Monday, August 31, 2009

House Shopping Trials and Tribulations...

So, as I get more and more informed on this whole house hunting/buying process goes the more frustrated I get.

See, I've lived fairly debt free for 90% of my adult life, and if I've ever gotten a loan for something I've paid it off ASAP, often within just a couple of months, thus closing the account in the process. Well, now I'm 27 years old, no credit cards, no car loans, nothing really in those least not anything that they "count". Currently owning two vehicles, in good/like new condition, less than 10 years old, completely paid off, does nothing to help my case. Having phone, internet, & electric bills all paid, not late even once in two years, with the same company, does not count. Doing rent to own on this house we're in currently, having been here for 18 months, not one single late payment, does not count. Basically a bank/lender wants to see you have DEBT that you are currently paying on, and have been paying on for 13+ months, every year that you go thru your adult life without "building credit" ie having debt, counts DRASTICALLY against you. So from the things we've learned thru this process we are now paying a bank to hold onto our money and limit our access to our own money, we are now paying some of our bills with the debit card/checks, at a slightly higher rate (1-3% higher for paying such ways) and the like, in an effort to show that we're capable of paying our bills.

All I have to say about that is THANK YOU to the irresponsible people who have spent the last few years lying about their incomes, job histories, residency, etc in an effort to get into a house, run up credit card debt, and the works, all in an effort to keep up with a lifestyle WAY out of their league.

So anyways, we're out of the option of going thru a bank to get a traditional home loan, for a minimum of 13 months while we get "secured" loans (basically you give the bank/credit union $100, they'll give you a $100 loan, for 13 months, that you have to pay interest on, and make a monthly payment on every month, until its "paid-off" on the 13th month) Also while we "build a paper trail" by paying everything with checks and debit cards, so that there is "proof" that we make these payments every month. We could get a co-signer, but there's only been one person that's "agreed" to co-sign for us, that meets the bank's requirements, and I'm sorry, I'm not too terribly fond of this person (22y/o female blondie of the recent several months of drama between Brian and I).

But then I remembered about another gentleman who deals in mobile homes. My mom rented from him for a number of years, I, too, rented from him back several years ago, but I refrain from bringing that up to him, as it was involved with a LOT of drama with my XH & brother & his babies' momma....but he really liked my mom, and he's of the notion that because my mom dealt well with him she taught her kids the same, he's also familiar with my Granny & Papa, from when they were alive, so where he might not remember me all that much, he really has a lot of respect for all of them. :) :heart: This tidbit of strategically dropped information (in all fairness he asked if we were from around here, the like, so I divulged just enough information in a way that gave him approval thru them ;) ) Anyways, he has a bit of land just at the edge of town, tucked in back off any main road, where he's able to put up double wide trailer houses. Now he's 65+ years old, and is really trying to get out of this business so that he can retire, so doesn't really do any financing himself anymore..according to his step-son last week he's only financed one person in the last two years, he's just tired of "dealing" with folks not paying what they agreed to pay and the works.

So we went into him today, explained out situation with our lack of credit history, etc...He was very upfront with us, is going to look into what he's able to get his hands on, in our reasonable price range, compared with what its going to cost him, to finance us, and we worked out a reasonable deal of what he's going to look for. Now it's almost guaranteed that he can get us into a repo'ed double wide mobile home, and he'll get it set up for us. He's going to review our credit reports for himself...which I had copies of from our recent bank dealings, so have already saved him the initial $30 charge for that. We also shared with him the fact that if he finds something he doesn't have to worry about appliances, as we already own most the appliances we need anyways, if the house has gas hook-ups and he is worried about the cost of a propane tank I have a 250 gallon one at my potential disposal as well, so again, saving him $1,000-6,000 right there as well off the costs, and assured him that if the house is structurally and electrically sound we can deal with cosmetic issues ourselves, so again, saving him money there, money he'd front for the work and materials to fix it up.

