Yea, I've broached the subject of my politics, some personal demons of my past, random vents about particular persons, vents about whatever, personal triumphs, and the life I enjoy now with my family.
I haven't really approached the subject of religion yet, most specifically, the "Christian" religion.
This is the post that I broach this subject. It is not my place to judge someone else who believes their system of beliefs is correct. This post merely highlights some of my experiences with organized Christian religions. EVERYONE, regardless of their religious, or lack there of, belief system they hold is ENTITLED to their OWN beliefs. What I BELIEVE, is just that, a BELIEF. I have FAITH that MY beliefs are CORRECT, just as you do. What stands out to me as hypocrisy though is the paramount piles of shit that is passed off as 'the only right way' religious doctrine, while other key aspects of that doctrine is blatantly ignored, excused, or twisted to suit the individual person or group as they personally please.
Yes, I had a Christian upbringing.
My mother brought us up to be astutely Baptist. The things I remember learning from her were:
1- We'll go to a fiery pit of torture for all eternity known as Hell, if we screwed up.
2- Sex before marriage was horrible, punishable in Hell, that's why I was born almost three weeks after my due date, only 7 months after my parents were married.
3- Interracial & inter-religious mingling was horrible, because we were to remain 'pure' in mind and body, no associations with others "not like us".
4- One must obey their parents, or face going to Hell.
That's all I remember about my Baptist upbringing. Basically, even as a small child, if we weren't perfect, we were going to Hell...if we were perfect we faced the prospect of going to a perfect spirit world known as Heaven. Of course I've never heard of anyone NOT going to Heaven upon dying, regardless of how they lived their life, so by the age of 8 I had started pulling away from the Baptist religion. I still went to church, I didn't have much choice, my mom put us on the church bus every Sunday and off we went, I'd spend some of my time in Sunday school "arguing" with my Sunday School teacher about the contradictions, she expelled me from Sunday school class, I was then forced to sit on the front row pew instead during the adult sermons so that I could be closest to the message being taught to me. Just before my 9th birthday I was completely excluded from going to church at all because I questioned the preacher, mid-sermon, in front of all of his congregation.
When I was 9, almost 10, we were put into the foster care system for nine months. I was placed in the home of a 'loving Christian family' for the first three months. Their Christian church was the Church of the Nazarene. I really have no clue what any of their religious beliefs entailed, but if I was to guess, based upon my experience, I'd have to say:
1- Any wrong doing was punishable with a Hell sentence - yep, I'd heard that story in the "evil Baptist" Church I'd been raised in.
2- I learned that it's okay to lie, so long as no one at the church found out about your secret habits of doing things such as leaving an already poor abused foster child out to sleep on the porch because she occasionally wet the bed as a 9 year old who'd been ripped from her home.
3- It was fine and dandy to preach about serving others and being selfless, so long as you weren't inconvenienced by the selfless acts.
4- It was perfectly fine to be mentally and verbally abusive to the child who did not understand how this home was so much better than the home she had been 'saved' from. Her own parents she was torn from had never made her feel like a second class citizen, never made her feel unwanted, had never really denied her from being able to participate in school activities, because girls shouldn't be taught anything put how to serve men, sing, look pretty, but not be vain about being the prettiest girls at church and school, and should be able to play 'righteous' musical instruments, such as the organ and the harp, that was it.
5- Easter was a time for being ridiculed for not having a fancy Easter dress and shoes and when the congregation showed for Easter dinner I was to remain out of sight, since I wasn't fully embracing their way of life and wasn't a real part of the family, nor was I going to be there for very long anyways because I was so insufferable. The only thing I know I did wrong was wet the bed a few times, sleep with a teddy bear that I'd had since I was a year old...my perfect grades in school started to slip, but I don't remember that ever being an issue...and skin my knees it seemed every time I got on a bike, scooter, or skateboard, then drip blood in the house.
Yes, I had a wonderful experience while living with the Nazarene preacher, wife, and two daughters.
I switched to a new foster home, one I'd be sharing with my baby brother, at the end of that three months. Our foster parents were an older couple, who had two grown children (twins I think) and a few grandchildren - two of the grandchildren were newborns when we lived there. Neither of my foster parents went to church, as far as I can remember, outside of a service here and there, maybe. They did pay to send me to a Baptist church camp for a week over the summer that I had begged to go to because some friends of mine from school were going to be going. The church camp wasn't horrible, there was a lot of sermons, that I don't remember really learning anything from, but there was also swimming, crafts, and various other 'fun' activities. The foster parents allowed me to continue going to the sponsoring church with my friends after the church camp...an Immanuel Baptist church. I learned how to use my Bible at that church and emmersed myself into reading it. I had the whole thing read within my six months of being in that home, and have read it 16 times cover to cover since. Of course I again fell into the category of insubordination to the church because I did not always have spare money from my allowance to put in the collection plate, or the nickles and dimes I did contribute weren't enough...and of course I would 'challenge' the preacher by asking questions about the things I had read in my Bible that did not seem to be the same things they were teaching. That foster home experience was wonderful though. I still keep in contact with "Grampa Don" and he continues to be a big part of our lives. He was there when each of us graduated high school, had children, got married, divorced, and even at my dad's funeral....my dad's own older sister couldn't be bothered with coming to the funeral, even though she only lived 5 minutes away. Grampa Don traveled two hours one direction to be there. Because of the relationship he developed, not only with us kids, but also my parents, while we were in foster care became a cornerstone turning point in the foster care system. (I only refer to Don because his wife Ann passed away several years ago and I have a bit of a hard time talking about the dead.)
