First I must put a disclaimer here :
This is a very RAW post, I could use better language in it, but I'm very passionate about my loathing of my ex, there are things in this post that are quite shocking, most of you do not know the whole history of things, and it is in no way pretty and I'm not going to take the time to sugar coat it. This blog post is also a copy and paste job from a forum or two that I am a member of, forums of women that have been very supportive of me and my family, so this post will seem a bit irratic and a few bits do repeat themselves. Brian did make his own blog entry, from his point of view of the court hearings. Also be warned that I typed up the greatest portions while going on very little sleep after moving from Oklahoma to Tennessee. Just so you know, this blog post is NOT for the faint of heart or those easily offended by things such as the hard truth and foul language at times.
*************************************
Posted on February 24th at 1am :
But not without starting the day off with a court circus.
Court started at 10...my ex called to tell the judge he'd be late...he showed up around 11...meaning he didn't even leave his place until time for court to start. He brought with him what looked like either his pimp or drug dealer. We had to go talk to the mediator. He kept trying to bring up all sorts of unrelavent junk...we were supposed to be negotiating the visitations. I FINALLY got a chance to say something without being interrupted ...ugh...and let the mediator know that we were moving to Tennessee, so that way before we got too far into the mediation we can work around that. My ex immediately spoke up asking if my husband was one of those men I had an orgy with I guess one of my old neighbors hallucinated walking in on me having an orgy in my living room at some point in time, IDK, anyways, that's how mediation kept going, every time I'd say something he'd pop in with something else of similar value...because my sex life after I left him really matters about him not visiting Mikeal... ...and then he went on about my dad...as if the fact that my dad was in prison for a while really matters about him visiting Mikeal ...anyways...It ended with my ex saying that he'd just give up his rights to Mikeal, he wants his parental rights terminated, he doesn't want to pay anymore child support, and is just okay with just paying half of the back support. I was all for it...am all for it...he's not paid me much of anything for the last 6 years and Mikeal isn't any worse for the wear, so I really don't care, him requesting his rights to be terminated is AWESOME for us...so we signed the papers...went before the judge. The judge rejected it because my ex has to pay a lawyer to draw up the proper legal paperwork to terminate his rights....My ex was all over going for that, promised the judge he'd have that done in no time. Fine...I really don't care. I don't even mind having to make the drive out there for court if I have to. The judge then informed him that even if he has his rights terminated he's still responsible for paying child support until Mikeal is adopted. So I'm going to work this into our favor because Brian has every intention of adopting Mikeal, we've just had an issue getting my ex to agree to terminate his rights and the like, plus we've not had the extra $2500 to pay the lawyer for the adoption. I'm hoping to convince my ex that we'll drop 50-100% of all of the back child support if he'll have the paperwork drawn up for Brian to sign for the adoption.
There's more BS that went on in the courtroom, but I just finished what turned out to be an 11 hour drive, after two hours of court, after getting up at 7 this morning, so I'm not completely in my brain right now. But we're at Chiney's place and going to sleep soon.
I also forgot to add in there that my ex kept going on that he has a new baby on the way...I feel BAD for the new gal... Mikeal was also in the courthouse & courtroom with us, but my ex, who kept going on and on about how much he wants to see his son, how much he loves him, etc he didn't so much as even LOOK at Mikeal. My ex went on about how he wanted to have nothing more to do with any of us because he has a new baby, so he'll just start over there. Mikeal made just one comment about it: "Does that mean I no longer officially have to be a Gilliam and I can be a Bonds?" How's that for going on and on about caring about your child and he didn't even have the balls or courtesy to even look at Mikeal. What a fucking DOUCHE!
******
Posted February 24th - 10am
I'm hoping that my ex's does actually follow through with getting a lawyer and having his rights terminated, and I'll even go so far as to negotiate with him if he'd have his lawyer to draw up the adoption...(maybe I said that already, I didn't go back and re-read my post)
Like I said the other day though, I've had smarter rocks in the soles of my shoes while I'd walk through the cow fields.
We did try to talk to Mikeal about it, I asked him how he felt about what his sperm donor had said...he just shrugged his shoulders, said he "didn't really care, he's not my real daddy" ... He and Brian are an awesome father/son combo and Brian's been there for Mikeal for the last 5+ years, even when he and I weren't even living together , sleeping together, and seeing other people he'd help me out with Mikeal. If one was to compare Brian to my ex, that'd be like comparing the Siberian Tundra to the beaches of Cancun, Brian being the beach.
