Saturday, March 31, 2012

Another Vocabulary/Reading Comprehension Lesson

Do me a the top of the page.  What does the title of this blog say it is?

Does it say: "The Unchallengeable, Perfect, Unquestionable Truth"? Or anything of that particular caliber?

No, it does not.

I've only been a living breathing part of this world for 29 years, 10 months, 29 days (or so)...I'll be 30 on the Eve of Cinco de Mayo, so you do the math...if you don't know what day that is, I'm sorry, you're just shit out of luck.  (I've also started drinking)

ANYWAYS...the point of me explaining my age has to do with the title of my blog.

My blog title states that this is "Perceptions of My Reality".

Vocabulary lesson tidbit according to


1. the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.
2. immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral, psychological, or aesthetic qualities; insight; intuition; discernment: an artist of rare perception.
3. the result or product of perceiving,  as distinguished from the act of perceiving; percept.
4. Psychology . a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present.
5. Law . the taking into possession of rents, crops, profits, etc.
my[mahy]  pronoun

1. (a form of the possessive case of I  used as an attributive adjective): My soup is cold.

re·al·i·ty [ree-al-i-tee] noun, plural re·al·i·ties for 3, 5–7.
1. the state or quality of being real.
2. resemblance to what is real.
3. a real thing or fact.
4. real things, facts, or events taken as a whole; state of affairs: the reality of the business world; vacationing to escape reality.
5. Philosophy .

    a. something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.
    b. something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive. break it down, by meanings of the individual words my blog title implies:

The act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding, owned by my personage, in the state or quality of being real.

In more feeble minded words:
This is what I see as being real and accurate.

Back to what my biological age has to do with any of this....

In my almost 30 years of life on this planet I have learned that everyone sees their life one way, while someone else sees it another way.  If you were to ask my mother about my life she'll tell you I've always been a goody-two-shoes and it totally shocks her to know that I've been stoned, drunk, in jail, the works, even though she's witnessed each of these things herself.  My best friend, who has been through most of my life with me, will tell you that I'm the most awesome badass she knows.  My Grandma would look at you like you were stupid if you were to so much as say one negative thing about me.  My Grandpa would laugh and take credit for me being like him.  My Granny would beat you senseless without even moving more than a few eyebrow muscles.  My Papa would just shrug his shoulders and say he still loves me anyways.  My Daddy would carry on that he knew all these things about me, even if it's the first time he's ever heard it, and state that I know where he's at if I ever need his help.  My sister would not only take what you have to say, but she'll make it look like I'm the most deplorable person to walk the earth.  My brothers would both be fairly non-chalant about it...the older one of the two describing how he can top it; they would both beat you senseless for  portraying me in a bad light..the older one physically, the younger one mentally.

So my point is we all have a different perception on each of our own realities.  I'm comfortable with most of the details of my life.  That's not saying I'm proud of all of them or that I'm at a place with myself that I'm comfortable sharing all of them, but I'll let you know when such is the case & I'll not share anything I'm not comfortable sharing, especially if I think my feelings on that matter may grossly skew how I portray the details.

As far as my stalker is concerned...I have no ill wishes against her.  I don't hate her.  She's annoyed me & my family beyond belief, but so does pollen.  If she wishes to share her perception of reality she's more than welcome.  Comments are open to anyone.  I just know what I've had to experience while in her sights for the last four years.  I'm sure she's a lovely person so long as you agree with her perceptions, never contradict or challenge her, and do as she expects you to do for her, when she expects you to do it for her & not a minute later.

**Yes, I came back & edited some of the formatting...I do believe I mentioned I'd been drinking while posting.


To end the month of March we went out to the state park that is about 2 miles or so from our house so that the kids could play in the creek!  Generally something reserved for the end of May, but this year we could have started doing it a few weeks ago.

It was so pretty.  The dogwoods in bloom, birds chirping, tons of other kids to also play with.  We even took LugNut  with us.  She wasn't too terribly keen on being in the creek, but didn't want to be away from the kids either.

Anyways, we're headed back tomorrow, going to take some burgers out to grill then, instead of just cold sandwiches.

Mikeal & LugNut

The whole family, except me....

The kiddos & LugNut

Get Over Me, Please.

 Want to know what I know about my stalker?

Based on the stats under the spoiler button I know she frequents my blog...The times/dates she arrived here in the last 5 days are posted, outside of the ones I can post tomorrow, or even later this morning after I publish this post.  I also know that she views my pages using a computer that still, surprisingly, runs on Windows XP and she uses FireFox to view my blog.

Stalker Alert!  ~ Since I'm so fond of screenshots I've graduated from just copying & pasting info.  I imagine I'll be able to update often.  Isn't it grand?

As you can see there are 10 hits from her...out of the 50 most recent hits.  Of those 50 most recent hits there are also 21 hits from my own IP address....I guess I stalk myself about twice as much as my stalker does.  The other 19 hits come from Maryland, Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, (two cities in) Quebec (Canada), Dehli (India - stoopid spammer commenter), Oklahoma, New York, California, and (two cities in) Texas.  That's just for this blog, over the last almost 6 days, but past 50 hits.

Addendum:  I've upgraded some things.  If you follow my blog through Google Reader the hits will only appear as being from Mountain View, CA, which is where the Blogger/Google site stuff is hosted. I'm only interested in one particular person who has stalked, harassed, threatened, and otherwise proven herself to be a troll, up to & including claiming to care nothing for my family, so doesn't seek us out.  I'm just making a point...and besides 'normal' readers don't normally have as many hits to a particular blog as the actual blog author does.

 Also, as noted in an earlier entry she has created several accounts on Twitter, each one of which Brian & I have blocked.  That entry can be found here.

Now, she's making claims that *I* am stalking her, that I took my precious time to sort through the MILLIONS of accounts on Twitter to find, I'm sorry, that's wrong.  I searched Twitter to find her 17yo son's 16yo ex-girlfriend JUST so I could speak ill of her, my stalker.  Oh, if only I thought she was that important.  I don't have to search out some 16year old child to speak ill of her, I can manage to do that all on my own, if I cared.  Sadly, as you can see in the link I posted just above, Brian is the one that alerted me to her having followed him.  Anyone with half a brain can see that I am viewing Brian's Twitter account, from my account.  The word "Followers" is highlighted off to the left there, indicating that I am viewing the people that follow my husband.  It is also clear by the gray "Follow" button next to her name that I do not follow her.