In 1992, when we first went into the foster care system the system said that abused children should have no visits or communications with their parents, family members, etc outside of the court arranged visits. Don did not believe in following that system to the letter. He knew the case details and knew that by standards my folks were a trifle harsh in the way they handled discipline, at times, he also knew that I was often left as the primary physical caretaker of my three younger siblings, because both my parents had to work to keep what food on the table that they could. That was the whole reason we were in the system to begin with, because we were left without adult supervision quite a bit, we were dirt poor, and once in a while, to spare too much further bullying on the school bus, my brother would lie and say that the bruises, bloody nose, bite marks, etc he'd end up with were from our dad. He'd spend the hour visits we had each week hanging out with all of us and developed a relationship with my folks. A few months into this Don had brought up about his newest granddaughter (only granddaughter, out of 7 grandkids) was quite sickly, her stomach couldn't handle soy, nor could it handle lactose based products. My dad introduced him to goats milk. At the next visit my dad brought him a gallon of fresh milk he'd gathered that day. Within two days Don's granddaughter was no longer fussing, no longer throwing up, and was showing signs of great improvement! He started 'sneaking' us over to my folks' place several times a week to get more goats milk from my folks. I taught Don how to properly milk a goat (I'd been doing it since I was 5, twice a day, three goats), he ended up buying the goat for himself, but it saved his granddaughter's life and she just graduated high school.
My point is, Don and Ann did not go to church on a regular basis, maybe only even on a bi-yearly basis, they didn't cram Hell down our throats, and they were righteous persons. They believed in the Christian God, but did not see the need to be judgmental, harsh, or self-righteous about their beliefs. They LIVED their beliefs. They did not need to have bumper stickers, walls of crosses, tote a Bible, or spew hatred to let you know that they were Christian. You knew they were of the Christian belief by the way they lived their life - with kindness, love, compassion, and honesty.
THAT became the cornerstone for what I had started looking for in a religion to call my own.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Hiking Adventure of 2011
...at least so far into 2011...
We started off the day like any other Saturday - being lazy & sleeping in, all of us but Mikeal anyways, he was up early to get in some video game time since he was no longer grounded...
Then as afternoon rolled around I crawled out of bed and went straight to work on my Math Final - yay nearly done with this semester!! Just have an English final left and two other small assignments.
Brian crawled out of bed and enlisted Mikeal to assist him with getting some things picked up and the dishes done.
Then we decided we'd go out to the local state park to grill dinner and take a small hike - AWESOMENESS!
We grilled some burgers and hotdogs, ate until we were satisfied, cleaned up our mess and decided to hike a trail we've not been down yet.
You know, one of those trails your husband (Brian in this case) says is only a .5 mile trail (because the sign says .5 miles TO the trail)...so you think, ok, no problem, whatever, chances are great he'll get frustrated or tired of it before you do, so you're game. You, having prior hiking knowledge, are sure that the sign doesn't quite read the way he reads it to read, but you're enjoying the day with him and the kids, so why make a fuss?
You start off on the trail, it's roughly 4:30pm, and you head out...
You see some pretty cool things, like this stump, it's nice and peaceful, outside of the chatter of the kids...
A bit later you realize you have just walked a whole mile, in a circle, first UP the hill, then aroudn the hilltop, back DOWN the hill and are now back at the car...
OK...it is determined that apparently the first trail was not the right trail, so you head back to the trail head, to take the second option...
There's still plenty of daylight out, and this trail you're looking to go down is just a .5 mile trail...right?
The scenery is again beautiful, despite Spring just being around the corner...
...and there are squirrels EVERYWHERE!!!
And then we came to the end of that trail...a little over a mile later. It dead ended into the creek (well, there was a crossing bridge, but it was washed up on the shore on the other side from the floods last year) so we headed back to the fork of the trails...a mile worth of backtracking...
So backtracked to the fork in the trails and took option 3. I made them pose for a picture next to a tree, aren't they adorable!
Mikaila stopped being quite so keen on walking, so Brian ended up carrying her for a bit...
As the sun dips over the horizon, SURELY this is the right trail...only .5 miles to go to our destination, right?
And we come to another impasse, again our trail bridge was washed out, so we went through the campgrounds and stopped for a potty break since those were the ONLY bathrooms open at the park and I HAD TO GO! On our way back through the camp ground, to hike back through the woods in defeat we came across this lovely version of a bridge through the creek.
Can you see at the end of the rock bridge that small skinny log we have to walk across? Yea, me and my giraffe legs don't do such things stably...I made it though and we continued on to the trail...and YAY! We're now on the actual trail that we wanted to be on 1.5 hrs & 5 miles ago!!! So, theory is we only have .5 miles to go until we're at the site we want to see in the woods (the Ore Pit). And now that we know where we're at & where we're going, no big deal to get back to the car before dark, right?
Roughly another 2 miles later we happen upon what we assume to be what we're taking this trail to see...a giant hole in the ground, filled with muddy water...oh joy!
Now at this point our choice is to either continue on the only marked trail that we can clearly make out at this time or head back the way we came...we continue to press on, surely it's not far to the part of the trail that we know loops back around the hillside to the campgrounds, where we entered this trail, which happens to be .5 miles from where we parked the car, via the road...and there's still enough light to make that trip, right?