I'm hoping we made a good enough impression on him that he does help us out with the financing aspect and maybe by the end of the year we'll be able to move into a bigger, nicer house where we're not having to pay to have a well re-dug, roof redone, electrical work done properly, AND we'll be off this blasted highway. The "lots" of land that he has to put houses on are 1+ acres each, we're hoping to get two lots of land, so 2 acres, and in the next 5 years or so that bit of properties are going to be annexed into the city, thus eliminating our need to rely on well water and have city water, which is quite a bit cheaper and more reliable than having a well, even a new one.

I know I did a lot of rambling, but I have a pretty good feeling about this and am REALLY hoping this comes thru for us! :pray:

Another Note To Self/Adoring Public ..LOL

Health Care and my personal take of what the CEO of Whole Foods had brought up the other day, that was broadcast on the evening news....I have a bit of research to do first, plus a house to attempt to buy in the morning, and it's way after my bedtime at this time, but I do feel the guy hit the nail squarely on the head. I wanted to add in my personal experience with this particular "pricing" of doctors, and shopping around, in contrast with "insurance" costs.

The cusp of my personal experience :

My personal care provider charges me, a cash paying patient, with no insurance, a whole $55-70 per visit to see him, $25-55 to see his NP. Now, if I had insurance I have a guaranteed minimum co-pay of around $20-40 per visit...but here's the Dr who only charges me, a cash patient, $55 for a visit, will charge the insurance company a MINIMUM of $150 for the exact same visit. And we wonder why I don't pay for insurance? Over the course of a year I pay roughly 75% LESS for my medical care than I would JUST paying for the insurance. I'll expand on this at another time.

Thank you Heather for reminding me, however unintentionally.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Reminder to Self...or You, my Adoring Audience.


I must remember to find some time to blog about :

**A charming "friend" who informed me that her daughter is a cheerleader, therefore she doesn't have to study...this was mentioned while I was letting Mikeal know about the new rules starting on Monday - that he's to write his spelling words 5 times each night and the definition on Mondays. Now I know Mikeal can spell these words without a single issue...his handwriting though needs just a little bit of improvement, IMO, and it'll do him well to start learning how to use a dictionary and the different meanings of the words....but anyways, whole rant about the "cheerleader" mentality of things, especially around these parts....

**"Best" Friends, of the opposite sex, while you're married...

**Ex-Husband and why he's the ex, in addition to the reasons why I'd rather he rot in jail than actually pay a dime of child support.

**Small rant about infomercials selling some product that's supposed to boost your vocabulary & grammar skills, as the folks in the commercial stutter and stammer over their practiced lines.

**I must also remember to keep a better account of the drama that is consistent with my neighbors. ...especially since I haven't picked a single tomato in over a week, where I was getting 5-10 a DAY off my plants, I can go check for tomatoes, have a few just almost ready, and the next day there are none.

**Also included with the update on the neighbor drama - the 16y/o now has a car, is getting ready to get his license...I don't even want to think about it...Its not a license to have "fun" ...its a license to operate a lethal weapon,. trust me I know, I know more people to of died from a car wreck than have died from any other reason, combined...that includes my 77 year old grandma who was making a left hand turn into church when an idiot jerk in a hurry decided to pass her, on the left, going over 60mph.

**Another bit about the first week of school...drama drama...

**Also I must update you about everything that went on this month in regards to attempting to buy that house, everything else that went on, and plans for this upcoming month.

This blog entry is a public service announcement to those of you who read my blog and might wonder what's up with me not posting anything, or the post being quick adn to the point, with a bit of vagueness to them....quite simply, I've been sucked into Facecrack busy or been avoiding trying to think too much on such things hence the getting sucked into Facecrack.

So that's that. Not sure when I'll get to it...Sunday I have to go get laundry done, will be at my mom's for a decent chunk of the day doing that. Monday I'm going to be talking to a guy about buying one of his houses off of him and what we're able to work out with'll qualify better than the other one, pricier, but also BRAND NEW, never lived in, and bigger!...and still affordable to us, but also comes with a touch of land and is in the same school district Mikeal is in currently, so I don't have to deal with switching schools if we do get this place. Tuesday I have grandiose plans of getting my bedroom redone...well arranged differently well as grocery shopping - Brian's off work, so I should be able to go all by myself - WOOT!