I did include all time stamps with each of my screenshots I took during that particular few days, but sadly screwed up on the first one where "her son" threatened the lives of my children & family - I actually cropped it & did not save the original, but did post the cropped version that you see within an hour of logging on & taking it on my twitpic's still there.  Right here even, clearly stating that I'd posted that particular cropped screenshot 19 days ago.  The original that I have on my laptop & USB drive have the date & time stamps embedded into the photo itself.  I was happy to see that she FINALLY, after being told, by me even, over 4 years ago, learned the proper spelling of "trailer" by the time she got to her 2nd or 4th Twitter account...that proves she is teachable.

I would give you screenshots of my conversation with the poor 16yo gal that is at the heart of this whole mess, but that was a few hundred (or thousand) tweets ago, maybe the stalker can upload her own screenshots of it?  And then explain to me how I even knew her son's name or email to find him on Twitter....  Yes, I admit to knowing one of her kids' names was Andrew, but I could have sworn his last name was Scott???  I don't know, I didn't really care.  - You go do a search on Twitter for Andrew Scott, or hell, even Andrew Austin, tell me how many results you came up with.  I'm not going anywhere...

Now, once you've combed through each of those, are you able to tell me whom this Andrew person is dating? Or just broke up with?  Are you sure that he's the son of my stalker?  How about if I added in the bit where Andrew hadn't made but 20 some odd tweets, last one being back in like November, prior to the death threats that were sent to me in March?  I think he had a couple of hundred followers/followees...can you pick out which one of those he's dating?  Or that they'd broken up?  Does Twitter have a directory listing your name, mother's name, girlfriend's name, ex girlfriend's names, and IDs? 

Someone PLEASE tell me how I know all this stuff?!  I don't have email addresses for any of them as far as I know, unless the "mom" uses the same email address she used like 4 years ago... The last time I actually spoke to her (my stalker) was on Facebook, sometime last year, when Brian told me that his brother had called him to say she had cervical caner?  And shockers of all shockers there, I actually UNBLOCKED her and sent her a message asking about it, where she told me, herself, about the cervical cancer.  I wished her well with it, never once sent a friend request, nor accepted one.   ...hold on, I'll pull up my message archives on Facebook to take the screenshots of my discourse with my stalker... (I did block out part of her name for privacy reasons, respect & all that)
As you can see I have her blocked again.  I've had her blocked since that particular conversation.  I went straight to the horse's mouth to hear, instead of relying on hearing it 2nd...3rd hand.
A few months later ...probably around the time she would have been finishing her rounds of Chemo...this particular incident occurred...I can provide screenshots of that conversation bit as well, if needed...ahh, what the ya go (I did block out the poor gal's name for the screenshots though).  I don't have her blocked because I did ask her some questions and wish to have them's been almost a year & I've still not heard anything.  And shocker of all shockers - she lives in the exact same area as my stalker!

Moving on...

Other wild claims.  Sorry, never once did Brian nor I say that she (the stalker) had tried to make a move on far as I know, just that she's been harassing him for I guess just about 15 years now.  They'd been in the same area chatrooms & attended some of the same parties back when they were in their late teens/early 20s...Brian will be 35 at the end of September, the stalker is a year or so younger than him, I believe, maybe it's a year older...anyways, I know she's not older than her husband (Brian's brother) and he's just two years older than Brian.  Another little tidbit - the ex-girlfriend of Brian's mentioned just above was also part of these same chat groups.  Now tell me I'm just grasping at straws or some shit?
I do know my stalker also has a 17 year old son, that she gave birth to either right before or right after she turned 16 & another one that's about 2yrs younger than that.  Then of course her 3 younger ones, the youngest being roughly a year older than Mikaila, so she'd be around 6 now...I know she was a few months pregnant with the one just before the youngest when she met Brian's brother & they were married before that baby was born, after just 3 months of 'dating' they've been married now for about 8 years I'd guess.  And she has another son in the middle there somewhere. 
Of course, I don't have much room to talk, I suppose, on that front.  I've been married three times.  You can read about the first one here, if you like. Short story on that one - I met him when I was in Head Start, so around 4 years old, we were best friends, even after he moved one direction out of state & I moved another direction to another state we kept in contact, he was a year older than me.  We were both very devout in our faith, but due to racial issues (he's biracial) we ended up keeping our romantic relationship a secret from my parents (don't even get my started on my mom, thankfully though she's finally matured in many regards).  We got married, in secret, a few months before I turned 18, so that we did not fall prey to 'teenage lustful desires' out of wedlock, had planned a huge wedding for the early fall after I graduated from high school & before I'd planned on starting college or just traveling abroad with him.  We'd planned on using the few months between my graduation/18th birthday and the formal wedding to introduce the idea to my family, because once I was 18 & out of school there wasn't much they could do about and yea, well..there's a whole other entry about that.  Long story shortened - Secret wedding; car wreck; funeral; severe depression; graduate high school; surprise 'you're pregnant'; another funeral; life sucked like a basket of rotten eggs on a dirt road....I found a friend in alcohol.

You've read plenty of entries about my ex husband.  I'll keep this story short too...  19years old; drunk; drunk; drunk; man pays attention to me; makes lofty promises to me; drunk; 6 months later marry the asshole (Dec 2001); move 12 hours away 9 days later; surprise! pregnant again; isolation; abuse; try to leave; family says you're married, stick with it, have a nice life; have baby (Aug 2002); abuse abuse abuse; baby is 4 months old; move back to family area; family says you chose this life, make it grand; ex rapes 5 year old; lies about it; "he's such a great guy, you're just a drama queen; family pays for ex's defense lawyer; surprise! pregnant again; abuse abuse; stillbirth at 23wks (June 2003); ex gets plea deal of 4 months/4yrs probation for the rape; I find out the real truth; ex goes to jail to serve 4 months; I pack what I can, leave with 13 month old (Sept 2003); live on the streets; make shitty choices; try drugs; find old friend in alcohol; shitty choices; slut slut slut; meet awesome people in a chatroom from 8hrs away; move to Texas ((these chatroom people are the most awesomest, helped me sober up, gave me a place to live, gave me a car, I really never expected such blessings from 'people I'd never met, some I've never even laid eyes on)); meet Brian (Sept 2004); sober up; break-up with Brian; move back to Oklahoma; get divorce final (June 2006); celebration party; move back to Texas (July 2006).