Mikeal hasn't seen his sperm donor since he was just barely 3 years old, for a weekend, before that Mikeal was just past 2 years old when my ex's mother took off with him...and then he hadn't seen the SOB since I left him when Mikeal was 13 months old.
My ex even tried to tell the judge that yea he might of abused me and beat me he took great care of Mikeal, that I shouldn't still be holding it against him because that was back in 2003 and he's a changed man...changed like you change one pair of muddy socks for another pair. Hell, he had his drug dealer come to court with him. Then my ex threatened me that he'll just keep taking me to court...it might cost us about $200 in gas and food to make the drive, not that big of a deal, especially where this is concerned, especially if he's paying his child support. Child support he still has to pay 100% of each and every month until Mikeal is adopted, without being late, for a minimum of 4 years or face going to jail for the remainder of that 4 years or having to pay the full amount owed before being released.
I just feel bad for the new chick because she'll wise up in time and be in my shoes, if she's smart.
******************
Posted February 25th - 1am
Now, to be clear, he hasn't had his rights terminated yet. The judge ripped up and trashed the mediation agreement because for him to have his rights terminated he has to go through a lawyer and have the proper legal paperwork drawn up...we're hoping to be able to negotiate with his lawyer...if he actually gets one and follows through...for him to have the adoption paperwork ready to go at the same time that way we can be completely free and clear of it all. Otherwise my ex can still have his rights terminated, but he'd still owe child support and I'll still have to keep dealing with that all the time until we were able to get a lawyer paid and go through with the adoption, but for us to file for his rights to be terminated my ex has to go 12+ months solid of no contact and not paying the child support, JUST as we reach the end of that 12 month stint my ex actually pays something and pulls some sort of shit like what he did the other day. THe 12 months would of been up on the 24th...court was on the 23rd. Time before that same story almost, my ex actually paid something on the 11th month. We've been working on this whole termination & adoption for 2 years now, each time with my ex proclaiming to everyone how horribly I did him, left him while he was in jail, he didn't want the divorce, I did this, I did that, he doesn't know how to get in contact, etc...BUT at the same time they can call and harass my mother, they can call and harass me at my home, there for a while, but not ONCE did they (my ex or his mother) actually follow through with anything. My ex claims his mother is messed up on pills, his mother claims that he's shooting up heroin and the like, neither one of them are talking to the other, HOWEVER my exMIL quit calling and making Mikeal promises as soon as my ex went back to jail this last November. My exFIL would call and tell me how hard I was making life on my ex by not dropping the child support, that I'm ruining my ex's life. My exMIL would tell me the same story.
I just thought it was almost a riot that my ex stood there and told the judge that yes, he'd beat me and the like, but it was because I had an attitude with him, because he knew I'd do this shit to him, but he always treated Mikeal so well....I guess he doesn't remember throwing the TV at me while I was pregnant with a daughter because he didn't want any more children...I didn't try to get pg for a second time with him, I was a week late on getting my 2nd depo shot after having Mikeal, and ended up getting pg during that time because he'd raped me. He doesn't remember driving off drunk after knocking me out when Mikeal was just a few weeks old, taking Mikeal off in the middle of an ice storm with nothing on him but a onesie, then getting into a wreck...Mikeal wasn't even in a car seat. He doesn't remember dislocating my jaw and arm while I was holding Mikeal, in the rain, in September when Mikeal was barely a year old, because he'd thrown, then locked us out of the house. Yea, he was a real stand up "father"...
I hate him. I don't really have an unkind bone in my body, but I hate that sorry waste of oxygen with every ounce of fiber in my being. But I'm working on trying to be VERY civil and mature in this whole matter so that 1) I can sleep with a clean conscious 2)I can be around to take care of Mikeal 3)so that I can make sure I have his life so totally and completely fucked up, as legally as possible, and get what I want out of the whole deal in the end....for him to have all ties completely cut and completely absolutely out of our lives...I know I won't get that from them if I ask for it, I know I won't, which is why I had to excuse myself from the mediation to "talk to my husband about what he'd offered", mainly so I could regain composure and not be sitting there smiling from ear to ear wanting to jump for joy.