Another 2 miles down the trail and it's obvious that the trail we're on is not taking us back to where we had originally believed we'd be heading...and someone is getting just a wee bit worn out.
We continue to press on...and then we see it! Evidence of civilization!!! It is now mostly dark, roughly 7:30pm, the last rays of the sun have dipped over the horizon and the Super Moon is rising...We are at the back side of the park, the car is at the park entrance...we have about 2 miles of walking uphill to get to the campground and then another .5 miles of walking downhill from there to get to the car.
We finally made it back to the car and I snapped some awesome pictures of the Super Moon on our way home. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening out with the kids and Brian! Hoping we can make this a regular occurrence, even if we do get lost again. ☺♥
You'd think after a roughly 13 mile hike through the hills and woods that at least one of the kids would be asleep now, at 10:30pm....
Oh, did I happen to mention the fact that I was wearing my new Sketchers Shape-Up shoes...that is NOT recommended, ever, for hiking.
We started off the day like any other Saturday - being lazy & sleeping in, all of us but Mikeal anyways, he was up early to get in some video game time since he was no longer grounded...
Then as afternoon rolled around I crawled out of bed and went straight to work on my Math Final - yay nearly done with this semester!! Just have an English final left and two other small assignments.
Brian crawled out of bed and enlisted Mikeal to assist him with getting some things picked up and the dishes done.
Then we decided we'd go out to the local state park to grill dinner and take a small hike - AWESOMENESS!
We grilled some burgers and hotdogs, ate until we were satisfied, cleaned up our mess and decided to hike a trail we've not been down yet.
You know, one of those trails your husband (Brian in this case) says is only a .5 mile trail (because the sign says .5 miles TO the trail)...so you think, ok, no problem, whatever, chances are great he'll get frustrated or tired of it before you do, so you're game. You, having prior hiking knowledge, are sure that the sign doesn't quite read the way he reads it to read, but you're enjoying the day with him and the kids, so why make a fuss?
You start off on the trail, it's roughly 4:30pm, and you head out...
You see some pretty cool things, like this stump, it's nice and peaceful, outside of the chatter of the kids...
A bit later you realize you have just walked a whole mile, in a circle, first UP the hill, then aroudn the hilltop, back DOWN the hill and are now back at the car...
OK...it is determined that apparently the first trail was not the right trail, so you head back to the trail head, to take the second option...
There's still plenty of daylight out, and this trail you're looking to go down is just a .5 mile trail...right?
The scenery is again beautiful, despite Spring just being around the corner...
...and there are squirrels EVERYWHERE!!!
And then we came to the end of that trail...a little over a mile later. It dead ended into the creek (well, there was a crossing bridge, but it was washed up on the shore on the other side from the floods last year) so we headed back to the fork of the trails...a mile worth of backtracking...
So backtracked to the fork in the trails and took option 3. I made them pose for a picture next to a tree, aren't they adorable!
Mikaila stopped being quite so keen on walking, so Brian ended up carrying her for a bit...
As the sun dips over the horizon, SURELY this is the right trail...only .5 miles to go to our destination, right?
And we come to another impasse, again our trail bridge was washed out, so we went through the campgrounds and stopped for a potty break since those were the ONLY bathrooms open at the park and I HAD TO GO! On our way back through the camp ground, to hike back through the woods in defeat we came across this lovely version of a bridge through the creek.
Can you see at the end of the rock bridge that small skinny log we have to walk across? Yea, me and my giraffe legs don't do such things stably...I made it though and we continued on to the trail...and YAY! We're now on the actual trail that we wanted to be on 1.5 hrs & 5 miles ago!!! So, theory is we only have .5 miles to go until we're at the site we want to see in the woods (the Ore Pit). And now that we know where we're at & where we're going, no big deal to get back to the car before dark, right?
Roughly another 2 miles later we happen upon what we assume to be what we're taking this trail to see...a giant hole in the ground, filled with muddy water...oh joy!
Now at this point our choice is to either continue on the only marked trail that we can clearly make out at this time or head back the way we came...we continue to press on, surely it's not far to the part of the trail that we know loops back around the hillside to the campgrounds, where we entered this trail, which happens to be .5 miles from where we parked the car, via the road...and there's still enough light to make that trip, right?
Another 2 miles down the trail and it's obvious that the trail we're on is not taking us back to where we had originally believed we'd be heading...and someone is getting just a wee bit worn out.
We continue to press on...and then we see it! Evidence of civilization!!! It is now mostly dark, roughly 7:30pm, the last rays of the sun have dipped over the horizon and the Super Moon is rising...We are at the back side of the park, the car is at the park entrance...we have about 2 miles of walking uphill to get to the campground and then another .5 miles of walking downhill from there to get to the car.
We finally made it back to the car and I snapped some awesome pictures of the Super Moon on our way home. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening out with the kids and Brian! Hoping we can make this a regular occurrence, even if we do get lost again. ☺♥
You'd think after a roughly 13 mile hike through the hills and woods that at least one of the kids would be asleep now, at 10:30pm....Oh, did I happen to mention the fact that I was wearing my new Sketchers Shape-Up shoes...that is NOT recommended, ever, for hiking.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Well, that sucks.
So a week or so ago I made this blog post yay...woohoo...
And then last week everything just imploded on us.