Sober; sober; sober (except for some organic stuff); work work work; back on own two feet; get own apartment; surprise! Brian comes back into mine & Mikeal's life (Dec 2006); lose 100lbs; Daddy dies weeks after finding out he had cancer; Brian proposes; Surprise! the infertile couple is pregnant!; (yea, just like that all in the same week for those 3 things)(March 2007); pregnancy complications; move back to Oklahoma by my family; Brian works to rebuild relationships with his family he'd cut ties with years before; marry (Oct 2007); Baby (Dec 2007); work to re-sever most of Brian's family ties (April 2008); Brian works; provides; move to Tennessee (Feb 2010); life is grand.  I'm back in school; Brian has a decent job that pays the bills; kids are thriving all is well enough.  Married 5 years this next Halloween.

So anyways...back to my point, that was my last 12 years of life in a nutshell (18 to almost 30)....

To my stalker:

Speak 'adult-like' to us... about you pay attention to the whole: "we have no desire to speak to you, please stop stalking & harassing us, the people we hang out with, and the like?"  I'd have no clue you even existed in my Twitterverse if you didn't CONSTANTLY make yourself known in my Twitterverse.

I have no clue what kind of absurd lies you're referring do have 5 children, who were fathered by 4 different men, starting at age 15. Your husband has been married 5 times.  All of that was accomplished before either of you were 30.  You've battled cervical cancer, caused by HPV, which we all know is just fancy talk for a strand or 50 of herpes/warts.  Even the warts kids often get on their fingers are caused by a strand of HPV - geesh, you'd think you'd know something about biology, you have all this time on your hands to find us & folks that know us & where Brian works so that y'all can call & harass him there.  Hell, why the fuck do you think we started lying to y'all & MIL after we moved?  It's because you seem to LIVE for finding us & being harassing little twats.  I've changed my blog URL 3 times in the last 4 years; emails at least as often; Brian has changed his cell phone number God only knows how many times; I've left forums; Brian's left a few social media outlets; I mean, FOR FUCKS SAKE! Get the FUCK OVER US!  The ONLY reason you can find anything at all to be upset over is because you go looking for it.

Want to talk shit about me? Go for it.  I can guarantee that I have better details & can tell the story SOOOO much better with eyewitnesses..hell, a lot of it I can even provide legal & court documentation & mug shots for!!  So take your best shot.  Whatever you have to say about the "truth" in your world sure as hell can't paint me as horrible as I can myself.  Heck, I'm like Lindsay Lohan, but with kids & husbands on the roster...just take out the powdered drugs & theft, and I did a whole lot more jail time, no house arrest or probation though.  The difference is, sweetheart, I'm not afraid of the truth.  I OWN my life, my mistakes, my triumphs, my failures, my accomplishments, etc.  I'm completely comfortable with my bad AND my good.

So, you can kiss my eggshell white, cellulite ridden, wide ass.  It should be perfectly placed just high enough above my giraffe legs that you don't even have to bend down while you're on your knees.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Brace Yourself...

Back on the 6th of March I posted an early update about my sinus surgery here.

Where I posted this picture set:

The first picture of course being one taken of me roughly a week before I had my sinus surgery.  Just a normal, average, Tennessee late winter day, nothing coming out in bloom yet, the pollen count might have been 5, if that.  Do note the puffy eyes, general swollen look to my face, etc.

The second picture was taken of me 4 days after my surgery (surgery was on Feb 28th) the Bradford pears, Redbuds, daffodils, etc had started blooming by then, so the pollen count was likely close to about 100...notice the general lack of puffiness around my eyes, although I was still QUITE swollen from the surgery itself  (I gained almost 20lbs in water weight that first day) my eyes look bigger, my nose & cheeks generally look smaller.

This is my new picture, taken just a few minutes ago, one month since my sinus surgery.  The pollen count today was 440, three of my neighbors mowed their lawn, & the guy that owns the field across the street mowed his field.  I also mowed my lawn just yesterday.  Without the sinus surgery I would have died two weeks ago, or at least thought I was dying, when the pollen counts started SKYROCKETING; today I did have a bit of sneezing & a slightly runny nose....

Do note I have been up since 8am, after being up quite late the night before, and I took this picture at 1:30am, plus all the afore mentioned factors of the pollen count, lawns being mowed etc...I'm sure if they would have stood in my yard today to do the pollen count it would have registered closer to 700 instead of just 440; being as the 440 is in the city & I'm in the country....

I truly have absolutely no words for how wonderful I feel!

All three photos together:

Sunday, March 25, 2012

You want truth?

So apparently my stalker is claiming that she's going to start a blog of truths about 'her husband's trailer park family' ...being as it is my husband & I are the objects of her blue waffle obsession, so I thought I'd beat her to the punch.

I've only ever once actually lived in a trailer park...for about 2 months, when I was homeless, with a toddler.  You can read through my blog, or search homeless in here,  you can see the story for yourself, although I'm quite sure I didn't list every couch I slept on during that time.

I've done drugs, quite the colorful variety of drugs, didn't even start though until my son was about 14 months old, life spiraled out of control for me, it took me about 6-8 months before I got myself straightened out & sobered up.  Now I just drink once in a while.  I've had one bottle of wine in my fridge now for at least 6 months, another bottle now for almost 2 months, Brian has a bottle of Scotch that's had maybe 3 shots taken out of it since January, and we've had a 6 pack in the fridge, minus 2 bottles, of Guiness, for almost a month now.  In our 4.5 years of marriage & in the 8 years we've known each other we've been out to a bar or club maybe 6 times, not too sure if that number isn't lower.

