Saturday, October 23, 2010

And again today...

...Well, it would appear that I have diarrhea of the blogging thoughts....

After talking with a few friends...then being talked at by some acquaintances I have made my decision.

My first area of concentration with my therapy sessions is to work on removing annoying 'relationships' from my life.

I'm not talking about those friendships, or rather acquaintanceships, that I enjoy on a surface level. Many of whom I speak with on a daily basis.

I also have some very dear friends that I know that it would not matter if we spoke on a daily basis or years pass before we speak to each other again, we know the other person would be there in a heartbeat. The fortitude of our friendship knows no bounds. I know that there have been times that they may not have been able to stand me for a decision I've made and myself likewise about some of their decisions, but regardless, when the water all boils down we're still there for each other.

But then I have those relationships that make me wonder. If I deleted them from my life would they notice? Sure, I know some of them would notice, but WHY would they notice? Would they notice because someone wanted to know what the newest thread of gossip was about me? Would they notice because they were genuinely concerned? What is their motivation in noticing that I've deleted them?

I still have a few weeks before I see my therapist again, but after having a long conversation with my wonderful husband the other day, a phone call a few days ago with someone, and then an instant messaging conversation with someone else late this evening I think this is the first step that I should take. To rid myself of 'hostile' relationships.

Its late...I'm sure that when I read this post at a better time, when my thoughts aren't constantly interrupting themselves, it won't make a lick of clear sense. I may clean it up then...make it sound like a sane person wrote it, maybe. Or at least a person who has her thoughts lined up clearly.

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