I'll shoot for Wednesday to get started on something of this list. LOL Just don't hold your breath.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Controlling, Selfish Brat.

That's what I am.

Outside of that I'm just wrong, everything I feel, think, and believe is wrong.

I'd elaborate, but right now I don't have time. I have to get to bed because I have to get up early with the kids. Then I have to finish getting their clothes put away. Make the beds that didn't get made because I was out until midnight trying to get all the laundry washed, at my mom's, one load at a time, including the bedding, so that I didn't have to spend $50 just to wash it all at the laundromat. I also have to get the house cleaned up again, because apparently I'm also too lazy to pick up after my kids....its really not that bad, I spilled coffee this morning so the kitchen floor has a few sticky spots, there's a few toys in the living room, and it needs to be vacuumed. I'm also going to try to see about having my mom come out tomorrow to watch the kids for me in the house so I can get the lawn mowed, like I try to do on days I'm able to while my darling husband is at work, so he doesn't have to do much on his rare days off. Only reason I'm still up right now is I had some washed loads of laundry to get dried, didn't want them to start stinking overnight, but the last load is in the dryer, and its mainly just socks and underwear, so wrinkling isn't that big of an issue. Tomorrow I'll also be attempting to starch and iron darling husband's work shirts.

So yea, not sure yet when I'll have time to sit down and actually type out anything, just wanted it to be known that I'm a controlling selfish brat who sits on the computer all day, while doing nothing worthwhile.

Friday, August 14, 2009

I'm running away


Up late last night because Mikaila just wanted to scream until about 1am...

Up early this morning because I had to get Mikeal off to school, because Brian was leaving out early for a side job...

Stayed up and out of bed early this morning because Mikaila woke up 3 hours earlier than "normal"

Cleaned the bathroom - a certain someone decided she'd climb OVER the barrier to that part of the house, first dumped the dog food, then dumped the water bowl onto the food....

Did the dishes - same certain someone decided to write on the walls in the living room with an ink pen she found...again..

Got the laundry room cleaned up, including changing out the litter in the litter box...about an hour later certain someone, whom I thought had laid herself down for a nap, (she does that once in a while & all the signs were there that she was doing it again) climbs up onto a tote box, then onto the dryer, to get to the cat food bag (that I JUST opened this morning) and dumps it all over the floor, I was outside for a minute, on the phone with my mom, so didn't "hear" it spill... I came in, went back to check on her...was when I noticed the mess. She was in the ending process of dumping the litter box, all over the floor, it sits on the desk in there, behind a TV...

Get Certain Miss Someone down for a nap - she actually goes right to sleep - SCORE for me!

I get the laundry room mess cleaned up, get most of the writing off the walls in the living room, get the bathroom floor cleaned...don't quite around to scrubbing the kitchen floor because I get a phone call.

Turns out yesterday I fought with the wrong company - for almost 3 hours over my payment arrangements and the fact the payment was marked "Return to Sender" - their stake on the matter was that they don't accept payment arrangements - only payments in full - oh I was a pissed puppy. I've only been dealing with this stupid company since September over these bills, bills that were supposed to of been covered by the insurance company of the gal who'd hit me.... Anyways, the phone call today, from company I've been trying to send these payments to, about the fact that I told them two weeks ago I was sending out payment and they haven't gotten it, if I don't keep up my end of the bargain they're going to take me to court and garnish MY paycheck (fat chance on that happening)...Then I realize my mistake. I was mailing the payment to the right PO Box, company starts with the same letter...just had the company name wrong, as well as city, state, ZIP... OY! Ok, no biggie, told her the deal, that I'll get this money order redone, send it out to her on Monday, when the Post Office is open again...