Lets see...
As far as where I've lived all my life, started off bouncing around Naval bases on the East coast.  Then settled into a modest house my dad build himself on a 10 acre farm.  My Granny's health started declining, so we packed up & moved from Arkansas to Oklahoma, on their farm of about 10 acres, there were two houses on that property, one 5 bedrooms, that we eventually made into just 4 bedrooms to enlarge the living room, and a 3 bedroom place.  After that  I moved out into an apartment room in a lovely lady's house, spent some time living on a HUGE 300,000+ acre Ranch in Montana, a lovely orchard/former plantation in Georgia, corn fields family farm of generations in Iowa, and spent some time with friends in NYC after 9/11/01 occured.  I then got married & bounced around in another few apartments as my ex husband's job would transfer us back & forth across the country.  I left him after about 2years, spent about 6 months bouncing around couches & vehicles, then moved into a VERY lovely home in the suburbs of Austin, TX, where I then met my husband, who was living in an apartment, lived there for a while before moving back to my momma's house to get my divorce, child custody, etc stuff all 100% done & over with.  She lives in what was once a one bedroom tiny trailer house, but has been modified & built onto to now include a large living room & two decent sized bedrooms, but also set far enough out to where they can't even see their neighbors' houses until the winter when  all the trees are bare, then the houses are nothing more than a few lights back in the woods.  With my divorce & custody issues taken care of I moved back to Texas, got my own apartment, had a decent job that I really loved, as the assistant manager of a convenience store, settled into a life there.  A few months later Brian & I ran back into each other without having had any contact whatsoever in well over a year, our feelings were just as strong as they'd been early in our relationship two years before, so we gave it another go.  Within a few months he asked me to marry him & almost immediately after we were expecting Mikaila.  I started having problems in my pregnancy & Brian wasn't yet cleared to go back to work after a brief hospital stay, so I talked with my apartment manager, she agreed to let me out of my lease as it was easy to re-rent my apartment, being it was a brand new complex, the apartments were HUGE (mine was 1200 sqft, 2bdrm, 2 bath, washer & dryer hook-ups, all appliances, except W/D included, HUGE closets - OH I loved that apartment, and the rent was only $650 a month!  A TOTAL steal!  And it was in one of the best school districts of the Austin, TX suburbs.  I wasn't doing too bad for myself, in my opinion, for having only been 24 at the time I moved in, having gone through a divorce, not getting child support, with my ex being back in prison again, and a by then 4 year old in tow, even paid for mine & Mikeal's health insurance (THANK GOD we are both quite healthy individuals).

So anyways, I started having numerous 'unknown' problems with my pregnancy, Brian wasn't released to go back to work in the state of Texas (their background checks are great for listing even medical reasons for lay-offs or unemployment statuses) since we couldn't make a living on Brian not working & me being on modified bedrest we made the heartbreaking decision to move to Oklahoma, where my mom had offered to let us stay there for a few months, no longer.  My new OB doc was actually the doc I'd seen since I was a teenager, minus a few years, & had also treated my entire family, being a family doctor, he diagnosed me quickly as having stomach ulcers for the basis of many of my issues, started me on a medication, within a few hours I was enjoying being pregnant for the first time in 22 weeks.

Brian said "screw it" to getting medically released since most places in Oklahoma don't even bother with any sort of check, whatsoever, Brian landed a job within a week, within two weeks he had a job he really enjoyed.  My mom's cousin-in-law had a small basically abandoned trailer house, tucked off back in the woods, that needed about $200 in repairs to be 'good enough' that he'd rent to us for only $150 a month, to help us get some cash in our pockets to move out into a better place.  During the last two months of my pregnancy I worked to get it cleaned up, floors fixed, new water pipes ran throughout the whole thing, the water heater fixed, the gas line fixed - I did have the help of a family friend who is a skilled tradesman, and Brian worked 40-50 hrs a week plus assisted my step-dad in cutting, hauling, & splitting wood to sell.

We lived in that tiny place from Dec 11-March 31 & moved into a similar sized place, but a solid house, on a concrete foundation.  And life was well enough.  It was just a 2bedroom place that consisted of maybe 900sq ft, but we were on a rent to own contract and 100% free to make any additions or modifications to it that we wanted, so home ownership without a bank & without interest.  We could have had it paid off in as little as 5 years.  We lived there for 2 years & had enough of the neighbors & the owner of the property.  The neighbors were contrary white trash who liked to break into our home when we'd go out, siphon gas out of our vehicles, leave their trash lying around & it'd collect in our yard since we had a fence along the one side, and ugh it was annoying living next to them.  The owners of our place showed up at our door at 6am, after Brian had been off work for two DAYS - OMG! - from an injury he'd sustained.  He had a few weeks of vacation saved up, a few weeks of Sick Leave accrued, and then since the injury was work related he could have also gone for worker's comp if need be - it was just shin splints & he was taking about a week of paid leave off from work.  Besides, we'd gotten out income tax refund back that same day & planned on going to the bank that very afternoon to get a traditional home loan on the place & pay off the remaining balance that we owed the owners.  Doesn't it suck for them that due to their actions that morning we said screw it, I sent out an email to a friend in Tennessee that I knew had some rent houses, she had one coming open by the end of the month, so Brian put in to take off the entire month, with pay, put in for a job transfer out to Tennessee, and after a court hearing at the end of the month with my ex about child support & all that we in we were on the road within an hour of being done with court.

Now we live in a very lovely house with 3 levels to it, if you count the garage basement, that technically has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, three living areas, a dining room, full kitchen, on an acre of land, surrounded by quiet, awesome neighbors, fields, & woods.  The school system is awesome, especially when compared to Oklahoma schools & our rent, to date, is paid up, in full, through the end of May, at this time.  If all goes well next week it'll be paid up until the end of August, and then won't be technically due again until September, while in the meantime we just continue to pay in advance.  The house is an older farm house, but in the last year a new roof, new windows, & new siding have been put up/in.  We're getting a whole new CH/A unit some time soon, we've put up new ceiling fans in 3 of the 4 rooms that need them, and I'm slowly, but surely getting 50 years of layers of paint stripped from all the old woodwork in the house & repainting.  IF all goes well enough in the next week or so we'll be working to also strip, sand, & refinish all the wood floors in here.

Brian also just got a promotion at work to assistant manager, where he not only gets a modest raise, but he also has more opportunities for overtime & really nice bonuses.  Only once during the last 5 years of us living on our own as ANYTHING been turned off & that was earlier this year because I'd totally spaced on paying the water bill one month...our water was off for about 4 hours, as the meter crew took that long to get back around to us & didn't even bother with knocking on my door to let me know they were turning it off, not even sure I'd gotten a cut-off notice.  We also own both of our vehicles 100%, but they are two of only about 8 we've owned 100% in the last 5 years - we get tired of them, or have a different need, or come across a better value, or someone in more need than we have and sell or trade off.

