Saturday, June 19, 2010

Because I Have the Time

...I am afterall almost done with the housework. Laundry is going at the speed of the machines, not much I can do to hurry that process up. REALLY wish I had a clothes line, but all in due time, I'm sure. It does help that the dryer, and washer for that matter, are down in the basement where it ironically stays quite cool despite no AC down there and the blistering heat outside.

...I am also done with my homework. No classwork to do again until next Saturday. Then I get to start on a "real" class. Not that my other classes haven't been beneficial, but they have been a bit redundant, to me at least. My next class is Medical Terminology. Now, I do find myself to be fairly competent where medical terminology is concerned, but I really expect to learn quite a bit over the next 5.5 weeks of this class. Algebra follows that.

...The kids are playing this is quietly playing in her room and the other is watching TV or reading his book. So all is peaceful...right now.

That brings me to my new thought for right now. Children and fighting.

I know that they are fighting because they're learning. One is learning her boundaries with her brother, the other is learning patience with the one who do not understand quite as much as he does. I'm powerless to really stop it, it's going to happen...and it's only going to get worse before it gets better, so I only "interfere" when there is a possibility of serious injury or am asked for help.

How do I justify not breaking up their fighting?

1) It's going to happen, as I already mentioned. My siblings and I fought our whole lives...some fights were nicer than others...some fights left someone in stitches or a cast, it happens. Sometimes a lesson is learned and sinks in, problem resolved. Other times there's nothing that'll get to the core of a thick skull, including a 2x4, and in those cases it's just best to wash your hands and leave the rest to the authority figures, that's what they're there for.

2) It's a part of growing up. They're learning life skills. The things they learn while fighting in the comfort of home will stick with them in the long run. If I jump in at every squabble then they're going to never learn how to resolve a conflict for themselves. They're going to always expect someone else to fix their problem and make it fair for everyone. Well, tough shit, life isn't fair for everyone. If you want something you have to work for it or find out a way to attain it. Sometimes that takes waiting your turn, sometimes it takes a barter (do for me, I do for you), other times it take just sheer force of will or brute strength.

3) I'd spend more time breaking up a squabble than I would getting anything done. They often are able to figure it out for themselves, whether they work it out or decide it's not worth fighting about, they'll figure it out. If they need some help for a higher authority, they'll ask.....or come running, screaming, and/or crying...and then the problem will be taken care of swiftly and completely, at least for that time.

4) They really do love each other and they do get along great 98% of the time. Like any great relationship between two individuals there are going to be highs and lows. The thing that makes it worth it is the highs out number the lows. Sometimes a low can get pretty fucking low, but those are only the tests of a real friendship & relationship. You just have to let the problem "rest" carry on for a while, doing your own thing, then at a better time you can go back to the good times in the relationship.

The fighting between siblings is no different than any other confrontation that they will face in life. But them having the skills taught by experience by fighting with their siblings, at a young age, will benefit them beyond measure later in life.

1 comment:

  1. I like it! I will keep these words in mind when mine begin fighting :)