As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
>Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
Take bets on the battle from above.
Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.
Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
Try on bras over top of your clothes.
While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
Play with the automatic doors.
Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation i.e:
"How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions."
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
I married my best friend. Like all best friends life around each other isn't always peaches and cream! We have our ups, downs, falling-outs, making-ups, good times, and bad times. Despite all of it we've always found a way to work out the issues and rejoice at the end of the days.
The ceremony she preformed for us was quite beautiful, in no way did I feel like it was some sort of textbook, by rote selection of vows that she had us repeat. I really wish I would of had a video of it so that I could look back on it & know exactly what she said...truth be told I was so over joyed that it was difficult for me to stay focused long enough to remember what she was saying, as she was saying, in order for me to "repeat after her". I kept getting flustered every time Brian would look at me or smile at me, and it was just like living some sort of dream that even now gets be a bit flustered.
The commitment to the beginning of the rest of our lives was sealed with a kiss.....
yes!"
consummated our engagement. 
Mikaila was concieved that night. 
But my heart of hearts feels that she is a gift from my dad as Brian is sterile according to doctors. 
Sometimes it pays to take the trash off myself.
about it! The keys were even in the bottom of it. Almost like someone bought it, noticed the defect, and just threw it away. 