On Saturday of last week Brian had had enough of his original job, that he was still working at, so called in on Sunday and told them to (politely) fly a kite.
We spent a lovely day together as a family, after more than a month of barely seeing him, it was AWESOME!
Then Monday he went to work, all went well, as one can expect a work day to go.
Monday afternoon Mikeal comes home from school and with his arrival home we learn he'd earned himself 3 days vacation from riding the bus back and forth to school.
I wasn't terribly happy because if you'll remember, we bought a truck in December, it 'died' four days later, the top half of the motor was rebuilt over the next two months...and here we sit a few thousand dollars sunk into it later and the whole engine is completely seized up - YAY we get to put a whole new motor in it. So because the truck won't move under it's own power we only have one vehicle, meaning I'd have to get up at 7am, get ready for the day, get Miss Mikaila up for the day, take Mikeal to school, then take Brian to work, have Brian to work by 8:30, Mikeal to school before 8am; Brian works 45 minutes out one way, one direction, Mikeal goes to school 10 minutes the other direction, from the house. I'd then have to go pick up Mikaila from school those days at 2:45, because her bus drops her off at 3:10, but Mikeal is out of school at 3:05, then go home, chill out for a bit, do homework, then leave out at 4:30 to pick Brian up from work at 5:30, get home, cook dinner, and get the kids in bed by 8:30. Wash, rinse, repeat, three days. I am NOT a morning person, at all!
Monday evening came and the (new) boss called and asked Brian to come into work 30 minutes early...weird, but okay...just means my day just started 30 minutes earlier. (I wasn't pleased, but what was I going to do about it?)
Tuesday morning rolls around...get Mikeal off to school a touch early...get Brian out to work, and stick around to find out exactly what the early morning conference was to consist of because we were both slightly worried. The new boss is a great guy, the pay is great, Brian did a great job, but it is, afterall, just a small family owned & ran business, and things can get volatile, quickly.
Fears were confirmed when the owner said he'd love to keep Brian on board, but he doesn't have the time to really help train Brian on the things he still needs to learn, so when he takes time from his vehicles to help Brian with his so they're both losing money. As we all know, money makes the world turn...its not gravitational force as some scientists would want you to believe. So Brian finished up a few things around the shop, boss paid him what was owed to him, with a bit extra (which was awesome)...
Its been a week, maybe two...I haven't kept track.
I love my husband...I really really do.
But we're both going crazy with all this time together...especially since I have been sick with this stupid pneumonia crap and have pages and pages of homework to do and get done. This is my first real semester with a full-time class schedule and its just been a *bit* challenging with the sicknesses, the stress from many angles, and sickness.
BUT Brian expects to be working soon, all our bills are still paid up, the cupboards are stocked, and I only have one week of assignments left before I get a 10 day break from classes. Next week I'm hoping to have the rest of my student loan stipend money and with that I'll be purchasing the new (used, but operable) engine for the truck and if all goes smoothly the truck will be running within a week or two, so I'll have a vehicle again. And Brian should know sometime this week where he'll be working.
It does suck though that I'm putting the purchasing of my new dishwasher off to purchase the engine for the truck, but Mikeal makes a decent substitute in the meantime.
So all is well that ends well, such is life and had it not been for the threat of possible shoulder surgery that we prepared for in February we would not be able to weather this hiccup, but we're weathering it and I've seen evidence of Spring, so I'm content.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Things I've "Learned"...
...while posing as a 19 year old for 3 days now...
* If you're not married by the time you're 20 you are either ugly, skanky, or a guy.
* Having a baby is the 'best thing ever'...especially if you're unemployed, living at home with your parents, and can harass multiple men into providing everything for you.
* 99% of the pictures you post of yourself should be taken by yourself, preferably in a bathroom with a dirty toilet in the background or in a vehicle.
* The use of proper grammar & spelling is only for people who think they're better than you, anyone who uses proper grammar & spelling to insult your intelligence is 'stupid & immature'.
* Tattoos should only be gotten if they look cool that week, preferably in places that can be easily shown off in any type of clothing.
* "Older men" refers to any male over the age of 21, who has grown tired of catering to the whining demands of their 'adult' girlfriends who are unable to drive themselves anywhere because they don't have a license, therefore are unable to get a job, and unable to care for the children they have with some other man..and refuse to do anything but make that other man's life absolute hell because he won't cater to her every whim either.
* Many of these (19-21yo) 'Baby Daddies' work their butts off to make sure their children are being cared for, in every way possible under the circumstance of not being able to tolerate the 'Baby Mamas', only to have to put up with ungrateful childish brats (the mamas) to the point they become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and get left with the feeling that maybe their baby will be better off without all the drama, so just pay the mama and be done with.
* A guy not checking in with his girlfriend for more than 12 hours is reason to blast him for being some sort of uncaring low life that is 'not needed'...only for such posts to be deleted at hour 13 because he finally found his phone charger and saw where you'd blew up his phone.
* Jersday is actually Thursday, the day that Jersey Shore airs.
* Babies are only an excuse to keep the spotlight on you, in an effort to out shine your friends...whether it be the pregnancy announcement with the 'man of your dreams', the fallout that comes a few months later when you find a better man or he gets tired of your bullshit ways & abuse, the birth in which you hope the baby daddy comes running back to your bed so he can spend more time with his child, or the following months when you realize you can make his life living hell because he wants something to do with his child, but not you because you're a drama whore bitch.
