Saturday, January 22, 2011

Adventures in CandyLand with Meanie Momma

Santa brought the game of CandyLand into our home, for the 3rd or 4th Christmas, in less than 5 years...I think he gave up last year on the notion, revived said notion this year...because apparently losing all the pieces, cards, etc in the past by Valentine's Day means nothing...

He also brought with him Connect 4 (the one that has to be assembled with 900 Lego pieces & comes with 40 some odd 'chips'), Yahtzee Jr. Toy Story 3 Edition (5 dice, 30 tokens to score points), Uno Attack (lacking the C batteries it requires, complete with full Uno deck), a Feed the Kitty game (roughly 15 pieces, I think), and Uno Moo (28 pieces).

I am dutifully reporting the fact that Connect 4, Lego edition was BANNED for eternity by Dec 26. Yahtzee Jr is missing 3-5 dice on any given day...the day that we're not missing all of them are the days I find them as I step on them in the dark...forget searching for the tokens after Dec. 29th.

Uno Attack still has no batteries...but most of the cards are now missing, as of Jan 5th. Feed the Kitty on any random day is missing 1-12 of the small, dice size 'mice' and the two dice...any of which are again found, in the dark, by my feet, the bowl that comes with the game is often used for afternoon snacks, beverages, feeding our cat Carbon, or giving the dog a bath.

The small balls that accompany UnoMoo are perfect throwing objects for the cat to chase...I mainly find them when I move the couch & loveseat to sweep...occasionally they're also found in the dark, by my feet.

This procession of events has left us with only CandyLand being spared....until tonight.

It started innocently enough. Mikaila pulled it out of the 'game pieces drawer', formerly known as where the games are to be put away, complete with all their pieces, in their respective boxes....that lasted almost an hour, Christmas afternoon...

She then tore the box open, throwing half the cards off to the side, laying out the board, throwing the instructions elsewhere, and claiming the Gingerbread men pieces as 'MINE!' I was working on cooking dinner & critiquing some of my classmates submitted papers, Brian wasn't quite home yet from work, and Mikeal was playing the problem with her claim.

She then sat in the floor, off in the corner, with these four small pieces, one red, one yellow, one green, one blue. The five of them proceeded to have quite the lengthy conversation...I only was able to make out the occasional 'Meanie Momma'. Nothing new there.

The intensity of the 'Meanie Momma' comments increased every time Mikaila would walk off from her perfectly spaced, all facing the same direction pieces. I'd turn one of the pieces around to face the wrong direction & oddly space them. Yes, I do have a small fund set aside for her future therapy sessions...about $0.43, so far.

To say the least Mikaila was none too happy when she caught me in the act. The mutterings and 'Meanie Momma' references grew more sinister. She took up taking all four pieces with her everywhere she went...

Brian came home shortly, then dinner was served, and mostly ate by everyone.

After dinner Mikaila decided to name the pieces...The red one is Daddy. The green one is Bubba. The yellow one is Meanie Momma. Mikeal asked Mikaila "which one is you?" ...she picked up the blue one and exclaimed 'You'. So the blue one is You.

With each piece now having it's own name the conversation took on a bit more meaning between the five of them (all narrated by Mikaila).

Having cleared the dinner dishes and vowing to wash them tomorrow I stripped myself of my confining chest adornment. Mikaila then proceeded to climb onto the back of my chair and drop the pieces down the front of my shirt, then lift my shirt to find them. Mikeal, the 8year old boy, was not terribly thrilled with hearing the commotion as he was trying to explain a Wii game to Brian. Yes, I've started his therapy fund as well...I think it's up to $0.56.

After unsuccessfully trying to convince Mikaila to just let me do my homework, I gave up. I made the decision that I was going to teach her how to properly play CandyLand, I'd play a few dozen games, and it'd be fun. And it was fun. Except...

She insists that the red piece only goes on red squares, blue on blue, etc...its interesting to say the least...I lost. I added another quarter to my therapy fund and a nickle to hers.

Of course then it escalated into a game of 'put the pieces where Mikaila doesn't them...because I am the Meanie Momma, after all.

This resulted in a 'Battle Royale' featuring Mikaila with the high wire acrobatics off the coffee table and me laying in the floor, completely defenseless in between laughing hysterically and crying...

That then resulted in me attempted to take away the little CandyLand men...

Which turned into a game of keep away that Mikaila is SHOCKINGLY great at...seriously, you can't do the hand switch thing with her, she knows it's coming, so she sits on your throat and dives down the length of your arm until she pries the pieces from your hand, pulls your oversized turtleneck sweater collar over your head as she stuffs these sharp edged pieces down your back...It continued on in this manner for a good 20 minutes, just rinse and repeat.

Then there were more tears as a piece cut my nose, my throat became the target of assault from knees and elbows, and then finally she pulled my loose turtleneck sweater over my head and came VERY close to completely ripping my shirt off entirely.

I am proud to announce that Mikeal has now taken my spot at the CandyLand board...

This version of CandyLand would be MUCH more fun if my opponent was Brian and not Mikaila...I may not have fought so much against the stripping of my clothing.

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