The kids, Brian, & myself all have good health.  Mikaila went through a rough patch with being able to hear/talk, but after getting a competent doctor the issue was found & corrected.  Two years ago she had almost no vocabulary, 6 months ago it was still quite limited, but since her last surgery there was an IMMEDIATE noticeable improvement & with continued speech therapy she's on par to be equal to her Kindergarten counterparts by the time she starts in about 18 months, therefore no longer requiring any additional therapies.  Her balance & large muscle motor skills were also affected by the lack of hearing/fluid retention on her eardrums so she is starting physical therapy to train her body to react normally and all that.  Mikeal is excelling, still, academically and is otherwise a normal almost 10 year old boy...except for the bit where bugs, frogs, & worms totally freak him out, Mikaila makes up for that though with her insistence of saving all that she comes across, even from the meanie Mommy that digs them up in her garden.

Lets see, what else.  In the last 5 years Brian has gone from wearing a men's 44 size pants to a 36 and is continually looking better every day. --mmm yummy.  I had some hormone issues arise with a birth control method I was using for years, but it took almost 3 years before that was figured out & discontinued, it's taken almost another 2 years for them to finally start balancing back out properly, so I'm FINALLY starting to see results again in my weighloss attempts, after gaining almost 60lbs because of it.  I no longer suffer from sinus or allergy issues thanks to my sinus surgery last month, which has REALLY helped me no longer have daily headaches, puffiness, shortness of breath, & the like.  I can finally get out & about & do the hard labor things I love doing around the house...In fact push mowing my lawn wasn't suspended because of my lack of being able to breathe, but was suspended by the mower saying "screw you", I'm not working any more.  Eh, what can I say, it's a 20" mulching push mower, we live on the side of a hill, with VERY thick grass, & the mower is at least 3 years old, it was bound to happen. 

But, I digress for the day.  The kids are out with their PawPaw living it up in town, my house is clean, today is my 'no homework/studying' day, so I'm going to work on getting some new painted glass pieces drawn up & all that.  I'm happy with my life & the progression of it.  At 22 I was living on the streets basically, and now at just a few weeks shy of 30 I have a wonderful, self-sustained life, with my husband, children, friends, and family.  I don't live in the charity ghetto where the bragging rights go to the person with the fanciest furnished HUD home.  I also don't have to keep popping out kids to make my man love me or pay my bills.  My ex owes nearly $20,000 in back child support & is supposed to only pay $200 a month.  I've seen a whole $1200 from him in the 7 years since it was filed and that's whatever.  He's not an asshole because he refuses to pay child support.  He's an asshole because he's an abusive prick who prefers the company of little girls he pulls out of random folks' yards to the company of an adult woman.  He's currently right where he belongs - in a maximum security prison. More power to him.  I've achieved all of this through the hard work of both myself & my husband.  Not once have we ever living in a housing assistance facility or house where we've qualified for assistance. Only about half of this time have we even qualified for food stamps and if it wasn't for some bad luck with my husband's shoulder surgery & a surprise lay-off at the same time we wouldn't have even bothered with getting back on them.  However, with his new promotion & now bonuses and the steady income I've started to generate with my glass pieces we'll be ready to be back off of assistance by the time our certification period ends again.

If this all qualifies me as being trailer trash than so be it.  I'd much rather be labeled trailer trash than be some blue waffled twit with 4 baby daddies before I was 30, living in the church provided housing development, collecting disability for the cervical cancer I contracted from the constant herpes outbreaks, while also collecting child support, food stamps, handouts, and cash assistance, while my husband pretends to be "self-employed" just to keep getting all the benefits.


I did momentarily forget to mention that the trailer we lived in right after Mikaila was born my mother-in-law also stayed in for a while.  She'll tell you all about the rats as big as her dog, a rat terrier, the deer that would come up on the deck & eat out of her hand, the rattlesnakes in the grass, the coyotes that would come up to the door to play with her dog through the glass, the wolves even that bounced gayly throughout the yard.  Mother-in-law also calls my house currently from time to time, so messed up on her "medications" that she has no clue whom she's even calling or why.  She's also taken up calling others & doing the same, or just hanging up on them.  She is also on her 5th or 6th marriage now.  Her eldest son sure did follow in her foot steps, except he was only 30 by the time he landed his 5th spouse.

Stalker & Harasser

I've previously blogged about a stalker/harasser.  If you follow myself or my husband on Twitter you've seen that the last two weeks now have been riddled in this annoyance.  She has AGAIN created another new account that she is using to follow at least Brian publicly.  For the last four years we have asked that they *politely* fuck off.  We have blocked them from Facebook.  I've changed my blog URL THREE times over the last four years.  In the last week alone we have blocked/reported now FOUR new twitter accounts of theirs.  We've changed phone numbers, moved & not given them our forwarding address, the works.  Most recently I have even started filing reports with the local police department, in which not less than a week ago I was assured that the officer would be making a call for them to be served with a "Do Not Contact" request.  This has lead to them even calling their mommy (who also happens to be Brian's mother) to call & harass us.

So since it seems improbable that they will knock off their bullshit and law enforcement is a joke in this particular matter it would seem, maybe not, but ugh, this waiting game is bullshit, I'm going to start blogging the screenshots, the new accounts, etc.  If you happen to run across someone trying to impersonate either Brian or myself, please do let us know & when able to please take a screen shot for us & email it to me at .  Right now I'm up to 132 printed pages of direct harassment and still combing an old harddrive that has a slew of screenshots as well.  I'm not referring to nonsense they post that isn't brought to our direct attention from them personally.  I'm referring to the emails they've sent, the phone calls, the texts, the blog comments, the tweets that mention either of us, as well as posts that mention our personal information.

I may refer to this person as a "sister-in-law" or husband's brother's wife, but unless you know us personally & know their names personally there's no way you'd be able to pick them up out of a line-up, except where they've posted their own personal information.  For safety's sake, even though I am posting screenshots of just a handful of screenshots, I will be blacking out any specific personal information. 

