So, about 2yrs ago I broke the grand Facebook laws of no one under age 13 being allowed on the site and set up an account for my son, who was only 8 at the time...he wasn't even aware he had an account until about 6 months ago and has only known the password to log into it on his own for the last month or so...I'd created to assist myself in winning some movie tickets (which worked) and all has been well in the world. He has 12 "friends"...myself, Brian, a few adult friends of ours & some of their kids who also have Facebook pages at various ages.
Whatever. I control whom has access to his page, who is his friend, and read all the private messages on a fairly regular basis....as he ages and gets more involved with talking to people on there and adding friends that I don't know and especially if I don't also know their parents I'll check it more often. I know everything he does on there and it keeps my timeline from being flooded with his posts from Farmville, Angry Birds, Happy Aquarium, etc...because he & Mikaila love to play the apps.
You know, being the responsible for my child's online activities. Duh. Until he is 18 years old I will check his Facebook account as often as I please and will know everything that is going on as far as his online activities are concerned and will check on his online friends and their postings.
ANYWAYS...now that I've said my piece about that onto the real potatoes of this post.
Today was one of those days when I decided I'd check out his private messages, especially since he seemed to be quite annoyed with one little gal...she's quite inappropriate for my taste, so she's since been deleted from his friend list.
But I found some real gems in some other conversations he'd had with another gal that I do know...
K is the daughter of a friend of ours/niece to some other friends...she recently made a trip to the Gulf Coast with some family of hers and she has a younger brother who is the same age as Mikeal, was even in his class this last school year...they were giving Mikeal the play by play...this is that conversation:
K: Well we didn't leave till 9 30
M: ok
K: And we didn't get to alabama till 1 in the afternoon
M: it only takes 3 &a half hours to get thereK: we had to do some stuff in tennessee so it took longer
M: ok
K: And we got to chuck e cheeses at 5
M: okkkk
K: Now we are back on the road
M: oooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
K: Y do u keep saying that?
M: there was nothing else to say
I absolutely cracked up at his frankness with them. Simple, direct, to the point.
And as I scrolled further back I came across this gem...it was AWESOME!
M: y dont you play games
K: idk just dnt wanna
M: what does idk stand for
K: i dnt know
M: yd you say it
So far though, after scrolling back as far as all the messages go...there's no word yet on who has the drug stash nor where the party is with the free alcohol...must dig deeper to find his alternate account that he uses to discuss those details.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Yes, I am Mom Enough.
I am Mom Enough to breastfeed my first child until we decided that was the end of it...just shy of 13 months.
I am Mom Enough to breastfeed my second child until it was determined we were both happier when she took a bottle - at less than 4 months old.
I am Mom Enough to go live out of a truck that didn't like to stay running because it was safer than living at home with my (ex) husband when my son was barely past a year old.
I am Mom Enough to accept help offered to me by complete strangers 600 miles from everything I was familiar with. Persons I'd only spoken to in a chatroom and over the phone.
I am Mom Enough to juggle my child between daycares & friends so that I could work 2 fulltime & a part time jobs a week to keep a roof over his head.
I am Mom Enough to move another 600 miles back home, where the potential threat was high, but I had to get my divorce finalized once & for all.
I am Mom Enough to put my foot down with hospital directors, judges, lawyers, and doctors who think their shit doesn't stink, while pregnant, to make sure my husband got the medical care he needed, not just what was convenient them. And won.
I am Mom Enough to raise two bright, respectful, well-behaved, children, who know when I make a threat I'm going to follow through with it.
I am Mom Enough to know when something isn't right with my children & press for different medical testing & opinions until the problem is corrected.
I am Mom Enough to know when I am unable to adequately homeschool my children, so make sure they attend public school & excel at it by supplementing that education any way I know how, everywhere we may go.
I am Mom Enough to know when it's time to uproot and make some serious life changes to better my family.
I am Mom Enough to juggle going to school, starting a business, taking care of my children, loving my husband, having a social life, and keeping a sanitary home.
I am Mom Enough to recognize my Mommy Experience is TOTALLY different from yours and I RESPECT that.
I am Mom Enough to roll my eyes at your judgments towards me and know you're not Mom Enough to handle MY Mom Experience.
I am Mom Enough to know that in no way am I able to handle your Mom Experience, even if the only reason it may be so sensational is because you have a judgmental ego and think you're so much better than the rest of us.
Every Mom is different. Every Mom has a story. Every Mom has their own style.