* Deceit is a way of life. It doesn't matter who the lie is going to hurt in the long run, so long as you get your 30 seconds of fame off the deal that's all that matters. Being proved that you openly lied, by telling the truth not 12 hours beforehand is justification for deleting all posts about the truth, so that you can further prove just how 'mean' these 'childish people' are, nosing in your public to the world business that you post.
* A "great job" entails working at KMart over Taco Bell.
ugh...I'm so terribly happy I am actually 'old' and have nearly a decade under my belt since my own teen years. Even then I can't remember it being anywhere near the level I read on a daily basis with these folks. Maybe it's because we didn't have such things as Facebook, not even MySpace back then, and only VERY few folks actually had a cell phone of their own. Regardless of the reason for not knowing such petty foolishness actually existed on such a grand scale back then there is NO WAY I'd want to be a teenager/young adult now...no way in any sort of hell.
* If you're not married by the time you're 20 you are either ugly, skanky, or a guy.
* Having a baby is the 'best thing ever'...especially if you're unemployed, living at home with your parents, and can harass multiple men into providing everything for you.
* 99% of the pictures you post of yourself should be taken by yourself, preferably in a bathroom with a dirty toilet in the background or in a vehicle.
* The use of proper grammar & spelling is only for people who think they're better than you, anyone who uses proper grammar & spelling to insult your intelligence is 'stupid & immature'.
* Tattoos should only be gotten if they look cool that week, preferably in places that can be easily shown off in any type of clothing.
* "Older men" refers to any male over the age of 21, who has grown tired of catering to the whining demands of their 'adult' girlfriends who are unable to drive themselves anywhere because they don't have a license, therefore are unable to get a job, and unable to care for the children they have with some other man..and refuse to do anything but make that other man's life absolute hell because he won't cater to her every whim either.
* Many of these (19-21yo) 'Baby Daddies' work their butts off to make sure their children are being cared for, in every way possible under the circumstance of not being able to tolerate the 'Baby Mamas', only to have to put up with ungrateful childish brats (the mamas) to the point they become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and get left with the feeling that maybe their baby will be better off without all the drama, so just pay the mama and be done with.
* A guy not checking in with his girlfriend for more than 12 hours is reason to blast him for being some sort of uncaring low life that is 'not needed'...only for such posts to be deleted at hour 13 because he finally found his phone charger and saw where you'd blew up his phone.
* Jersday is actually Thursday, the day that Jersey Shore airs.
* Babies are only an excuse to keep the spotlight on you, in an effort to out shine your friends...whether it be the pregnancy announcement with the 'man of your dreams', the fallout that comes a few months later when you find a better man or he gets tired of your bullshit ways & abuse, the birth in which you hope the baby daddy comes running back to your bed so he can spend more time with his child, or the following months when you realize you can make his life living hell because he wants something to do with his child, but not you because you're a drama whore bitch.
* Deceit is a way of life. It doesn't matter who the lie is going to hurt in the long run, so long as you get your 30 seconds of fame off the deal that's all that matters. Being proved that you openly lied, by telling the truth not 12 hours beforehand is justification for deleting all posts about the truth, so that you can further prove just how 'mean' these 'childish people' are, nosing in your public to the world business that you post.
* A "great job" entails working at KMart over Taco Bell.
ugh...I'm so terribly happy I am actually 'old' and have nearly a decade under my belt since my own teen years. Even then I can't remember it being anywhere near the level I read on a daily basis with these folks. Maybe it's because we didn't have such things as Facebook, not even MySpace back then, and only VERY few folks actually had a cell phone of their own. Regardless of the reason for not knowing such petty foolishness actually existed on such a grand scale back then there is NO WAY I'd want to be a teenager/young adult now...no way in any sort of hell.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Admission
So I may have done something as a sort of 'experiment'. To say it was successful is an understatement. It is also quite disturbing.
A young friend of mine is having issues with his baby momma spreading lies and hate over social media networks, namely Facebook. I've been her 'friend' on my real account for nearly a year, but was recently blocked because I called her out on a lie she told, by using one of her earlier posts to prove that she was just lying to create drama...I created a fake 18 year old account.
I then friend requested this gal and several of her listed friends.
Should I mention now that 90% of these folks (guys and girls alike) have absolutely NO privacy settings set. Before friend requesting most of them I was able to see everything about them that they'd posted. After they freely accepted my request I was able to even access their phone numbers, a combination of cell and land lines.
I have had this account open and in operation for less than 40 hours at this point...Fake name, complete with fake picture and no real information about myself, just that I'm homeschooled and live in the area and not from the area.
Within 12 hours of having this account I was messaged for the first time by someone...at that point my friend count was up to 30. He wanted to welcome me to his friends list, asked if I was from the area, I gave my generic response "been here for a year or two, homeschool, know no one"...his next message to me included his phone number with a request that I text him, with assurance that he wasn't a creep.
I know of the kid in real life, his mom and a dear friend of mine are friends, he went to school with my friend's son, etc...so that's a whatever issue...the issue though is that HE doesn't know if *I* am or am not a creep (I promise I'm not and I've since neglected to reply back to him, at least until I can let the powers that pay for his cell phone know what's up).
By the time I hit the 24 hour mark of having my account open I'd accepted another dozen random requests from kids requesting me to be on their friends list. And a few others had accepted my sent request. Within 24 hours my friend count was nearly 50 and only one of those 50 asked if I knew her personally. I gave her the same bullshit line about being homeschooled, not knowing anyone around here, just attempting to meet people....she accepted my request without further question.
