Sunday, March 25, 2012

You want truth?

So apparently my stalker is claiming that she's going to start a blog of truths about 'her husband's trailer park family' ...being as it is my husband & I are the objects of her blue waffle obsession, so I thought I'd beat her to the punch.

I've only ever once actually lived in a trailer park...for about 2 months, when I was homeless, with a toddler.  You can read through my blog, or search homeless in here,  you can see the story for yourself, although I'm quite sure I didn't list every couch I slept on during that time.

I've done drugs, quite the colorful variety of drugs, didn't even start though until my son was about 14 months old, life spiraled out of control for me, it took me about 6-8 months before I got myself straightened out & sobered up.  Now I just drink once in a while.  I've had one bottle of wine in my fridge now for at least 6 months, another bottle now for almost 2 months, Brian has a bottle of Scotch that's had maybe 3 shots taken out of it since January, and we've had a 6 pack in the fridge, minus 2 bottles, of Guiness, for almost a month now.  In our 4.5 years of marriage & in the 8 years we've known each other we've been out to a bar or club maybe 6 times, not too sure if that number isn't lower.

Lets see...
As far as where I've lived all my life, started off bouncing around Naval bases on the East coast.  Then settled into a modest house my dad build himself on a 10 acre farm.  My Granny's health started declining, so we packed up & moved from Arkansas to Oklahoma, on their farm of about 10 acres, there were two houses on that property, one 5 bedrooms, that we eventually made into just 4 bedrooms to enlarge the living room, and a 3 bedroom place.  After that  I moved out into an apartment room in a lovely lady's house, spent some time living on a HUGE 300,000+ acre Ranch in Montana, a lovely orchard/former plantation in Georgia, corn fields family farm of generations in Iowa, and spent some time with friends in NYC after 9/11/01 occured.  I then got married & bounced around in another few apartments as my ex husband's job would transfer us back & forth across the country.  I left him after about 2years, spent about 6 months bouncing around couches & vehicles, then moved into a VERY lovely home in the suburbs of Austin, TX, where I then met my husband, who was living in an apartment, lived there for a while before moving back to my momma's house to get my divorce, child custody, etc stuff all 100% done & over with.  She lives in what was once a one bedroom tiny trailer house, but has been modified & built onto to now include a large living room & two decent sized bedrooms, but also set far enough out to where they can't even see their neighbors' houses until the winter when  all the trees are bare, then the houses are nothing more than a few lights back in the woods.  With my divorce & custody issues taken care of I moved back to Texas, got my own apartment, had a decent job that I really loved, as the assistant manager of a convenience store, settled into a life there.  A few months later Brian & I ran back into each other without having had any contact whatsoever in well over a year, our feelings were just as strong as they'd been early in our relationship two years before, so we gave it another go.  Within a few months he asked me to marry him & almost immediately after we were expecting Mikaila.  I started having problems in my pregnancy & Brian wasn't yet cleared to go back to work after a brief hospital stay, so I talked with my apartment manager, she agreed to let me out of my lease as it was easy to re-rent my apartment, being it was a brand new complex, the apartments were HUGE (mine was 1200 sqft, 2bdrm, 2 bath, washer & dryer hook-ups, all appliances, except W/D included, HUGE closets - OH I loved that apartment, and the rent was only $650 a month!  A TOTAL steal!  And it was in one of the best school districts of the Austin, TX suburbs.  I wasn't doing too bad for myself, in my opinion, for having only been 24 at the time I moved in, having gone through a divorce, not getting child support, with my ex being back in prison again, and a by then 4 year old in tow, even paid for mine & Mikeal's health insurance (THANK GOD we are both quite healthy individuals).

So anyways, I started having numerous 'unknown' problems with my pregnancy, Brian wasn't released to go back to work in the state of Texas (their background checks are great for listing even medical reasons for lay-offs or unemployment statuses) since we couldn't make a living on Brian not working & me being on modified bedrest we made the heartbreaking decision to move to Oklahoma, where my mom had offered to let us stay there for a few months, no longer.  My new OB doc was actually the doc I'd seen since I was a teenager, minus a few years, & had also treated my entire family, being a family doctor, he diagnosed me quickly as having stomach ulcers for the basis of many of my issues, started me on a medication, within a few hours I was enjoying being pregnant for the first time in 22 weeks.

