be able to sand the floors down and put a new coat of varnish on them and seal them up nicely. They're not horrible right now, but the floors definitely look their age. I'll be working on Mikaila's room at some point in time this weekend...it's just difficult to do it with her "help"....

Otherwise I'm just going to be getting all the laundry caught up...




Yea that's right Katie...I'm such trash, I went from not having the water capabilities to run a washer to being able to do as many loads of laundry in a day as my heart desires. My children all have their own bedroom, not to mention Brian and I aren't having to sleep in the living room or dining room because we don't have the space for our children to be comfortable. I'm such trash that my husband works full time to provide for us all while being a responsible tax paying member of society so that where we may get government assistance on things such as healthcare for the kids we do try to do what we can to contribute to those funds, with the taxes he pays in on his wages.

I'm also going to be starting school so that I can better not just my life but also the lives of my children and so that when I start having grandchildren I can be there for my children as well as be able to spoil my grandchildren...not treat my children like they owe me now that they're grown and I used the government's funds to pay for their upbringing, now it's their turn to pay for my livelihood later in life. Although you probably will likely start to feel the pinch as your older children start to move out, or decide they no longer wish to live with you and are able to choose to go elsewhere, then you're no longer receiving the benefits you get on them nor the child support. Randall will at some point in time get tired of your controlling ways and grow some balls and stand up to you for himself and those babies. Then what? You'll go back to your old ways of how you were able to snag him? Play the field get knocked a few more times, draw charity and government help with raising them, then eventually find another man to take sympathy on you, or maybe you'll get lucky on the first go around, you'll tell the guy you're pregnant and he'll feel he has to do the right thing by you and the child and marry you, then you've won again...yeah, that's REALLY classy!

I'm such trash that if my husband needs to go do something or even just wants to go do something he'll volunteer to take a child or even both with him, I don't have to guilt him, call him no good and worthless, and berate him into taking all of the children with him. Afterall he can see by my actions of ME keeping the house clean, MY going and doing the grocery shopping, MY ability to get things done without forcing him to hold my hand or berating him into doing this because it's **boohoo**oh so hard to take care of my home and children while I'm sitting on my ass at the computer gossiping with whomever will talk to me and stalking anyone that calls me out on my bullshit crazy.

I'm also such trash that my "planning to lose weight" involves more than just giving lip service to saying I am going to start walking 5 minutes a day or I'm going to quit drinking Kool-aid and soda. I can do that much walking just by taking my laundry down to the washer and bringing it back up the stairs to fold and put away. I make real lifestyle changes that are easy to incorporate, that don't throw my body into shock, I allow myself things like sweets and sodas, but I don't keep them stocked in the house very often, and when they are I only eat one or two or drink maybe one soda in a day. Water is always available to drink or if I want some flavor to it I know how to make up a nice batch of lemonade without having to add in two cups of sugar and artificial flavoring. I make my meals often from scratch so I know what is in every bite I eat. My family doesn't eat it's meals crowded around the TV, most often the TV isn't even on. I spend my time running and playing with my children, not sitting on a bench in the shade telling them to leave me alone. I also incorporate regular dedicated cardio workouts that my children enjoy with me.

My relationship with my husband is awesome. It's not perfect, but it keeps me satisfied and happy at the end of the day. We're able to talk about anything without my having to throw dishes at him, I recognize that he's an adult and is perfectly capable of making his own decisions on everything. I don't berate him by throwing away all his clothes that I don't feel are good enough. If he's not able to provide something for us we either go without or make due with what we can afford, yea that meant I had to house my family in a tiny two bedroom house with a faulty water well that limited what we could do at home...but that only lasted about two years, we made do and in the end we were able to better ourselves. That's called growing up and being mature. You really shouldn't go through life thinking that because you have a certain expectation that everyone's going to lay down and give you want you want...this is the real world, a person has to work for what they want and need, and just like in the real world that takes a partnership, not a dictatorship.

Its also so super trashy of me that my grandparents are all deceased and my mother is having to start her life back over as well from nothing, that I can't go writing threatening letters and crying to any of them to pay my rent because I'm too lazy to allow my husband to go out and do what he has to do to provide for us so that I can stay home with our beautiful children. Then there are those times that he's unable to work due to injuries, I still don't go asking anyone for a handout...*I*, as my husband's partner, go out and make sure my family will be taken care of in the events he's unable to do that portion, and in turn he picks up where I'm not able to at home while I'm out working and providing for us. Right now he's working, but I know that at any time that can change, so instead of looking for a way for someone else to provide for my family *I* am bettering myself and improving upon my abilities so that not only can I contribute to my family to better it, but I'm also able to provide for my family in the event Brian is unable to for ANY reason. Within the next few weeks I'll not only be starting school but I'll also be working, all while also taking care of my household, ensuring that there are good meals on the table eat night, ensuring that they all have clean clothes to wear, and a clean house to come home to.

I'm such trash that at not even 30 years old I suffer from acute arthritis, depression, anxiety, and other health issues, up to and including being a bit overweight that I am not going to let those things get in my way of making sure my children, husband, and myself are taken care of. I can make excuses all day long to be LAZY, but being lazy isn't going to do anything for anyone, not even myself, but bring us all down and make me lazier.

I know you FORBID me from speaking of you, even on my own blog, but you know, this is America. In America there is this set of laws and rights given to all citizens of this country, some of the BIGGEST ones are the freedom of speech and the freedom from oppression. I'm free to express how I feel and to call things how they are, just as you're free to go ahead and call your names, gossip, stalk, play your poor pity me mind games with people...at some point in time you're going to have to get out of the middle school playground and realize that this is the real world, it's an adult world, not MTV, and petty playground antics aren't going to get you anywhere, at least not anywhere worthwhile.

I made the choice to give a good show of playing by your rules, I really don't care one way or the other how you choose to live your life, but I had some things to get off my chest, some points to make and some lines to draw. Your decisions don't really directly affect me, they do annoy me from time to time, but I don't let those annoyances consume my life or relationships. I know it greatly upset you that I removed the ability to post anonymously to my blog, but I'll repeat myself, this is an adult world, I don't play childish games with grown adults. Children hide from things they're scared of, especially the truth, adults come out and face them head on then do something about it, I'm doing things to improve my life and the life of my family, what have you done?

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