Monday, March 14, 2011

Things I've "Learned"...

...while posing as a 19 year old for 3 days now...

* If you're not married by the time you're 20 you are either ugly, skanky, or a guy.

* Having a baby is the 'best thing ever'...especially if you're unemployed, living at home with your parents, and can harass multiple men into providing everything for you.

* 99% of the pictures you post of yourself should be taken by yourself, preferably in a bathroom with a dirty toilet in the background or in a vehicle.

* The use of proper grammar & spelling is only for people who think they're better than you, anyone who uses proper grammar & spelling to insult your intelligence is 'stupid & immature'.

* Tattoos should only be gotten if they look cool that week, preferably in places that can be easily shown off in any type of clothing.

* "Older men" refers to any male over the age of 21, who has grown tired of catering to the whining demands of their 'adult' girlfriends who are unable to drive themselves anywhere because they don't have a license, therefore are unable to get a job, and unable to care for the children they have with some other man..and refuse to do anything but make that other man's life absolute hell because he won't cater to her every whim either.

* Many of these (19-21yo) 'Baby Daddies' work their butts off to make sure their children are being cared for, in every way possible under the circumstance of not being able to tolerate the 'Baby Mamas', only to have to put up with ungrateful childish brats (the mamas) to the point they become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and get left with the feeling that maybe their baby will be better off without all the drama, so just pay the mama and be done with.

* A guy not checking in with his girlfriend for more than 12 hours is reason to blast him for being some sort of uncaring low life that is 'not needed'...only for such posts to be deleted at hour 13 because he finally found his phone charger and saw where you'd blew up his phone.

* Jersday is actually Thursday, the day that Jersey Shore airs.

* Babies are only an excuse to keep the spotlight on you, in an effort to out shine your friends...whether it be the pregnancy announcement with the 'man of your dreams', the fallout that comes a few months later when you find a better man or he gets tired of your bullshit ways & abuse, the birth in which you hope the baby daddy comes running back to your bed so he can spend more time with his child, or the following months when you realize you can make his life living hell because he wants something to do with his child, but not you because you're a drama whore bitch.

* Deceit is a way of life. It doesn't matter who the lie is going to hurt in the long run, so long as you get your 30 seconds of fame off the deal that's all that matters. Being proved that you openly lied, by telling the truth not 12 hours beforehand is justification for deleting all posts about the truth, so that you can further prove just how 'mean' these 'childish people' are, nosing in your public to the world business that you post.

* A "great job" entails working at KMart over Taco Bell.

ugh...I'm so terribly happy I am actually 'old' and have nearly a decade under my belt since my own teen years. Even then I can't remember it being anywhere near the level I read on a daily basis with these folks. Maybe it's because we didn't have such things as Facebook, not even MySpace back then, and only VERY few folks actually had a cell phone of their own. Regardless of the reason for not knowing such petty foolishness actually existed on such a grand scale back then there is NO WAY I'd want to be a teenager/young adult way in any sort of hell.

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