Brian said "screw it" to getting medically released since most places in Oklahoma don't even bother with any sort of check, whatsoever, Brian landed a job within a week, within two weeks he had a job he really enjoyed.  My mom's cousin-in-law had a small basically abandoned trailer house, tucked off back in the woods, that needed about $200 in repairs to be 'good enough' that he'd rent to us for only $150 a month, to help us get some cash in our pockets to move out into a better place.  During the last two months of my pregnancy I worked to get it cleaned up, floors fixed, new water pipes ran throughout the whole thing, the water heater fixed, the gas line fixed - I did have the help of a family friend who is a skilled tradesman, and Brian worked 40-50 hrs a week plus assisted my step-dad in cutting, hauling, & splitting wood to sell.

We lived in that tiny place from Dec 11-March 31 & moved into a similar sized place, but a solid house, on a concrete foundation.  And life was well enough.  It was just a 2bedroom place that consisted of maybe 900sq ft, but we were on a rent to own contract and 100% free to make any additions or modifications to it that we wanted, so home ownership without a bank & without interest.  We could have had it paid off in as little as 5 years.  We lived there for 2 years & had enough of the neighbors & the owner of the property.  The neighbors were contrary white trash who liked to break into our home when we'd go out, siphon gas out of our vehicles, leave their trash lying around & it'd collect in our yard since we had a fence along the one side, and ugh it was annoying living next to them.  The owners of our place showed up at our door at 6am, after Brian had been off work for two DAYS - OMG! - from an injury he'd sustained.  He had a few weeks of vacation saved up, a few weeks of Sick Leave accrued, and then since the injury was work related he could have also gone for worker's comp if need be - it was just shin splints & he was taking about a week of paid leave off from work.  Besides, we'd gotten out income tax refund back that same day & planned on going to the bank that very afternoon to get a traditional home loan on the place & pay off the remaining balance that we owed the owners.  Doesn't it suck for them that due to their actions that morning we said screw it, I sent out an email to a friend in Tennessee that I knew had some rent houses, she had one coming open by the end of the month, so Brian put in to take off the entire month, with pay, put in for a job transfer out to Tennessee, and after a court hearing at the end of the month with my ex about child support & all that we in we were on the road within an hour of being done with court.

Now we live in a very lovely house with 3 levels to it, if you count the garage basement, that technically has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, three living areas, a dining room, full kitchen, on an acre of land, surrounded by quiet, awesome neighbors, fields, & woods.  The school system is awesome, especially when compared to Oklahoma schools & our rent, to date, is paid up, in full, through the end of May, at this time.  If all goes well next week it'll be paid up until the end of August, and then won't be technically due again until September, while in the meantime we just continue to pay in advance.  The house is an older farm house, but in the last year a new roof, new windows, & new siding have been put up/in.  We're getting a whole new CH/A unit some time soon, we've put up new ceiling fans in 3 of the 4 rooms that need them, and I'm slowly, but surely getting 50 years of layers of paint stripped from all the old woodwork in the house & repainting.  IF all goes well enough in the next week or so we'll be working to also strip, sand, & refinish all the wood floors in here.

Brian also just got a promotion at work to assistant manager, where he not only gets a modest raise, but he also has more opportunities for overtime & really nice bonuses.  Only once during the last 5 years of us living on our own as ANYTHING been turned off & that was earlier this year because I'd totally spaced on paying the water bill one month...our water was off for about 4 hours, as the meter crew took that long to get back around to us & didn't even bother with knocking on my door to let me know they were turning it off, not even sure I'd gotten a cut-off notice.  We also own both of our vehicles 100%, but they are two of only about 8 we've owned 100% in the last 5 years - we get tired of them, or have a different need, or come across a better value, or someone in more need than we have and sell or trade off.