His karma will ALL catch back up to him. Once I'm able to get MY computer set back up, thing settled, unpacked, etc I'm going to make copies of his original arrest report, since he's still trying to convince everyone that all he did was pee or masturbate (depends on the day) in a laundromat of an apartment complex and a little girl walked in on him so after MY grandmother paid for his lawyer he ended up with a plea bargain of reduced charges and sentence. ...I found out 6 months into the trial the real story, otherwise I NEVER would of asked for my grandmother to help pay for his lawyer... Where in actuality he'd seen a little girl, playing by herself in this complex, he was messed up on alcohol and meth, supposedly, he took the girl into the laundromat, closed the blinds, locked the door, and "stopped" himself before he did more than expose himself. Anyways, I am going to make copies of HIS typed and signed report of the whole incident and mail the copies to his mother, father, aunts, grandmother, etc. then hope that one or two of them actually have enough of a braincell in their heads to be able to read it and see what it says, not what he says he did, but actually what he did.
I've been fuming over this whole matter for way too long, I'm just ready to be able to be 150% DONE with his sorry ass.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
BUT
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
12:32 AM
Another Whine.
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
12:29 AM
I'm tired of packing, cleaning, planning, cramming, and waiting, ugh the WAITING. Surprisingly I'm also tired of whining about it.
This whole thing just seem to drag and drag and drag. I'm bored. I haven't had classes to teach in a while either, so no pressing reason to get out of the house. Brian's been home from work for weeks, after just being on vacation for a week or more a month before.
We've all been on and off sick. Ok, not all of us, mainly just Mikaila and I, but still!
My sad main entertainment has come from the fact Brian now has a laptop so we can harass each other on Facebook. While sitting within arm's reach of each other. Its almost back to like it was when we were first dating/living to each other...except back then I had my computer in the living room, he'd be in the bedroom, when we had two computers at the same time.
Yea, at this time I have a very exciting life. Just waiting on Tuesday to get here and be done with! Monday we load the moving truck!
This whole thing just seem to drag and drag and drag. I'm bored. I haven't had classes to teach in a while either, so no pressing reason to get out of the house. Brian's been home from work for weeks, after just being on vacation for a week or more a month before.
We've all been on and off sick. Ok, not all of us, mainly just Mikaila and I, but still!
My sad main entertainment has come from the fact Brian now has a laptop so we can harass each other on Facebook. While sitting within arm's reach of each other. Its almost back to like it was when we were first dating/living to each other...except back then I had my computer in the living room, he'd be in the bedroom, when we had two computers at the same time.
Yea, at this time I have a very exciting life. Just waiting on Tuesday to get here and be done with! Monday we load the moving truck!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Explaining it all...
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
2:08 PM
I know I've been vague in some of my posts recently. Just a lot has been going on and a lot of things were up in the air. I don't like to be an alarmist and try not to freak out or worry others before I have all the information, it's just not my style. I like to get all my information, all my facts, and have a better handle on things before I share with everyone. There are some people that know my play by play, but only because they're key elements in me being able to get to the other side to share with everyone.
Here I talked about Big Changes. Now that we're two week down the road and have everything rolling in that direction and getting ready to take off I'll share. We're moving to Tennessee. Brian is going to be transferring out there, so there is no issue on that front, he'll still have his years of tenure at his employer, still eligible for his benefits, raises, and promotions...there's just better opportunity for those raises and promotions to take place in an area where there has been steady and substantial growth in his field, as well as it's a much more populated area, all things that work in our favor...MUCH more so than being in this stagnant area that we've been in for the last few years. There's not going to be much growth here, period. This town and area is likely about as big as it's ever going to be - maybe 25,000 people for the whole county, with anything to do, jobs included being a minimum of a 30 minute drive, move of it being over a 2 hour drive, one way. We'll be living right outside of Nashville.
I'll also have the opportunity to put the kids into daycare, so that I can go to work, HUGE bonus there, not just because of the money I could bring in but also because I'll be able to get out and feel like I'm contributing to society. Nothing against stay-at-home-moms, but it's just not in my personality.
We're leaving out on Tuesday, after I'm done testifying against my ex-husband in court.
That moves me onto my next part of this...the court hearing.