Turn around and realize I forgot to set anything out for dinner...

Mikaila gets up from her nap, less than 15 minutes later she's handing me a handful of poo, from the pull-up. Get her in the tub...Mikeal gets home from school.

Throw some bleach into the tub after I get Mikaila out, throw in some of their toys that now need to be cleaned.

Certain miss someone throws a kitten into the tub - where she came from I have no idea, I swear she's learning some sort of Houdini stuff! Kitten runs out of tub slinging bleach water everywhere...bleach spots are now on two of my NEW bath towels, the bathroom rug, and the cloth part of my shower curtain.

Miss Someone spots her brother, goes off to play with him for a moment... Until he reminds me of his earned 30 minutes of video games...

Certain Someone gets AWFULLY quiet...FAST.

Turn the corner from the living room to the kitchen...and there she sits..."washing" my kitchen floor with a 5 lb bag of all purpose flour...a brand new bag of it...that was in my cupboard, BEHIND the "childproof" latches, not just one, but TWO different types of latches on that door....


Houdini I tell you...

Brian leaves for work at 7am tomorrow and should be home around 9pm. At this time I think he's off work on Sunday...I'm running away...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Things I have Learned

while going through attempting to buy this house.

1) Most mortgage companies will not even touch the house if the asking amount of the loan is less than $50,000 - it does not matter what type of home it is, how much it is worth, etc. If you want less than $50,000 the mortgage company will likely not touch it.

2) Being debt free, with all bills paid early/on time, time at job/residence, does not count anymore than if you offer the banker a sucker...the part that screws you - the living debt free.

3) EVERYTHING requires a paper trail. This does not mean just receipts, but also canceled checks, money orders, or credit card statements. Paying something with cash and getting a receipt does not count anymore.

4) In order to GET credit one must first HAVE ESTABLISHED credit.

5) If you become divorced and in your divorce decree it states that your ex-spouse is responsibly for such and such debt, but does not take care of that debt, you are still responsible for it, if you take care of such things and try to sue your ex-spouse for the amount you paid to take care of it you must be able to prove without a doubt that it was you indeed who took care of such things and not your ex. Paying in cash does not count, paying in money orders do not count, only if you pay a LAWYER to go through to pay off these things, so as to have proof that you took care of these things, but ex is supposed to take care of it - basically it looks good on the paper, but if the ex is an asshole you're still screwed.

6) Having collateral that is worth more than the loan you're asking for does not mean anything either. OK, it might give you one or two credits in your favor, but not really, unless you have at least a 13 month paper trail on those items of collateral that you've been paying long term on them - again, a cash receipt does not count.

Basically to sum it up, living responsibly, with the idea to not spend more money than is necessary, ie not paying interest or fees, is the best way to screw yourself. The banks and financial institutions all want your money, if you don't spend roughly 5-20% of your yearly income on paying these fees and interest they're not going to do business with you, period - the less money you use from the financial institutions the higher your percentage. Don't believe me? Just think long and hard about it.

Many of these rules and regulations have been put in place over the last year since all the collapse of everything - many people were falsifying information in order to get this loan that they weren't able to responsibly take care of, so foreclosure rates rose, and then blamed it on the mortgage companies, that they made it "too easy" for one to get a loan. Now they've tightened up - TIGHT - making it very annoying/difficult for someone like my husband and myself to be able to even get a piddly $12,000 loan for a house.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Busy Month Just got Busier....

It would appear that Brian has found a house to BUY. The asking price is about 1/4 of the price of this house, it has one more bedroom than this place have, and an extra FULL bath. The square footage is about double of this place, although the yard is likely about half of what we have now. But it gets better.