Motherhood is a demanding job. Some Moms are given the luxury of being able to sit in their home, with their nannies, maids, and personal chefs so that they can pass judgment on Moms who don't live to their standard of mothering. Other Moms have two children, only 11 months apart, one a premie, are an active duty Marine, and married to an active duty Marine and selflessly spend every moment they can with their children because they never know when they'll be given 3 hours notice to put their life on the line so that judgmental bitches can judge them freely without fear of persecution, because that is their choice.
I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to just keep their children alive.
I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to get their children the specialized services their child deserves.
I am Mom Enough to admit that where I'm sure I'd do it if I had to, I am thankful I don't have to face such fights at this time.
I am Mom Enough to admit that I lucked out with our current doctor, school system, and various therapists. Not once have I had to fight to have specialized tests run on either of my children - if I asked for a second opinion or specific testing they've each willingly obliged. Not once have I had to press for therapy services for Mikaila...not only that but when her teachers noticed that her motor skills were not up to par with her NT classmates they pressed for physical therapy - I had to sign two papers, they did the rest.
I am Mom Enough to admit I've screwed up along the way.
I am Mom Enough to know that the only Moms who haven't screwed up along the way are the ones ROYALLY screwed up.
I am also Mom enough to know that Time Magazine & Yahoo! News are so full of crapola the water & sewage treatment plants must be jealous.
Live on Moms & Enjoy! You only get one chance to raise the adults of the future! When it comes down to it, we all need therapy - some of us can embrace the insanity that is life - others, well...
I am Mom Enough to breastfeed my second child until it was determined we were both happier when she took a bottle - at less than 4 months old.
I am Mom Enough to go live out of a truck that didn't like to stay running because it was safer than living at home with my (ex) husband when my son was barely past a year old.
I am Mom Enough to accept help offered to me by complete strangers 600 miles from everything I was familiar with. Persons I'd only spoken to in a chatroom and over the phone.
I am Mom Enough to juggle my child between daycares & friends so that I could work 2 fulltime & a part time jobs a week to keep a roof over his head.
I am Mom Enough to move another 600 miles back home, where the potential threat was high, but I had to get my divorce finalized once & for all.
I am Mom Enough to put my foot down with hospital directors, judges, lawyers, and doctors who think their shit doesn't stink, while pregnant, to make sure my husband got the medical care he needed, not just what was convenient them. And won.
I am Mom Enough to raise two bright, respectful, well-behaved, children, who know when I make a threat I'm going to follow through with it.
I am Mom Enough to know when something isn't right with my children & press for different medical testing & opinions until the problem is corrected.
I am Mom Enough to know when I am unable to adequately homeschool my children, so make sure they attend public school & excel at it by supplementing that education any way I know how, everywhere we may go.
I am Mom Enough to know when it's time to uproot and make some serious life changes to better my family.
I am Mom Enough to juggle going to school, starting a business, taking care of my children, loving my husband, having a social life, and keeping a sanitary home.
I am Mom Enough to recognize my Mommy Experience is TOTALLY different from yours and I RESPECT that.
I am Mom Enough to roll my eyes at your judgments towards me and know you're not Mom Enough to handle MY Mom Experience.
I am Mom Enough to know that in no way am I able to handle your Mom Experience, even if the only reason it may be so sensational is because you have a judgmental ego and think you're so much better than the rest of us.
Every Mom is different. Every Mom has a story. Every Mom has their own style.
Motherhood is a demanding job. Some Moms are given the luxury of being able to sit in their home, with their nannies, maids, and personal chefs so that they can pass judgment on Moms who don't live to their standard of mothering. Other Moms have two children, only 11 months apart, one a premie, are an active duty Marine, and married to an active duty Marine and selflessly spend every moment they can with their children because they never know when they'll be given 3 hours notice to put their life on the line so that judgmental bitches can judge them freely without fear of persecution, because that is their choice.
I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to just keep their children alive.
I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to get their children the specialized services their child deserves.
I am Mom Enough to admit that where I'm sure I'd do it if I had to, I am thankful I don't have to face such fights at this time.
I am Mom Enough to admit that I lucked out with our current doctor, school system, and various therapists. Not once have I had to fight to have specialized tests run on either of my children - if I asked for a second opinion or specific testing they've each willingly obliged. Not once have I had to press for therapy services for Mikaila...not only that but when her teachers noticed that her motor skills were not up to par with her NT classmates they pressed for physical therapy - I had to sign two papers, they did the rest.