This latest round of extreme harassment stems from a brief encounter I had with a random young gal on Twitter.  She showed up as a "Follow Suggestion", I checked out her profile, saw that she was looking to find out how to make her account private/block specific persons....I replied to such tweet, telling her how to find it in her settings, a few messages were exchanged in which I figured out she was referring to my stalker, which is the mother to a guy she'd dated for a bit, via a post she'd sent to me where the 32yo mother of her 17yo ex was dogging on her on a public profile.  I have the 32yo blocked so had a hard time pulling up the link because I have her blocked & therefore the profile wouldn't pull-up.  I got annoyed trying to open the link, so logged in from someone else's account & tried it...sure enough the mystery was solved.  I did tweet to the gal that I'm sorry she got mixed up with that psycho's son, that she's my husband's brother's wife & I'm positive anything that she (the 16yo) thinks about the 32yo is probably no different than what the rest of us have said or do say about her & good luck getting her to move on. (Keep in mind the gal I was tweeting with is only 16 or so, and just not my brand of person to follow, as I prefer the over 21 crowd, so I never even bothered with following her and I don't believe she follows me).  Roughly 36hrs or so later I log into Tweetdeck to find this lovely  batch of tweets on March 11, 2012.

Supposedly these are tweets sent from the 17yo....except one small thing wrong with that is the bit where the language and horrid grammar & spelling is VERY similar, if not identical to his mother's spelling.  She's one of the only persons I know that tries to insult someone by saying they're "trailor trash" ...I've performed NUMEROUS Google searches to find out what "trailor trash" is over the last 4 years, but I keep getting re-routed to 'Do you mean: trailer?"  One would think that after 4 years of trying to correct her idea of how it's spelled she would have learned something, but alas, such is not the case.

Both Brian & I have REPEATEDLY requested she take her funk elsewhere and go be miserable or actually go get a life, I don't care if it's miserable or happy really, but to stop the immature nonsense.  They claim, REPEATEDLY that to them we do not exist...and yet they spend HOURS, days, weeks, months, tracking us down, stalking us, then harassing us.  Brian & I have both worked hard to be content online.  Sadly due to their harassment Brian deemed it necessary to even delete his Facebook account...Why the fuck should we leave social media outlets because some blue waffle disease carrying cum dumpster has nothing to do with her 5 kids, failing marriage, and failing health?

This blog entry outlines just one avenue she's stooped to in order to stalk.  Yes, please do take the time to read the entry, as well as her Anonymous comment, just so you can see for yourself her claims...I really wish that I would not have deleted many of her other Anonymous comments where she would claim to want to know nothing of us, or she only reads my blog to keep up with what's going on with us, and the like.  Really, I don't give two shits if they read my blog on an hourly basis - more power to them - the part that annoys me if when they call my house at all hours to bitch about what I write, or they call my husband's place of business to harass him about what I write, or they call his cell phone to bitch about it, or my mother, Brian's father to bitch at him about visiting us.  Seriously!  My father-in-law can make a trip that lands him within 5 minutes of his other son & his son can't make time to see him or wants to chew him out.  WE go visit father-in-law or he comes up to visit us and his other son will call to bitch out father-in-law about us and how father-in-law wouldn't do the same for them.  Why in the HELL would anyone want to visit with someone that sends fake legal looking papers to con them out of thousands of dollars?  Or just wants to scream & bitch at him about how he doesn't do enough for them?  We ask for NOTHING from father-in-law.  He does what he does do for us/the kids because he wants to..and I feel guilty about it simply because I've never had someone in my life that 'spoils' grandkids...or even loans money to kids/grandkids.  I wasn't raised asking for money or gifts, much less EXPECTING someone to give such.  I'm ALWAYS thankful for what I am given, gift or loan wise, and ALWAYS live up to the expectations placed upon me where such is concerned.  The blue waffle carrier mentioned here DEMANDS 'gifts' and if it's not good enough she makes damned sure that you well as everyone else.  If you do not hold her same ideals you're just as bad as the horrid 'gift giver'.  She'll make damned sure to not only annoy the piss out of you, but she'll fake legal documents, fuss, throw fits, throw dishes even, until she gets her way.

oh this is exhausting.

Anyways...back on track here.

The harassing tweets from her "son's" account continued for a day or two..then stopped.  She then created a new account, under her own name, to which I again logged on to find a whole new set of tweets from her, since I'd blocked the son's account so they no longer showed in my timeline:

And that went on for some 30 or 50 tweets...  Truth be told I've said all I've wanted to say to either of them, YEARS ago.  They refuse to act like mature adults, or when called on their bullshit they spin it.  I don't think even a merry-go-round has seen as much spinning as they can do.  I wish not to speak to them, I do find it entertaining/vent worthy once in a while to express my annoyance at the lies I hear down the line or vent about the complete aggravation I feel when my children are threatened. 

I also get quite annoyed when it is brought to my attention that there is someone posing online, using my information, pictures, etc for attempted vulgar means.  Such as showcased by this:

Not only is my age blatantly wrong, as I won't be 30 for another almost 6 weeks, but the weight listed is grossly inflated and my name is butchered...and then they start retweeting my stuff, after going down my following/follower list, thinking that no one is going to notice or question me directly about it.  Seriously, how stupid and desperate can someone actually be?

And then we get this stunning example of the newest stalking/harassing attempt:
ANOTHER new account she'd created within hours of the previous account being suspended.

Back on the 16th of March I'd asked the officer handling this harassment case to file the necessary paperwork for a 'do not contact' order.  It was not even a week later when the new round of harassment started.  Not only with new Twitter accounts, but they've even employed my mother-in-law to call & berate my husband over us having online accounts, over how my husband can do so much more/better than what he's doing now, and even tried to talk him into moving out to Arizona, because apparently she's going to be moving out there or some shit.  Yea, I heard that line 4 years ago.

Of course the blue waffle carrier has deleted the first two accounts I posted screen shots of, the third account has been suspended until further notice, and this new account may very well be on it's way to be suspended as well.  I'm sure by the time I log back on again, sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening she'll have another new account or will even post some anonymous comment here, since she stalks my account & my blog.  But I'm done.  I'm not going to bother again with changing accounts, emails, URLs, and the like.  I don't have the time or energy to even bother anymore.  I have a business that is taking off.  I go to school fulltime.  I have two children that I adore.  As well as a husband that works many long hours that I enjoy spending time with, whether it be face to face or sitting beside each other on the couch as we tweet with each other & our Twitter Family in the Twitterverse.  We also have a lovely large group of friends with families we enjoy spending time with as if we've always been a part of the family.  I have a very rich & full life that I enjoy expanding everyday, I don't have the luxury of sitting around for hours on end stalking folks, their acquaintances, etc.

