Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Truth & Dirty Little Secrets

1. Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed.
2. Dependably discreet.
3. Operating in a hidden or confidential manner: a secret agent.
4. Not expressed; inward: their secret thoughts.
5. Not frequented; secluded: wandered about the secret byways of Paris.
6. Known or shared only by the initiated: secret rites.
7. Beyond ordinary understanding; mysterious.
8. Containing information, the unauthorized disclosure of which poses a grave threat to national security.
1. Something kept hidden from others or known only to oneself or to a few.
2. Something that remains beyond understanding or explanation; a mystery.
3. A method or formula on which success is based: The secret of this dish is in the sauce.
4. Secret A variable prayer said after the Offertory and before the Preface in the Mass.


n. pl. truths
1. Conformity to fact or actuality.
2. A statement proven to be or accepted as true.
3. Sincerity; integrity.
4. Fidelity to an original or standard.
a. Reality; actuality.
b. often Truth That which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence.


The history of my life really isn't a secret. I just choose not to talk about it much, but then again, the definition of secret is to be kept hidden from others or known only to oneself or to a few, so I suppose then I have been keeping a secret. I gloss things over in an attempt to keep from hearing "oh that's so horrible" or other sympathetic type remarks. Also, if I don't get into the reality of it all I save the face of others, because after all, I'm strong enough to know and live the truth; others aren't that fortunate.

But, you see, Truth is two-fold. Truth is a statement that has been proven OR accepted to be true. The truth doesn't doesn't have to be true to be accepted as the truth. So long as I play my part in the lie than others believe it to be the truth, but that's just not honorable. That's not what I was taught as a "Christian"...I was taught, as a Christian, that the truth is the truth, not an accepted lie. So then, if the truth is actually the accepted lie as truth then is Christianity a lie? Is Judaism the truth? Islam? Buddhism? You'll find whole masses of persons in each denomination that believes they have the truth, otherwise, if they didn't believe they had the truth they'd seek out truth elsewhere, because no one likes to be lied to. Also, no one likes to be lied about, unless of course that lie makes them out to be better than what they are - that my friend is the truth.

So, having said that, I'm left in a precarious spot. Do I tell the truth and free myself of the burden, anger, & hurt? Do I keep the secret, thus perpetuate the lie? See, telling the truth would shatter some people's idea of what they think to be the truth. Reputations would be tarnished. In the end I always come off as sounding like a bitter bitch, but then again, maybe I am. These secret truths - otherwise known as lies - ruined my life, my relationships, and cost me the lives of some children whom never got the chance to breath fresh air. So that what? Some high-minded, well respected persons didn't get their dirt exposed?

I could go with the attitude that I don't give a flying fuck about their feelings and their image, but where that's not entirely false, it's also not entirely true. Why should I stoop to their level? By not stooping to their mudslinging, snobbery, and exclusivity I am triumphant in proving myself to be the better person. Will anyone really know it? Not here, not now.

It really doesn't matter what my fellow man thinks of me, nor what I think of them. It doesn't matter what the accepted truth is amongst my peers - my fellow, imperfect humans. The only truth is the one that I'm judged by upon my personal Judgment Day. Now, whether I find myself burning to all eternity or living in heavenly splendor, reincarnated back into the form of a rat or a queen, or even just simply die knowing nothing more or live forever in a perfect earthly paradise, either way I won't know until it happens, granted I know that I got there when I get there.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
-Shakesphere, As you Like It, Act II, Scene VII

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