I am Mom Enough to admit I've screwed up along the way.
I am Mom Enough to know that the only Moms who haven't screwed up along the way are the ones ROYALLY screwed up.
I am also Mom enough to know that Time Magazine & Yahoo! News are so full of crapola the water & sewage treatment plants must be jealous.
Live on Moms & Enjoy! You only get one chance to raise the adults of the future! When it comes down to it, we all need therapy - some of us can embrace the insanity that is life - others, well...
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Riding in Cars with Boys vs Girls
So the other day I had this experience of riding in cars with boys...
That was followed up with a bit of sadness as my momma cat quit taking care of her babies....not sure if she quit producing milk or what her deal is, but it's the same fate that befell her first litter last year. Anyways, I took the kids with me to the vet's office to get some kitten nursing bottles.
Mikeal (remember, 9yo boy) asks me: "If you get breast implants can you still feed your babies?"
Me: "I imagine so, it's just a silicone water balloon put in behind the mammary glands that produce the milk."
Mikeal: "Can they pop?"
Me: "I've heard of it happening."
Mikeal: "So the baby can bite it & it pop, then drink the water?"
Me: "Not quite..."
Mikeal: "So if you have breast implants you're always ready for a water balloon fight!"
Me: "No, Mikeal. The implants are surgically implanted, under the skin & tissues, then sewn up over. Also - they're silicone, that stuff daddy uses to seal the gaskets & such on cars to keep water & fluids from leaking out everywhere"
Mikeal: "Okay, whatever"
....
Yesterday we went to a friend's house to go swimming & ended up leaving Mikeal there with the boys to spend the night & brought home two girls, age 5 & 7 to spend the night with Mikaila.
This morning I took the girls home.
I noticed my neighbor home & so I stopped for a minute to see if his wife was home.
5yo: "Why are we going here?"
7yo: "This isn't my house."
I'm trying to talk to my neighbor asking about his wife & chit chat for a minute about the insane prices of buying replacement parts for lawnmowers in the summer (He repairs lawnmowers on the side.)
I bid him good day, we go back on our way...
7yo: "Why did we stop here?"
Me: "I just needed to talk to his wife for a minute, but she's not home."
5yo: "Why is she not home?"
Me: " She's probably at her son's house to help take care of him & his kids."
7yo: "Why does she take care of them? If he's grown and has kids doesn't he have a wife?"
Me: "He's very sick & his wife lives somewhere else."
5yo: "Why is he sick?"
Sadly these girls' grandfather just passed away a couple of months ago from lung cancer. My neighbor's son has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, 3 kids under 10, & his wife is a pillhead that in order for him to continue to receive hospice care she's not allowed on the property because she steals his pain meds...I then try to tread delicately because the girls are not my kids & I know their parents are very closed when it comes to discussing a lot of things....
Me: "He has cancer & can't do a lot of things by himself."
5yo: "Does he cough because of it?"
Me: "I don't know"
5yo: "Does it make him throw up?"
Me: "Maybe"
5yo: "I got sick and it made me cough and cough and I throwed-up"
Me: "It's different than that. You don't have cancer yours got better with lots of rest & medicines your mommy gave you."
5yo: "My daddy got me the medicine when I throwed-up & then I drank some Sprite & it made me throwed-up more."
7yo: "It's THREW UP, not throwed-up"
Argument ensues about verbs and proper tenses of verbs.
We had only made it about 1.5miles from the house by this point....and it's a 8 mile drive to their house.
I turn on the radio and the conversation turned to what everyone was singing about on the radio.
I'd much rather ride in cars with boys...they ask the easy questions.
That was followed up with a bit of sadness as my momma cat quit taking care of her babies....not sure if she quit producing milk or what her deal is, but it's the same fate that befell her first litter last year. Anyways, I took the kids with me to the vet's office to get some kitten nursing bottles.
Mikeal (remember, 9yo boy) asks me: "If you get breast implants can you still feed your babies?"
Me: "I imagine so, it's just a silicone water balloon put in behind the mammary glands that produce the milk."
Mikeal: "Can they pop?"
Me: "I've heard of it happening."
Mikeal: "So the baby can bite it & it pop, then drink the water?"
Me: "Not quite..."
Mikeal: "So if you have breast implants you're always ready for a water balloon fight!"