The master bath has a 4 person jacuzzi garden tub, separate shower stall, two sinks - one for Brian to have his nasty facial and head fuzz in and then my own clean sink - :giggle: ;) (He's standing over my shoulder.) It also has a walk-in closet so that he can hang all his 500 shirts in, and just as many pairs of pants in that he can't wear anymore because they're all about 10 sizes too BIG - bastard :giggle: - . The master bedroom is about the size of our current living room AND dining room AND kitchen. ...Our current "master bedroom" has enough room to put our queen size bed in it and a dresser, with just enough room to walk around the two - you have to move the bed to close the door, and no door on the closet because you wouldn't be able to open it even if there was one. :roll:

The kitchen is HUGE - it also comes with a dishwasher, island, and a 6ft (or so) bay window at the end. :cool: Oh, and they JUST put in brand new laminate hardwood floors in there.

For another $500 they'll leave the washer and dryer in there - the house has city utilities, so no more of this going to go do laundry at my mom's house when I run out of clothes :yahoo: because our private well can't keep up with a washer - or much of anything really. :roll:

Between the other two bedrooms is another full bath, both bedrooms have full size closets, there's a linen closet in that hall, as well as the washer and dryer hook-ups.

It has a full covered porch out front and a nice sized deck out back. There's also a shed in the back for storage.

I haven't gotten to go look at it, Brian's taking me on Monday to go look at it before he goes into work - the wife that owns it wants a bit of time to get it cleaned up - they have two young kids - so we know how that can go. ;)

They're basically just wanting to get out from under the house as he's found work in another town and they're having to sell quickly. Asking price you wonder? If we have them leave the washer and dryer ...which I'm planning on doing as I've given away the washer that goes with my dryer...the TOTAL asking price is : :shock: :shock: :shock: $9,500.00 Yes, Nine thousand five hundred dollars - TOTAL. :shock: :shock:

Yea, so it looks like I get to add to this month's "to-do list" getting a bank loan, closing, etc etc etc then packing, etc etc etc and then moving sometime next month.

OH ! Other bonuses that come with buying this house - its only .9 miles (that's POINT 9 miles, as in less than one mile) from where Brian works, instead of the 30 he drives now, one way. It's about 2.5 miles from the Super Wal-Mart - the one I have to drive to do any "real" shopping. And there are things to do all over the place - water park, actual city park, instead of the elementary school playground, tons of different little shops, the dance studio & gymnastics stadium is there, there's a gym right down the road, :blah:

I'm a bit excited. Hoping that its as grand as he's making it out to be, the works....for now I'm not going to tell him yes. And he's being a pain by standing over my shoulder. :lol: Brian : yes i did.. :D .....Me : stand over her shoulder is the "yes I did" rest of the sentence...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Busy Month

Oh Boy!

My calender of events for this month is starting to look like a bunch of chickens have been marking all over it -

First I write down what bills are due by which paycheck - being sure to write down not just the amount, but also what. This takes up roughly two days of the month, covered in chicken scratches.

Then I jot in known events - such as this month we have Mikeal's 7th birthday on the 26th. School also starts on the 12th - another two days filled in.

Because Mikeal's birthday and school starting are both in the same month this allows me the opportunity to go over with his doctor for both his well-check up and any concerns that might of come up over the summer to be looked into before school starts. Then there's his yearly eye exam and a dentist appointment, if I can find a dentist in the area that even has an opening before Christmas that also accepts the insurance that he has....I really don't like driving two hours one way to take him to the dentist for a 10 minute look over and he send us back on our way, two hours back home - ugh. This doesn't stop me, but it sure doesn't make the drive pleasant, and it never seems to work out that they can see both the kids on the same day and myself.

Then there's a couple of court related appointments.

One day for child support, which coincides with the same day that Mikeal's eye doctor had an opening this month... A pre-hearing appointment with my child support case worker to go over the final details of what we're hoping to be able to accomplish at this hearing. (Namely have the bastard put back in jail)

Then there's the re-certification for the kids' insurance - had to be rescheduled for later in the month instead of tomorrow because someone hasn't put his pay stubs where they are supposed to go each pay period - either into my hand or the filing cabinet...