I have now had my account for a whole 40 hours and my friend count is over 50 people, the requests and accepts have slowed, but not stopped...
I know where most of these folks work, go to school, the TV shows they like to watch, their phone numbers, when they're home, when they're gone, when they're where and with whom.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily have to friend all these folks to know any of this information, they have it all out there in the open for any troll to run across.
THIS is how easy it is to troll, stalk, and potentially harass these young adults. Yes, I've checked, at least from the information provided the folks on my 'fake' profile page are between the ages of 17-25, most around age 19 & 20. You really don't want to know what else I've learned about the 'new' young adult culture over the last 40 hours either. It's enough to make your head spin....and will be fodder for a future blog post.
A young friend of mine is having issues with his baby momma spreading lies and hate over social media networks, namely Facebook. I've been her 'friend' on my real account for nearly a year, but was recently blocked because I called her out on a lie she told, by using one of her earlier posts to prove that she was just lying to create drama...I created a fake 18 year old account.
I then friend requested this gal and several of her listed friends.
Should I mention now that 90% of these folks (guys and girls alike) have absolutely NO privacy settings set. Before friend requesting most of them I was able to see everything about them that they'd posted. After they freely accepted my request I was able to even access their phone numbers, a combination of cell and land lines.
I have had this account open and in operation for less than 40 hours at this point...Fake name, complete with fake picture and no real information about myself, just that I'm homeschooled and live in the area and not from the area.
Within 12 hours of having this account I was messaged for the first time by someone...at that point my friend count was up to 30. He wanted to welcome me to his friends list, asked if I was from the area, I gave my generic response "been here for a year or two, homeschool, know no one"...his next message to me included his phone number with a request that I text him, with assurance that he wasn't a creep.
I know of the kid in real life, his mom and a dear friend of mine are friends, he went to school with my friend's son, etc...so that's a whatever issue...the issue though is that HE doesn't know if *I* am or am not a creep (I promise I'm not and I've since neglected to reply back to him, at least until I can let the powers that pay for his cell phone know what's up).
By the time I hit the 24 hour mark of having my account open I'd accepted another dozen random requests from kids requesting me to be on their friends list. And a few others had accepted my sent request. Within 24 hours my friend count was nearly 50 and only one of those 50 asked if I knew her personally. I gave her the same bullshit line about being homeschooled, not knowing anyone around here, just attempting to meet people....she accepted my request without further question.
I have now had my account for a whole 40 hours and my friend count is over 50 people, the requests and accepts have slowed, but not stopped...
I know where most of these folks work, go to school, the TV shows they like to watch, their phone numbers, when they're home, when they're gone, when they're where and with whom.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily have to friend all these folks to know any of this information, they have it all out there in the open for any troll to run across.
THIS is how easy it is to troll, stalk, and potentially harass these young adults. Yes, I've checked, at least from the information provided the folks on my 'fake' profile page are between the ages of 17-25, most around age 19 & 20. You really don't want to know what else I've learned about the 'new' young adult culture over the last 40 hours either. It's enough to make your head spin....and will be fodder for a future blog post.
What does Love mean?
A question answered by 4-8 year olds...
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make ! sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
A four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make ! sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
A four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Friday, March 4, 2011
Answer To a Question
Some have asked me why me Twitter name is @gypsy_momma .
The answer isn't because I think of myself as a person who rivals Esmeralda, contrary to popular belief.
Its really quite a bit more simple than that.
I moved. a LOT. While pregnant with my son, up until about the time he was 3, I moved well over 20 times, across 5 states (I think just 5).
The insane amount of moving started the evening I got the positive pregnancy test. It was a previously planned move, from Arkansas to Indiana, for my ex's job.
Upon entering Indiana we moved another half dozen times from trashy hotel to mini-apartment-like hotel suites, until we finally found an apartment that would work for us...
Two months after Mikeal was born the job transferred us again (namely because my ex was drinking too much to fulfill his contract properly, and his boss was trying to cover his own ass with having a drunk asshole driving kids 13-15 years old around neighborhoods.) So we found ourselves back in Arkansas.
Less than two months later my ex was charged with kidnapping, indecent exposure, and attempting to rape a 5 year old, who lived in Missouri, just across the state line from us. He went to jail for a few weeks, I moved in with my momma in Oklahoma.
My ex was released after his dad paid his bail money, we moved into a house down the road from my mom. (At this point I was completely clueless as to the truth behind his arrest.)
A few months later he re-contracted with a different guy, in the same door-to-door sales line of work, we moved to Tulsa.
My ex started feeling paranoid due to the multiple 'visits' from law enforcement to our home, mainly brought on by our neighbors calling the cops for domestic disturbances. I tried to move back in with my mom, but she wouldn't have it, same story with my aunts and uncles, as well as everyone else I knew...I became 'stuck' - 21, only a high school education, not a dime to MY name, an abusive drunk for a husband, and a 1 year old baby.
We ended up moving again into his adoptive father's camper (his adoptive father who happens to be the police Lieutenant) for a few weeks...and then I found out the whole truth behind the charges against my ex. His lawyer was so kind to play back the 'confession' tape to my ex and my ex thought it'd be perfectly fine if I was standing in there while it was being played.