Me: "No, Mikeal. The implants are surgically implanted, under the skin & tissues, then sewn up over. Also - they're silicone, that stuff daddy uses to seal the gaskets & such on cars to keep water & fluids from leaking out everywhere"
Mikeal: "Okay, whatever"
....
Yesterday we went to a friend's house to go swimming & ended up leaving Mikeal there with the boys to spend the night & brought home two girls, age 5 & 7 to spend the night with Mikaila.
This morning I took the girls home.
I noticed my neighbor home & so I stopped for a minute to see if his wife was home.
5yo: "Why are we going here?"
7yo: "This isn't my house."
I'm trying to talk to my neighbor asking about his wife & chit chat for a minute about the insane prices of buying replacement parts for lawnmowers in the summer (He repairs lawnmowers on the side.)
I bid him good day, we go back on our way...
7yo: "Why did we stop here?"
Me: "I just needed to talk to his wife for a minute, but she's not home."
5yo: "Why is she not home?"
Me: " She's probably at her son's house to help take care of him & his kids."
7yo: "Why does she take care of them? If he's grown and has kids doesn't he have a wife?"
Me: "He's very sick & his wife lives somewhere else."
5yo: "Why is he sick?"
Sadly these girls' grandfather just passed away a couple of months ago from lung cancer. My neighbor's son has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, 3 kids under 10, & his wife is a pillhead that in order for him to continue to receive hospice care she's not allowed on the property because she steals his pain meds...I then try to tread delicately because the girls are not my kids & I know their parents are very closed when it comes to discussing a lot of things....
Me: "He has cancer & can't do a lot of things by himself."
5yo: "Does he cough because of it?"
Me: "I don't know"
5yo: "Does it make him throw up?"
Me: "Maybe"
5yo: "I got sick and it made me cough and cough and I throwed-up"
Me: "It's different than that. You don't have cancer yours got better with lots of rest & medicines your mommy gave you."
5yo: "My daddy got me the medicine when I throwed-up & then I drank some Sprite & it made me throwed-up more."
7yo: "It's THREW UP, not throwed-up"
Argument ensues about verbs and proper tenses of verbs.
We had only made it about 1.5miles from the house by this point....and it's a 8 mile drive to their house.
I turn on the radio and the conversation turned to what everyone was singing about on the radio.
I'd much rather ride in cars with boys...they ask the easy questions.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tennessee Enchiladas
I call them Tennessee Enchiladas because I've had real Mexican enchiladas & well, they have cheese & tortillas in common ....and are saucy.
Ingredients:
1 can of:
~ Cream of Chicken Soup
~ Cream of Celery Soup
~ Cream of Mushroom Soup
~ Cream of Cheddar Soup
~ 7oz Green Chilis
~ Black Beans - drained & rinsed
~ Diced Tomatoes
1 packet Enchilada seasoning
1 lb ground meat - your choice or cooked, shredded chicken
30 flour tortillas
3lbs shredded cheese (or so)
3 cups milk
Directions:
In a large pan cook meat thoroughly with enchilada seasoning. Stir in Green chilis, tomatoes, & drained, rinsed, black beans.
Simmer about 3 minutes. Add in all soups & milk. Boil about 5 minutes, stirring well.
Cover the bottoms of two 9x13inch pans with a thin layer of the sauce. Add cheese to the tortillas & roll-up, packing tightly into the pans, until pans are full. Just a small half-handful or so of cheese for each tortilla. Using the remaining soup cover the tortillas.
Bake 30-45 minutes until bubbly.
I just bake one pan & freeze the other for use later.
Ingredients:
1 can of:
~ Cream of Chicken Soup
~ Cream of Celery Soup
~ Cream of Mushroom Soup
~ Cream of Cheddar Soup
~ 7oz Green Chilis
~ Black Beans - drained & rinsed
~ Diced Tomatoes
1 packet Enchilada seasoning
1 lb ground meat - your choice or cooked, shredded chicken
30 flour tortillas
3lbs shredded cheese (or so)
3 cups milk
Directions:
In a large pan cook meat thoroughly with enchilada seasoning. Stir in Green chilis, tomatoes, & drained, rinsed, black beans.
Simmer about 3 minutes. Add in all soups & milk. Boil about 5 minutes, stirring well.
Cover the bottoms of two 9x13inch pans with a thin layer of the sauce. Add cheese to the tortillas & roll-up, packing tightly into the pans, until pans are full. Just a small half-handful or so of cheese for each tortilla. Using the remaining soup cover the tortillas.
Bake 30-45 minutes until bubbly.