KT - if it really upsets you to see ANYTHING at all from either Brian or myself, get off your ass, go get a job, find something actually productive for once to do with your life besides burdening the system and stalking us to find something to be upset about.  You'll live a much longer, healthier, happier life if you live one that doesn't resolve around us & our happiness that makes you so utterly miserable.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Stalker & Troll Warning

I hate to bring drama into the public, but it seems that I have a stalker troll who is trying to impersonate me/my business. Please be aware that I am NOT changing ANY of my contact information. I am NOT creating a new page, my blog is not changing. Or anything else of this nature. If you do happen to be approached by someone that seems to be me do NOT engage them directly, just report/block or ask me directly.

Thank you,

Stephanie Bonds

Saturday, March 17, 2012


They can be great attributes to a family...or they can be a royal pain in the ass to all in the family.

I have quite a few sisters-in-law.  I'm married now for the 3rd time.  Over the course of the last 13 years that has netted me 20 or 30 sisters-in-law.

My late-husband had two sisters and a married brother - so three right there.
My ex-husband had at least 7 sisters and at least as many married brothers - so we'll say an additional 14 right there.
My current husband only has one brother; but that brother has been married 5 times, so add another 5.

If you're keeping count that's at least 22 women who technically have had the title of sister-in-law in my life.

BUT that's not it.

I also have two brothers and a sister.

One brother has 7 baby mommas; the other has 2 baby mommas; my sister's husband has a sister or two.

So that puts up to over 32 'technical' sisters-in-law over the last 13 years of my life....the number might actually be closer to 50, but I don't remember exactly for sure how many siblings my ex-husband had or how many siblings everyone and/or their spouses have.

Then of course there are some friends that my husband or I have accumulated over the years that we consider to be as close as siblings, so their spouses also in this line-up...and both of our parents have remarried at least once, to folks who also had lets round out the number to say there are potentially about 75 women who in some way shape or form could be considered my sister-in-law

Of these nearly 75 women there are strippers, methheads, a dance instructor with a affluent company in Los Angeles, a beautician, a few whores, a U.S. Marine, a painter, an elementary school teacher, a U.S. Congresswoman, drama queens, career welfare child bearers, home schooling moms, some with no children, some with as many as 8 children, lawyers, a microbiologist, nurses, a medical doctor, a building engineer, and that's just what I can think of off the top of my head.  Some know who fathered their children, others don't.  Some have been married more than 20 years, others are still newly weds, and there's a small handful who are single.  Some have ran off without a word where no one knows if they or the children they ran off with are even alive, and we pray the next headline doesn't mention that she's killed her children because the state has caught up with her and tried to take the child(ren).  Others have children that makes you dumbfounded why the state hasn't taken them.  Some have battled cancer, some lost that battle.  Some have been abused by their spouse, others abuse their spouse.  Most live in this country, across at least 25 different states, possibly more...a few live overseas...two no longer even specify what state/county they live in due to their line of work.

So for some stalker idiot to see me mention "sister-in-law" and automatically assume it to be all about her she must live a very pathetic life. 

I like to think my life has been quite enriched by this great assortment.  And others just completely dumbfound me so therefore I try to make sense of it by blogging about it, see if others can make some sort of sense of it all...something that I'm not seeing.  Others I would love to talk about, but can't because it's too specific, even if I am vague.  Then of course there are those that due to whatever reason we no longer have contact...they cause no problems for me, I do the same to them.  I may bitch about them or refer to them from time to time in some of my blog posts, either here or on another blog elsewhere, but I know they're not spending their days searching for info about me or my family or finding a way to contact me/my family to harass us, so I don't worry about it.  There are a few that I know do religiously search to find my family and/or I.  I'm sure in the next year or so when my ex is back out of jail, again, I'll be facing more of the harassment again and it may involve my family having to move again to keep us safe.  Others I know are too chicken shit to grow-up, but they like to harass anyways.

So I'm done with the childish games.  I'm done changing blog URLs, done changing email addresses, done leaving groups, changing phone numbers, the like.  If they want to talk and be upset by what they read, then so be it.  I no longer care that what I may have to say upsets you.  If you harass me over what I have to say I'm taking legal action and you can get over yourself.  If you weren't looking to be upset by me you wouldn't have found a reason to become upset.  Now, go grow-up & tend to the life in front of you.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Heavy Heart, Heavy Mind

I don't know what to do.

See, a friend is getting married later this week and she really shouldn't.

In fact, she should have walked away from this dude MONTHS ago.

I've had this conversation now with her a countless number of times and every time it lead to her making the same conclusions.

Imagine my utter shock when she announced that she was going to MARRY this guy.

I've only spoken with her about her relationship with him via instant messaging and she's canceled the lunch dates, meet-ups, etc I've made with her to talk to her, in person, in relative private about her decision to continue this relationship.

I understand she's nearly 20 and all her friends are married & having babies and I understand the pressure that goes with that.  I've been there.

I've begged, pleaded, and reasoned with her.  I've never personally met her husband to be, I can only judge his character by what she's told me herself.

That worries me. DEEPLY.

I was her at that age.  Thought I was desperate to get married, start a family, and do all those things girls from less than ideal family situations dream about doing just to escape from the family we grew up with.

Fortunately I lived through that marriage.  I have a child who never got a chance to breathe in oxygen though because of that marriage.

I have scars, many of which have faded too well for my camera to pick up.  Deeper scars that a camera can capture, but they're not as obvious as the physical ones.

The three inch scar on my shoulder - a knife.
The dime shaped scars on my legs & arms - cigarette burns.
The six inch scar down my right shoulder & breast - a kitchen glass that had water spots.
The slight droop of my left cheek - a fist.
The numerous 1-2 inch lined scars on my forearms - defensive wounds against knives, broken plates, glasses, bottles.
The half-dollar shaped scar just above my belly button - a tire tool.

All permanent reminders that I once foolishly married a man that said he loved me.  A man that I had children with.  A man that I married because I thought I wanted what all my friends had and it wasn't happening quick enough for me.