In September the final trial date was set, Mikeal was 13 months old, and we'd again moved into an apartment that I was to keep up with for him to move into when he was done with his sentence... I'd already formulated and perfected a plan of a different sort. I'm a great actress...at least great enough that EVERYONE believed me when I said I'd be there for that lying, abusive, drunk, baby raping, fetus killing, sorriest excuse for a human being I've EVER known.
Sept 22 he was sentenced to...wait for it...make sure there's nothing terribly breakable nearby...swallow whatever it is you're drinking or eating...Make sure you are completely ready to read this...you're still not ready...4 months. Yes, you did not read that incorrectly. The bastard who ADMITTED to intending rape this 5 year old child, who ADMITTED to leading this unattended child from the stoop of her apartment to a laundry room, and ADMITTED to exposing himself to her, was only given 4 months in a PSYCHIATRIC treatment facility for DRUG ADDICTION. He was also given 4 years of probation. My dad on the other hand? was only simply accused of sexual misconduct against a minor, there was no proof, and the accuser's story changes as often as I buy underwear, was given 30 years in a maximum security prison, not a few months prior to this. I put my plan into action.
My ex had given me a list of 'rules' to follow while he was incarcerated. Rules included things like: pay both of his vehicle payments, I wasn't allowed to start smoking (I was a non-smoker at that time), I wasn't allowed to go out with friends, I was to keep a phone line turned on so he could call collect, and I was to accept any and all charges and be available anytime he called, I wasn't to fall behind on any bills, blah blah blah blah blah...I don't remember them all, but he was kind enough to send them to me in a letter a few days later...and you better believe it when I say I made DAMNED sure I broke EVERY last one of them before he was released. By the time he got out 4 months later I'd started reinventing myself. I moved so that he couldn't find me.
Of course his family made my life an absolute living hell after they found out that I wasn't going to grant him 'permission' to come and live with me, and he couldn't go live with any of them because they each had felony convictions, except for the adoptive father, who was also a foster parent, therefore unable to accept him as well. I couldn't tell you how many times I moved around that city (Tulsa, OK) or how many different jobs I'd lost because of them...it got to the point that I found myself on the street with an 18 month old.
Thankfully my sister was willing to let Mikeal come stay with her, not me though...I'd obviously screwed up along the line to find myself homeless, therefore that's what I deserved...yea, my family is a bit screwed in the head, but whatever. A co-worker and his roommate let me sleep at their place while I worked to get back on my feet, it wasn't a safe place for Mikeal, (HORRID neighborhood) so I did what I could, working as many hours as possible, at three different jobs. I spent my spare time in a chatroom.
Due to the AWESOME people I'd met in said chatroom I ended up moving to Austin, TX...the frequency of my moves slowed, I started to stabilize, and Mikeal was with me. I met Brian through that chatroom as well.
As anyone could tell you who has had to start over from scratch it's not always smooth...I did move a few more times, once back to Oklahoma for a year to get my divorce finalized, then back to Texas for another year, until I had problems with my pregnancy and we made the move back to Oklahoma to be closer to my mom & family... We were there for three years, and now we're in Tennessee, closer to Brian's family because Oklahoma is the quicksand pit of the country, we had to get out while the getting was good. We've been so INCREDIBLY blessed by making this move and I have absolutely no plans of packing up again, for a REALLY long time.
The great thing about moving so much in the past is I went from 'having' to use a large moving truck for everything, to just a few suitcases...now I think we're up to about three large moving trucks of 'stuff'...but it's just that - stuff. I've gone without all of this, I'm not afraid of going without it again.
So that's the long story. The short story is that I gained the nickname "Gypsy" because I can pack up, move, and 'disappear' at a moments notice.
The answer isn't because I think of myself as a person who rivals Esmeralda, contrary to popular belief.
Its really quite a bit more simple than that.
I moved. a LOT. While pregnant with my son, up until about the time he was 3, I moved well over 20 times, across 5 states (I think just 5).
The insane amount of moving started the evening I got the positive pregnancy test. It was a previously planned move, from Arkansas to Indiana, for my ex's job.
Upon entering Indiana we moved another half dozen times from trashy hotel to mini-apartment-like hotel suites, until we finally found an apartment that would work for us...
Two months after Mikeal was born the job transferred us again (namely because my ex was drinking too much to fulfill his contract properly, and his boss was trying to cover his own ass with having a drunk asshole driving kids 13-15 years old around neighborhoods.) So we found ourselves back in Arkansas.
Less than two months later my ex was charged with kidnapping, indecent exposure, and attempting to rape a 5 year old, who lived in Missouri, just across the state line from us. He went to jail for a few weeks, I moved in with my momma in Oklahoma.
My ex was released after his dad paid his bail money, we moved into a house down the road from my mom. (At this point I was completely clueless as to the truth behind his arrest.)
A few months later he re-contracted with a different guy, in the same door-to-door sales line of work, we moved to Tulsa.
My ex started feeling paranoid due to the multiple 'visits' from law enforcement to our home, mainly brought on by our neighbors calling the cops for domestic disturbances. I tried to move back in with my mom, but she wouldn't have it, same story with my aunts and uncles, as well as everyone else I knew...I became 'stuck' - 21, only a high school education, not a dime to MY name, an abusive drunk for a husband, and a 1 year old baby.
We ended up moving again into his adoptive father's camper (his adoptive father who happens to be the police Lieutenant) for a few weeks...and then I found out the whole truth behind the charges against my ex. His lawyer was so kind to play back the 'confession' tape to my ex and my ex thought it'd be perfectly fine if I was standing in there while it was being played.