I just bake one pan & freeze the other for use later.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Riding in Cars with Boys
No, this is not a movie review.
Truth be told I've never seen the movie, but it's a fitting title to this entry.
I also realize I went a few weeks there where I was blogging daily and then I just STOPped again. That's just how I roll.
I must first set this stage.
Two years ago my family & I moved here to Tennessee. We rent a lovely farmhouse from a gal I had met on a mommy board forum thingy...
This gal has 4 sons, ages 13, 14, 16, & 20, and one grandson, age 16 months; complete with her bipolar husband that she's known since at least middle school, two dogs, two rabbits, 50+ fish, a mouse, a hamster, a tarantula, and two cats). Top that reality TV!
Long story short my family is an extension of her family...her VERY extensive family of in-laws & blood relatives...we all celebrate all the holidays together, kids' birthdays, random weekends, the whole works. I ABSOLUTELY love it & them! If most of my in-laws & half my family weren't destined to live in the nuthouse to avoid prison I imagine it'd be how I would imagine my family life being - some petty drama, but everyone still loved, honored, & respected each other & didn't even have to pretend to do these things!
In short, off the top of my head, there are, counting my two kids, about 12 boys - ages - 21, 20, 17, 16, almost 15, 13, 10, 10, 9, 9, 4, 2, & 16mo ....There is also almost as many girls - ages - 18, 15, 14, 12, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and almost 2. And one baby on the way. Plus a dozen or so on the sidelines that fade in & out there...hey, I've been here 2 years, see them all at least a dozen times a year & I still don't have the count down totally. There is also 15 or so adults for this particular batch, plus another dozen or so that belong to the dozen or so other kids... In short - a LOT of people. I've lived in towns that didn't have as many people in it.
But they all have their various levels of comfort, especially when it comes to things of a sexual manner. I'm reasonably open with my kids, it doesn't bother or embarrass me to speak frankly/clinically with them & will answer or correct whatever misconception they may have about anatomy, sex, & child birth - I figure if I do well enough I won't have grandchildren until they're at least in their mid/late-20s. RIGHT?
So, on with this...
On Friday the 20th my Carbon Kitty had kittens - 5 to be exact; 4 of which survived the birth.
awww...
On Saturday, the 21st, we were invited to the birthday party of one of the boys that just turned 9.
All went well at the party. As the party wound down, that was held at the "MeMaw's" house, Mikeal wanted one of the 10yo boys to come spend the night with us. I discussed it with his mom & things were settled, such was to happen.
Now, MeMaw lives about halfway between where I live & where my landlady lives (8miles from each of our houses to MeMaw's). My landlady's just turned 16yo boy works about 1/2 a mile from my house & had to be at work by 4:30, but my landlady had to run home first & take care of some stuff there, before having to run him back out 16 miles, yada yada... Being the awesome person I am I volunteered to take the 16yo to work - hell, so long as I don't speed past the driveway it's really not at all out of my way.
So I left the party with 16, 10, & 9 year old boys & a 4 year old girl in my car...
I start going over the rules at my house because this particular 10yo boy has never spent the night at my place, plus we have BRAND new kittens.
I'm explaining about how there is NO TOUCHING ALLOWED of the kittens when my son pipes up to explain how our cat POOPED out the kittens....this is that conversation:
Mikeal: Yea, Carbon pooped out the kittens!
16yo boy: *snicker*
Mikaila: NO WAY!
10yo boy: Dude - That's GROSS!
16yo : *snicker laugh*
Mikeal: It's true, all babies are pooped out!
Me: They're not pooped out, Mikeal.
Mikaila: EWWWWW
Mikeal: Well, they came out of her butt! (said all know-it-all-like)
16yo: *BWAHAHAHAHAHA* *snicker*
Mikeal to Mikaila: Momma pooped you out!
Mikaila: *laughing* NO WAY!
Me: No, I did not poop either of you out - I had cesareans with both of you, remember. Kinda like how LugNut had the puppies - a doctor went in, cut a line across her stomach, then through the uterus, & pulled out the babies.
Mikeal: BUT Carbon POOPED OUT THE BABIES! I SAW IT!
16yo: *just howling & snickering*
10yo: *mind just blown in shock & questions*
Me: No, she did not. See, women have what's known as a vagina & vaginal cavity that connects to a uterus where the babies grow...when it's time the babies are pushed down the vaginal cavity & come out the vagina, which is totally different from the butt where poop comes out.