The kids, Brian, & myself all have good health.  Mikaila went through a rough patch with being able to hear/talk, but after getting a competent doctor the issue was found & corrected.  Two years ago she had almost no vocabulary, 6 months ago it was still quite limited, but since her last surgery there was an IMMEDIATE noticeable improvement & with continued speech therapy she's on par to be equal to her Kindergarten counterparts by the time she starts in about 18 months, therefore no longer requiring any additional therapies.  Her balance & large muscle motor skills were also affected by the lack of hearing/fluid retention on her eardrums so she is starting physical therapy to train her body to react normally and all that.  Mikeal is excelling, still, academically and is otherwise a normal almost 10 year old boy...except for the bit where bugs, frogs, & worms totally freak him out, Mikaila makes up for that though with her insistence of saving all that she comes across, even from the meanie Mommy that digs them up in her garden.

Lets see, what else.  In the last 5 years Brian has gone from wearing a men's 44 size pants to a 36 and is continually looking better every day. --mmm yummy.  I had some hormone issues arise with a birth control method I was using for years, but it took almost 3 years before that was figured out & discontinued, it's taken almost another 2 years for them to finally start balancing back out properly, so I'm FINALLY starting to see results again in my weighloss attempts, after gaining almost 60lbs because of it.  I no longer suffer from sinus or allergy issues thanks to my sinus surgery last month, which has REALLY helped me no longer have daily headaches, puffiness, shortness of breath, & the like.  I can finally get out & about & do the hard labor things I love doing around the house...In fact push mowing my lawn wasn't suspended because of my lack of being able to breathe, but was suspended by the mower saying "screw you", I'm not working any more.  Eh, what can I say, it's a 20" mulching push mower, we live on the side of a hill, with VERY thick grass, & the mower is at least 3 years old, it was bound to happen. 

But, I digress for the day.  The kids are out with their PawPaw living it up in town, my house is clean, today is my 'no homework/studying' day, so I'm going to work on getting some new painted glass pieces drawn up & all that.  I'm happy with my life & the progression of it.  At 22 I was living on the streets basically, and now at just a few weeks shy of 30 I have a wonderful, self-sustained life, with my husband, children, friends, and family.  I don't live in the charity ghetto where the bragging rights go to the person with the fanciest furnished HUD home.  I also don't have to keep popping out kids to make my man love me or pay my bills.  My ex owes nearly $20,000 in back child support & is supposed to only pay $200 a month.  I've seen a whole $1200 from him in the 7 years since it was filed and that's whatever.  He's not an asshole because he refuses to pay child support.  He's an asshole because he's an abusive prick who prefers the company of little girls he pulls out of random folks' yards to the company of an adult woman.  He's currently right where he belongs - in a maximum security prison. More power to him.  I've achieved all of this through the hard work of both myself & my husband.  Not once have we ever living in a housing assistance facility or house where we've qualified for assistance. Only about half of this time have we even qualified for food stamps and if it wasn't for some bad luck with my husband's shoulder surgery & a surprise lay-off at the same time we wouldn't have even bothered with getting back on them.  However, with his new promotion & now bonuses and the steady income I've started to generate with my glass pieces we'll be ready to be back off of assistance by the time our certification period ends again.

If this all qualifies me as being trailer trash than so be it.  I'd much rather be labeled trailer trash than be some blue waffled twit with 4 baby daddies before I was 30, living in the church provided housing development, collecting disability for the cervical cancer I contracted from the constant herpes outbreaks, while also collecting child support, food stamps, handouts, and cash assistance, while my husband pretends to be "self-employed" just to keep getting all the benefits.


I did momentarily forget to mention that the trailer we lived in right after Mikaila was born my mother-in-law also stayed in for a while.  She'll tell you all about the rats as big as her dog, a rat terrier, the deer that would come up on the deck & eat out of her hand, the rattlesnakes in the grass, the coyotes that would come up to the door to play with her dog through the glass, the wolves even that bounced gayly throughout the yard.  Mother-in-law also calls my house currently from time to time, so messed up on her "medications" that she has no clue whom she's even calling or why.  She's also taken up calling others & doing the same, or just hanging up on them.  She is also on her 5th or 6th marriage now.  Her eldest son sure did follow in her foot steps, except he was only 30 by the time he landed his 5th spouse.

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