In September the final trial date was set, Mikeal was 13 months old, and we'd again moved into an apartment that I was to keep up with for him to move into when he was done with his sentence... I'd already formulated and perfected a plan of a different sort. I'm a great actress...at least great enough that EVERYONE believed me when I said I'd be there for that lying, abusive, drunk, baby raping, fetus killing, sorriest excuse for a human being I've EVER known.
Sept 22 he was sentenced to...wait for it...make sure there's nothing terribly breakable nearby...swallow whatever it is you're drinking or eating...Make sure you are completely ready to read this...you're still not ready...4 months. Yes, you did not read that incorrectly. The bastard who ADMITTED to intending rape this 5 year old child, who ADMITTED to leading this unattended child from the stoop of her apartment to a laundry room, and ADMITTED to exposing himself to her, was only given 4 months in a PSYCHIATRIC treatment facility for DRUG ADDICTION. He was also given 4 years of probation. My dad on the other hand? was only simply accused of sexual misconduct against a minor, there was no proof, and the accuser's story changes as often as I buy underwear, was given 30 years in a maximum security prison, not a few months prior to this. I put my plan into action.
My ex had given me a list of 'rules' to follow while he was incarcerated. Rules included things like: pay both of his vehicle payments, I wasn't allowed to start smoking (I was a non-smoker at that time), I wasn't allowed to go out with friends, I was to keep a phone line turned on so he could call collect, and I was to accept any and all charges and be available anytime he called, I wasn't to fall behind on any bills, blah blah blah blah blah...I don't remember them all, but he was kind enough to send them to me in a letter a few days later...and you better believe it when I say I made DAMNED sure I broke EVERY last one of them before he was released. By the time he got out 4 months later I'd started reinventing myself. I moved so that he couldn't find me.
Of course his family made my life an absolute living hell after they found out that I wasn't going to grant him 'permission' to come and live with me, and he couldn't go live with any of them because they each had felony convictions, except for the adoptive father, who was also a foster parent, therefore unable to accept him as well. I couldn't tell you how many times I moved around that city (Tulsa, OK) or how many different jobs I'd lost because of them...it got to the point that I found myself on the street with an 18 month old.
Thankfully my sister was willing to let Mikeal come stay with her, not me though...I'd obviously screwed up along the line to find myself homeless, therefore that's what I deserved...yea, my family is a bit screwed in the head, but whatever. A co-worker and his roommate let me sleep at their place while I worked to get back on my feet, it wasn't a safe place for Mikeal, (HORRID neighborhood) so I did what I could, working as many hours as possible, at three different jobs. I spent my spare time in a chatroom.
Due to the AWESOME people I'd met in said chatroom I ended up moving to Austin, TX...the frequency of my moves slowed, I started to stabilize, and Mikeal was with me. I met Brian through that chatroom as well.
As anyone could tell you who has had to start over from scratch it's not always smooth...I did move a few more times, once back to Oklahoma for a year to get my divorce finalized, then back to Texas for another year, until I had problems with my pregnancy and we made the move back to Oklahoma to be closer to my mom & family... We were there for three years, and now we're in Tennessee, closer to Brian's family because Oklahoma is the quicksand pit of the country, we had to get out while the getting was good. We've been so INCREDIBLY blessed by making this move and I have absolutely no plans of packing up again, for a REALLY long time.
The great thing about moving so much in the past is I went from 'having' to use a large moving truck for everything, to just a few suitcases...now I think we're up to about three large moving trucks of 'stuff'...but it's just that - stuff. I've gone without all of this, I'm not afraid of going without it again.
So that's the long story. The short story is that I gained the nickname "Gypsy" because I can pack up, move, and 'disappear' at a moments notice.
Things that Suck
Vacuum cleaners suck. They suck better after you've cleaned the filters and components...especially the canister that collects all the Legos, socks, sucker wrappers, and dirt that accumulates, quickly.
Vehicles suck. Unless you keep them clean and maintained, then they'll run like a dream until the end of time. This doesn't just include the interior & exterior...this includes everything under the hood...be sure you know what fluids to use and refill low fluids with. Nothing is worse on a vehicle than using the improper fluids.
Bathrooms suck. Unless they're cleaned and spotless! Nothing is more disease ridden than a dirty bathroom - use bleach!
Kitchens suck. They're filled with awesome wholesome goodness, but the moment things aren't properly cleaned and cared for they become deadly.
Wives suck. They suck better & more often when the item they're sucking on is cleaned and maintained....do I REALLY need to elaborate?
Feel free to add to the list of things that suck below. :)
Vehicles suck. Unless you keep them clean and maintained, then they'll run like a dream until the end of time. This doesn't just include the interior & exterior...this includes everything under the hood...be sure you know what fluids to use and refill low fluids with. Nothing is worse on a vehicle than using the improper fluids.
Bathrooms suck. Unless they're cleaned and spotless! Nothing is more disease ridden than a dirty bathroom - use bleach!
Kitchens suck. They're filled with awesome wholesome goodness, but the moment things aren't properly cleaned and cared for they become deadly.
Wives suck. They suck better & more often when the item they're sucking on is cleaned and maintained....do I REALLY need to elaborate?
Feel free to add to the list of things that suck below. :)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Things my Mother Taught & I'm Passing Down...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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