16yo: *SNICKERING*
Mikeal:
*wait for it*
*Get over your shock that I just told a car full of boys all about vaginas, and used the word vagina & vaginal cavity & uterus*
Breathing now?
Mikeal: Oh, so babies are peed out!
10yo: Well, if they're not pooped out, they have to be peed out.
16yo: *HOWLING*
Me: Dammit! I almost missed the driveway....
16yo: Yea, it's hard to see the sign until you're right up on it.
16yo exits the car & goes into work
There is no more talk about vaginas, pooping babies, peeing babies, uterus-es, and the like for the remainder of the 10yo boy's stay at our house.
At some point in time I fully expect to hear from the 10yo's mother...maybe. Of course I'm good enough friends with the 16yo's mother that I'll likely tell her the next time I see her in person & within a week or two that whole family will know all about it....and poor Mikeal won't have any more friends spend the night here...at least not of this batch of boys. (No, that last part won't happen as I'm sure they all know that I don't shy away from it...FUCK - they'll likely send the boys over here more often so they can avoid these talks!)
This post was brought to you thanks to @jillsmo & her post: "And no information was actually imparted" ...I hadn't thought about making it into a post until after I started my comment there.
Truth be told I've never seen the movie, but it's a fitting title to this entry.
I also realize I went a few weeks there where I was blogging daily and then I just STOPped again. That's just how I roll.
I must first set this stage.
Two years ago my family & I moved here to Tennessee. We rent a lovely farmhouse from a gal I had met on a mommy board forum thingy...
This gal has 4 sons, ages 13, 14, 16, & 20, and one grandson, age 16 months; complete with her bipolar husband that she's known since at least middle school, two dogs, two rabbits, 50+ fish, a mouse, a hamster, a tarantula, and two cats). Top that reality TV!
Long story short my family is an extension of her family...her VERY extensive family of in-laws & blood relatives...we all celebrate all the holidays together, kids' birthdays, random weekends, the whole works. I ABSOLUTELY love it & them! If most of my in-laws & half my family weren't destined to live in the nuthouse to avoid prison I imagine it'd be how I would imagine my family life being - some petty drama, but everyone still loved, honored, & respected each other & didn't even have to pretend to do these things!
In short, off the top of my head, there are, counting my two kids, about 12 boys - ages - 21, 20, 17, 16, almost 15, 13, 10, 10, 9, 9, 4, 2, & 16mo ....There is also almost as many girls - ages - 18, 15, 14, 12, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and almost 2. And one baby on the way. Plus a dozen or so on the sidelines that fade in & out there...hey, I've been here 2 years, see them all at least a dozen times a year & I still don't have the count down totally. There is also 15 or so adults for this particular batch, plus another dozen or so that belong to the dozen or so other kids... In short - a LOT of people. I've lived in towns that didn't have as many people in it.
But they all have their various levels of comfort, especially when it comes to things of a sexual manner. I'm reasonably open with my kids, it doesn't bother or embarrass me to speak frankly/clinically with them & will answer or correct whatever misconception they may have about anatomy, sex, & child birth - I figure if I do well enough I won't have grandchildren until they're at least in their mid/late-20s. RIGHT?
So, on with this...
On Friday the 20th my Carbon Kitty had kittens - 5 to be exact; 4 of which survived the birth.
awww...
On Saturday, the 21st, we were invited to the birthday party of one of the boys that just turned 9.
All went well at the party. As the party wound down, that was held at the "MeMaw's" house, Mikeal wanted one of the 10yo boys to come spend the night with us. I discussed it with his mom & things were settled, such was to happen.
Now, MeMaw lives about halfway between where I live & where my landlady lives (8miles from each of our houses to MeMaw's). My landlady's just turned 16yo boy works about 1/2 a mile from my house & had to be at work by 4:30, but my landlady had to run home first & take care of some stuff there, before having to run him back out 16 miles, yada yada... Being the awesome person I am I volunteered to take the 16yo to work - hell, so long as I don't speed past the driveway it's really not at all out of my way.
So I left the party with 16, 10, & 9 year old boys & a 4 year old girl in my car...
I start going over the rules at my house because this particular 10yo boy has never spent the night at my place, plus we have BRAND new kittens.
I'm explaining about how there is NO TOUCHING ALLOWED of the kittens when my son pipes up to explain how our cat POOPED out the kittens....this is that conversation:
Mikeal: Yea, Carbon pooped out the kittens!