Logical reasoning escaped me.  Every word of wisdom I'd ever been taught was found filed in an old dusty cabinet that was locked in a closet I'd forgotten about in my mind.

The relation did not start off so horribly though, no.  Any predator knows they have to lure in their prey.  He was very a creepy sort of way now that I think about it.  He was smooth.  He'd lure me in with tales of caring about me, give me small little gifts, but mostly attention.

Then he started making the accusations against me, doubting my loyalty to him.  So I'd push harder to prove just how loyal I was to him.  I checked in with him everytime I did anything. I got  a cell phone so he could call me at any time to check that I wasn't doing what he would think me to be doing.

He was sly.  It started subtly enough.  Just small things at first and just enough to make me push harder to try to win his complete approval.

He'd pulled some killer lines about how he's had horrible relationships, so that made it hard for him to trust any woman.  He would go on and on about how he felt the world would be a better place without him because he couldn't trust anyone.  So I'd work harder just to prove that there were good honest people in the world and that I was one of them.

He'd then make promises of a grand future and then rip them out from under me.  Only to turn around a few hours or days later and recant his withdrawal from me and promise me the world again.

I was weak and he knew it.  And he used it.

After a while my behaviors were not good enough for him, so I worked to improve them.  Ever careful not to do anything to upset him or have him voice his discontent with me.

He'd also throw in high praises of the things I took ultimate pride in or when I'd conform to his ideals about how I should be.  And then criticize me harshly if I did not meet expectations the next time around.

I never knew exactly where I stood with him.  That kept me weak.

I was almost 5 months pregnant with our first child together the first time he laid a hand on me.  By that time I already had a marriage commitment before him, our families, friends, and God.  He especially enjoyed throwing Bible constructions at me about how a real wife was supposed to be.

He had me isolated from friends and family as well by this time.  We'd moved 12 hours away from everyone I knew and then he refused to pay the phone bill and thought the internet was for nothing more than meeting people to go have sexual relationships with.  I was alone.  No phone, no internet, no friends, no family, just him.

I was trapped.

It was bad.

After 2 years of trying to do the "right wifely thing" I left.  I packed up my 13 month old son, some clothes for the two of us, and lived out of truck or acquaintances' couches and got where I am today:  In a lovely home, with a husband who loves, honors, respects, and adores me and a daughter added to the mix.  The road here was rough, but only for a little while, I'd say less than a year...the last 6 or 7 years have been great.  It is totally not worth the opinion of others to stay in a toxic relationship.  I've lost the relationships I'd had with many of my family members & very close friends.  But I have my life and the life of my children.  I've built new relationships with people and have grieved the loss of my past close relationships...neither feats that would have been possible if I was dead.

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her & a man who compliments her .... a man who spends money on her & a man who invests in her .... a man who views her as property & a man who views her properly ..... a man who lusts after her & a man who loves her ..... a man who believes he is God's gift to women & a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Blog of Updates?

Yea, that's what I'm going to chalk this up to for the time least until I decide otherwise sometime in the future.

I'm still hosting a fundraiser here for a friend, so that's kept me slightly busy, in addition to school, surgery, another possible surgery....

Seriously, check out the fundraiser & help a young mother out in her quest against cancer! the rest of it...

Brian's situation hasn't changed much.  Still working, still a lovely husband when he wants to be, awesome father more often.

Mikeal is doing well, but he did get caught cheating the other day at school.  Or rather he was caught helping someone else cheat.  One of his good buddies doesn't like to read & take tests, but was wanting the rewards associated with reading & taking tests over the books he read, so paid Mikeal to take the tests for him.  I'm hoping this is the only time he has to learn this lesson that helping someone cheats doesn't help them, it only hurts him & the person he thinks he's helping.  Otherwise, he's just a normal pre-teen boy hell bent on driving me up a wall.

Mikaila is doing well, also.  She's still a spry thing with a bunch of energy and fun!  She's making great progress with her speech and has started physical therapy to work on balance issues that stemmed from the inner ear crap of the first few years of her life.

I'm doing okay, actually, better than I have in at least 20 years.  I had sinus surgery on the 28th of February and I can honestly say I noticed a HUGE improvement in my breathing & smelling abilities on the way home from the outpatient procedure. After spending a few days totally doped up on pain meds & sleeping through the greatest bit of the pain I was up & around on day 4 cleaning the house & taking care of things that hadn't been taken care of during my period of basic unconsciousness.  I'm a week out from surgery & went to my post-surgery follow-up appointment this morning where my lovely ENT (he's also easy on the eyes) irrigated my nose - which involved taking a high powered suction hose thing with a metal end to scrape off all clots & scabs that had formed.  Oh that hurt like a SONOFABITCH...but I lived...and then almost 8hrs later Brian got home from work & I could take a pain pill.  YAY!

But the results of the surgery have been AWESOME!  I can wake up breathing, I can smell things, my head doesn't feel constantly under pressure, I can hear a bit better, things taste better, or are more flavorful, I don't wake up coughing & gagging on post-nasal drip crap, it is just awesome!  I even had the unusual benefit of it looking like I had cosmetic surgery on my face to widen my eyes & thin my nose & cheeks.  Don't believe me...check out these pictures:

The first one was taken a week or so before I had my sinus surgery & it was a 'good' day.  Note the squinty eyes, puffy cheeks, swollen-ish nose.  That was normal for me on an every day basis.  Most days it was worse, but you get the idea.  The second picture I took of myself on day 4 after the surgery.  I still had a little bit of swelling & puffiness from the surgery itself & a total lack of sleep, but you can see my eyes, my cheeks aren't as puffy, my nose is a bit skinnier, the works.  I totally say that if you suffer from chronic sinus issues that are ruled as not being caused by the allergist told me last year that I have ZERO allergies...and absolutely nothing seems to give you relief - seriously, the ONLY thing that gave me even a little bit of relief from the congestion was Sudafed & in this area Sudafed is like platinum - everyone buys it as soon as the shipment comes in to sell for at least $50 a box to the meth cooks - I was quite often without.  In two years I've been able to score one whole box and that's been it.

But I love it.  The headache sucks & the bleeding sucks.  The feeling that someone has smacked me with a baseball bat, repeatedly, also sucks.  BUT I can breathe, I no longer wake up gagging & puking, I smell things, taste things, the works...kinda amazed at the things persons without sinus issues take for granted.