Then of course there are those notes I have to write to myself to know what's going on in Brian's life so that I don't get bent out of shape because 6 months ago he told me that he was going to be doing XYZ on this day - or even yesterday he made brief mention about having to do something, so that his action this morning of just leaving out the door without an explanation or "Love ya hun, I'm going *here* be back around *this time*" is completely my fault that I don't know what's going on, therefore get upset that as I'm waking up, the phone rings, they ask for him, he talks for a minute, next thing I know he's gone. - Yea, great way to calm your already insecure wife's insecurities -

Then there are the activities going on in the community that I try to involve my kids in....of course my husband always has to work those days, so is unable to join us for anything, doesn't matter that I asked him a year ago to request off this day - then gave regular reminders to make sure he was going to be off this day - Guess what, he's not marked on the calender at work to be off this day, so he has to work.

Then there are my scheduled volunteer days that I must mark so that I don't lose track of where and when I'm supposed to be different places.

And because I write all these notes on my calender I'm some sort of OCD control freak ...

I blame it on the fact if I don't mark it ASAP I may forget, thus creating another fight over my ignorance of things both going on, that have gone on, or that are going on in the future, because we all know the man is right and knows everything, because he can remember exactly how many times I've said a certain phrase in the 5 years we've been together.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


When most people think of someone having arthritis they think of older ones, those with deep laugh lines, gray hair, of retirement age...very, VERY rarely do they ever think about someone who's just barely starting to show any age...not even in her 30s, still just a pup...not a gray hair, that will be mentioned - honestly I haven't noticed any, Brian may tease, but until I notice them, they don't count.

I wasn't even in my 20s yet when I was first "suspected" of having arthritis by a doctor. Of course in those days there wasn't much my doctor didn't find wrong with me - ulcers, a heart condition, arthritis, depression, I don't even remember what all I was both diagnosed with or treated for. Every couple of weeks I'd go in for my follow-up over some new med he'd given me and he'd change my diagnosis & drugs. In the end I just turned out to be pregnant - thus accounting for the heart murmur, mood swings, and stomach issues, maybe a few other things in there too, but I honestly lost count. The only thing that I was diagnosed with that was not predominately a result of my pregnancy was the arthritis.

I was 13 when I fell off the roof of the barn, tons of bruising and swelling, but otherwise I'd be alright, no stitches, no broken bones...but due to the swelling there was a good chance I'd develop arthritis in my neck and back. When I was 15 I was assisting with hauling brush off of a tree that was laid across the ground, my foot became caught under the tree when it rolled and dropped, from about 2 feet off the ground - the resulting severe swelling and pulled tendons and ligaments gave way to the onset of more arthritis to set in. Age 17 I slammed a minivan into a tree at speeds in excess of 60mph, causing further issues with my back, shoulders, left knee and hip. Barely a year later I fell down a steep flight of stairs, with the aid of a cat racing up the stairs, tore the ligaments and tendons in my left shoulder, dislocated my left hip, in addition to other scrapes and bruises. It likely didn't help many matter that for my early 20s I was married to a completely abusive asshole.

So, here I sit, just barely 27 years old, and there are many times throughout the day I can barely stand on my own two feet and be able to trust them to keep me standing, I stay in constant fear that they're going to turn on me and just throw me into the floor, or that the pain will just be too much to bear. I fear picking up my daughter because I know that at any time I'll lose use of my hands and arms. I am thankful for the fact that my right side is a bit more stable than the left side, but with the right side often having to pull double duty I'm afraid it's going to catch up twice as fast.

I am no longer able to write like I used to, it used to be nothing for me to hand write a small book, or even draw a complete picture book for my son...nowadays, I'm lucky if I can I get through with writing the grocery list without my hands cramping. Typing isn't as hard on me as it really doesn't involve a lot, and when worse comes to worse I still know how to just peck at the keys I want, but it's not the same.

It sucks, severely. The different weather fronts severely affect me, to the point even that I am often unable to sleep or just bite my lip hard to try to deflect the actual pain. It just makes it really hard to do the things I want to do and know it affects more than I want to admit it does. *sigh*