16yo boy: *snicker*
Mikaila: NO WAY!
10yo boy: Dude - That's GROSS!
16yo : *snicker laugh*
Mikeal: It's true, all babies are pooped out!
Me: They're not pooped out, Mikeal.
Mikaila: EWWWWW
Mikeal: Well, they came out of her butt! (said all know-it-all-like)
16yo: *BWAHAHAHAHAHA* *snicker*
Mikeal to Mikaila: Momma pooped you out!
Mikaila: *laughing* NO WAY!
Me: No, I did not poop either of you out - I had cesareans with both of you, remember. Kinda like how LugNut had the puppies - a doctor went in, cut a line across her stomach, then through the uterus, & pulled out the babies.
Mikeal: BUT Carbon POOPED OUT THE BABIES! I SAW IT!
16yo: *just howling & snickering*
10yo: *mind just blown in shock & questions*
Me: No, she did not. See, women have what's known as a vagina & vaginal cavity that connects to a uterus where the babies grow...when it's time the babies are pushed down the vaginal cavity & come out the vagina, which is totally different from the butt where poop comes out.
16yo: *SNICKERING*
Mikeal:
*wait for it*
*Get over your shock that I just told a car full of boys all about vaginas, and used the word vagina & vaginal cavity & uterus*
Breathing now?
Mikeal: Oh, so babies are peed out!
10yo: Well, if they're not pooped out, they have to be peed out.
16yo: *HOWLING*
Me: Dammit! I almost missed the driveway....
16yo: Yea, it's hard to see the sign until you're right up on it.
16yo exits the car & goes into work
There is no more talk about vaginas, pooping babies, peeing babies, uterus-es, and the like for the remainder of the 10yo boy's stay at our house.
At some point in time I fully expect to hear from the 10yo's mother...maybe. Of course I'm good enough friends with the 16yo's mother that I'll likely tell her the next time I see her in person & within a week or two that whole family will know all about it....and poor Mikeal won't have any more friends spend the night here...at least not of this batch of boys. (No, that last part won't happen as I'm sure they all know that I don't shy away from it...FUCK - they'll likely send the boys over here more often so they can avoid these talks!)
This post was brought to you thanks to @jillsmo & her post: "And no information was actually imparted" ...I hadn't thought about making it into a post until after I started my comment there.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Introducing Miss Zoey Frances
My newest niece addition is here! Isn't she precious?
My newest niece's momma is my new labor hero! Today was her due date, but she started having semi-regular contractions on Good Friday...went to the hospital on Sunday, then sent home because the contractions backed off after she was given some Nubain for pain. They continued, got bad again, went back to the hospital on Monday, same story. On Wednesday the contractions were fierce & 2min apart for over an hour...so went back to the hospital & that time the hospital decided they'd keep her. Thursday morning she wasn't making much progress so they started pitocin...Thursday evening the doc came in saw no progress since that morning, so broke her water. 6hrs later Miss Zoey arrived...with no other drugs.
Yes...nearly 7 days of labor contractions, no drugs, and Miss Zoey came into this world weighing 8pounds 1 ounce and just shy of 20 inches long. (Momma did have to get two internal stitches)...
I'm told my brother is handling it well, but is quite the helicopter. I really don't blame him though. His first love had one, possibly two kids with him before she ran off with some other man, leaving no forwarding information. Then last year his wife ran off when she was 6 months pregnant after the state told her they would be taking the new baby from her upon her birth after they terminated her rights to her oldest that she'd lost custody of before she & my brother met - she kept up the drugs & stripper lifestyle; even was part of a big prostitution ring at the 'massage' parlour she was working at as a 'receptionist' around the time she found out she was pregnant...and Daniel has only heard that she filed for a birth certificate - outside of that no one knows anything. He's been with this new gal since not long after that all happened & things seem to be well enough. At least I've never heard my mom say anything bad about Zoey's momma and they've been living at my mom's house for a while, so that's definitely something - my mom has something bad to say about everyone.
I really hope it works out for all of them this time & that their local economy straightens up so that everyone can get back to work on a regular/full time basis. And I'm so thankful that he finally found a gal that the paternity of his child isn't in question & seems to actually have a head on her shoulders.