My ex was released on a felony charge, with 4 years probation, back on the 23rd of December. Now I'd warned the judge that he wasn't going to follow through with paying it. After all this now makes the 3rd time she's released him in the last year...the last time he made a payment was on the 24th of February of 2009, almost a year ago. He's made almost THREE payments since the child support was first ordered in February of 2006. He's now trying to take me to court. Now mind you, he was released in December on probation, probation that states he's not allowed to miss a single payment for the next 4 years or he goes straight back to jail for the duration of that four years OR he pays the $10,000+ that he owes in back support, whichever comes first. It's nearing the end of February, still haven't received a payment...so he's taking me to court.
Why is he taking me to court?
I asked my caseworker about this...my ex is claiming that I haven't allowed him any visits with Mikeal. Unfortunately that just proves that my ex is incapable of reading what the divorce decree states.
The decree states:
The Petitioner is granted custody of the parties' minor child, Mikeal ****.
The Respondent's right to visitation is suspended due to his incarceration, and that upon the Respondent's release he shall be entitled to SUPERVISED visitation with the parties' minor child on the second Saturday of each month, beginning the month after his release, from 2:00pm until 4:00pm. The Respondent may not modify the custody or visitation provisions of this Decree until he has filed with the Court proof of his completion of the Helping Children Cope with Divorce, or similar program.
Added by the judge in writing: Both parties are required to complete Helping Children Cope with Divorce within 30 days of this order and much file a completion certificate before seeking relief from this decree.
The dumbass has yet to take the course, much less file with the courts a certificate of completion, so he can't change it, for one. SECONDLY...it states SUPERVISED visits on the 2nd Saturday of the month, from 2-4pm. Meaning he has to petition the court for a court approved supervisor to oversee the visitations, another thing that he has yet to do. This is all for my son's protection. My ex is a registered sex offender who, with the help of his mother, has kidnapped Mikeal and ran off with him for a few months, when he was just barely two years old.
I'm going to get the biggest kick out of seeing him actually show up for this hearing and try to convince the judge that because he's not made an attempt at either of these two conditions of visitation gives him the right to not have to pay child support...child support that he's currently on probation for not paying, and has not paid since being released on probation. The judge here she stops giving a person a chance after they've fucked up so many times, ESPECIALLY when she's been as gracious as she can be with such a loser. She's going to laugh at him, tell him tough titty, and have the bailiff escort him down to the county jail - which sits in the basement of the courthouse.
OK. Moving on.
Here I blogged about many things in our world coming crashing down. At that particular time we were given some fairly grim news about Brian's legs. He's had a bum knee for a while, sometime during Christmas he slipped and started wearing his fancy brace full time on that knee. Well, as a result of the combined slip and favoring that knee his shin on the other leg became QUITE inflamed. We tried to treat it for a month and it just wasn't getting better, instead seemed to be getting worse. So he went to be seen, after we had the money for the doctor's visit. They did x-rays, but because of all the swelling and inflammation they we're able to tell what all was going on, they were quite sure this his tendons had ruptured, meaning surgery. And because they were going to be doing surgery on the one they might as well as do the surgery on his bad knee at the same time to cut down on the chance of re-injury by favoring the bad one, visa versa. He does definitely need surgery on the one knee, eventually. So here I was sitting on thinking my husband is going to be out of work for a while for double leg surgery, I have a 2 year old that I haven't been able to find childcare for, in an area where finding a job is like finding a needle in a haystack - DIFFICULT - all that to be known in less than a week's time, on whether he'd need the surgery or not.
He rested up best he could, called in from work one day, had the next two days off, went back to the doctor who'd splinted it up pretty good and had asked he come back in a week to see if the swelling and inflammation had come down. THANKFULLY the swelling went down and the doc was better able to see what was going on with him; turned out to just be shin splints. Told Brian to go on light duty for a month, check back in, and it should be healed enough for him to go back to work as normal. His employer stated they weren't able to accommodate him with light duty, so gave him the month off under FMLA. NO big deal, seeing as we'd just gotten our income tax refund so had a bit of a cushion from that to pay up and ahead on all of our bills for a few months.