My newest niece's momma is my new labor hero! Today was her due date, but she started having semi-regular contractions on Good Friday...went to the hospital on Sunday, then sent home because the contractions backed off after she was given some Nubain for pain. They continued, got bad again, went back to the hospital on Monday, same story. On Wednesday the contractions were fierce & 2min apart for over an hour...so went back to the hospital & that time the hospital decided they'd keep her. Thursday morning she wasn't making much progress so they started pitocin...Thursday evening the doc came in saw no progress since that morning, so broke her water. 6hrs later Miss Zoey arrived...with no other drugs.
Yes...nearly 7 days of labor contractions, no drugs, and Miss Zoey came into this world weighing 8pounds 1 ounce and just shy of 20 inches long. (Momma did have to get two internal stitches)...
I'm told my brother is handling it well, but is quite the helicopter. I really don't blame him though. His first love had one, possibly two kids with him before she ran off with some other man, leaving no forwarding information. Then last year his wife ran off when she was 6 months pregnant after the state told her they would be taking the new baby from her upon her birth after they terminated her rights to her oldest that she'd lost custody of before she & my brother met - she kept up the drugs & stripper lifestyle; even was part of a big prostitution ring at the 'massage' parlour she was working at as a 'receptionist' around the time she found out she was pregnant...and Daniel has only heard that she filed for a birth certificate - outside of that no one knows anything. He's been with this new gal since not long after that all happened & things seem to be well enough. At least I've never heard my mom say anything bad about Zoey's momma and they've been living at my mom's house for a while, so that's definitely something - my mom has something bad to say about everyone.
I really hope it works out for all of them this time & that their local economy straightens up so that everyone can get back to work on a regular/full time basis. And I'm so thankful that he finally found a gal that the paternity of his child isn't in question & seems to actually have a head on her shoulders.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Sensational Crab Cakes
I really wish I would have known crab cakes were SUPER easy! ZOMG! It took about 5 minutes to assemble and another 5 minutes to cook for each batch. This recipe will make about 18 palm-sized crab cakes...if you make them smaller it'll make more; if you make them bigger it'll make less.. And really, this is just a guide, feel free to add or omit what you like, I'm just sharing the way I made them.
Ingredients:
1 - 8oz container of Daisy Light Sour Cream
1 cup Mayo (not that Miracle Whip stuff)
3 Tablespoons bottled horseradish
2 packages of Crab Classic Chunk style crab meat; well diced
(yes, I know it's fake crab, but it has a nice taste)
2 sleeves of saltine crackers finely smashed
(I used child labor to smash them in Ziplock bags)
handful of finely diced/chopped red onion
1 Tablespoon dried parsley
1/4 teaspoon or so of salt
1/2 teaspoon or more of ground black pepper
Olive oil
Directions:
Set aside about 1/2 a cup of the crushed crackers into a small bowl.
In a large mixing bowl add all the other ingredients. Mix with a handmixer on medium speed until very well blended. IF you don't have a hand mixer whisk everything but the crab, onion, & crackers together, once well whisked add crab, crackers, & onions, mix well.
Pat into about palm sized patties, then coat in cracker crumbs that were set aside.
In a large skillet heat a few Tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Carefully lay your crab cakes into the hot oil. When the cakes start to turn just slightly brown around the edges flip the cakes, wait a few minutes, remove from the pan. Serve.
I served ours over a bed of couscous that had been lightly seasoned with diced garlic, olive oil, & parsley.
Ingredients:
1 - 8oz container of Daisy Light Sour Cream
1 cup Mayo (not that Miracle Whip stuff)
3 Tablespoons bottled horseradish
2 packages of Crab Classic Chunk style crab meat; well diced
(yes, I know it's fake crab, but it has a nice taste)
2 sleeves of saltine crackers finely smashed
(I used child labor to smash them in Ziplock bags)
handful of finely diced/chopped red onion
1 Tablespoon dried parsley
1/4 teaspoon or so of salt
1/2 teaspoon or more of ground black pepper
Olive oil
Directions:
Set aside about 1/2 a cup of the crushed crackers into a small bowl.
In a large mixing bowl add all the other ingredients. Mix with a handmixer on medium speed until very well blended. IF you don't have a hand mixer whisk everything but the crab, onion, & crackers together, once well whisked add crab, crackers, & onions, mix well.
Pat into about palm sized patties, then coat in cracker crumbs that were set aside.
In a large skillet heat a few Tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Carefully lay your crab cakes into the hot oil. When the cakes start to turn just slightly brown around the edges flip the cakes, wait a few minutes, remove from the pan. Serve.
I served ours over a bed of couscous that had been lightly seasoned with diced garlic, olive oil, & parsley.
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