That brings us back to why we're moving. That morning BEFORE we knew what was going on with Brian having to have surgery or not our landlord's husband - who REFUSES to even take the rent payment if his wife isn't home - comes POUNDING on our door at 6am, before we're even out of bed, to chew us out over we better not be trying to screw over his wife, because Brian missed ONE day of work in over TWO years of even being at this job, AND to add insult to that rent wasn't even DUE for another 48 hours, wasn't even late for another 7 days, we've NEVER missed a payment NOR have we even been late in almost 2 years of living here. - THAT was the catalyst to us deciding to move and make such an extreme move. Later that day, after the doctor's appointment and Brian talking to his boss about the restrictions, it was confirmed that this was the best timing for us to move. Brian being off from work for a month, a house being open and in our price range, that we can move into by the end of the month, then a week later the job transfer was confirmed. Of course we were detained here by my having to show for court next week, so that sucked.
Another thing that came crashing down at the VERY same time that Brian first went to the doctor was Mikeal started having some VERY noticeable health issues. Passing out being the BIG thing. I talked to my mom about it at that point, eventually, and I found out that according to her that was how my dad's heart issues started presenting themselves, so I panicked a bit. This is my baby. My daddy died at age 44 from a heart attack, his heart issue wasn't diagnosed until he was in his early 30s, but the clues of it had been there all his life. So I got Mikeal into the doctor, insisted that the doc not take me lightly, and to my surprise he didn't argue with me, he knew I wasn't messing around with this. Blood work was done there and an appointment was set for March to follow up with a pediatric cardiologist...I'll have to transfer that to his new doc in the Nashville area, but that's not a big deal. From the blood work we found out that Mikeal has a thyroid issue, blogged about here.
Lengthy, I know. But I had to wait until we got closer to this point. Nearly everything is packed up. Monday we get the rental truck and load it. Tuesday I go to court at 10am. Directly after being done there we're headed down the road. We should be in our destination city by roughly 10pm.
Have a good day. I'll post more details of our move and our new house once we get settled in and everything turned on. :D
Here I talked about Big Changes. Now that we're two week down the road and have everything rolling in that direction and getting ready to take off I'll share. We're moving to Tennessee. Brian is going to be transferring out there, so there is no issue on that front, he'll still have his years of tenure at his employer, still eligible for his benefits, raises, and promotions...there's just better opportunity for those raises and promotions to take place in an area where there has been steady and substantial growth in his field, as well as it's a much more populated area, all things that work in our favor...MUCH more so than being in this stagnant area that we've been in for the last few years. There's not going to be much growth here, period. This town and area is likely about as big as it's ever going to be - maybe 25,000 people for the whole county, with anything to do, jobs included being a minimum of a 30 minute drive, move of it being over a 2 hour drive, one way. We'll be living right outside of Nashville.
I'll also have the opportunity to put the kids into daycare, so that I can go to work, HUGE bonus there, not just because of the money I could bring in but also because I'll be able to get out and feel like I'm contributing to society. Nothing against stay-at-home-moms, but it's just not in my personality.
We're leaving out on Tuesday, after I'm done testifying against my ex-husband in court.
That moves me onto my next part of this...the court hearing.
My ex was released on a felony charge, with 4 years probation, back on the 23rd of December. Now I'd warned the judge that he wasn't going to follow through with paying it. After all this now makes the 3rd time she's released him in the last year...the last time he made a payment was on the 24th of February of 2009, almost a year ago. He's made almost THREE payments since the child support was first ordered in February of 2006. He's now trying to take me to court. Now mind you, he was released in December on probation, probation that states he's not allowed to miss a single payment for the next 4 years or he goes straight back to jail for the duration of that four years OR he pays the $10,000+ that he owes in back support, whichever comes first. It's nearing the end of February, still haven't received a payment...so he's taking me to court.
Why is he taking me to court?
I asked my caseworker about this...my ex is claiming that I haven't allowed him any visits with Mikeal. Unfortunately that just proves that my ex is incapable of reading what the divorce decree states.
The decree states:
The Petitioner is granted custody of the parties' minor child, Mikeal ****.
The Respondent's right to visitation is suspended due to his incarceration, and that upon the Respondent's release he shall be entitled to SUPERVISED visitation with the parties' minor child on the second Saturday of each month, beginning the month after his release, from 2:00pm until 4:00pm. The Respondent may not modify the custody or visitation provisions of this Decree until he has filed with the Court proof of his completion of the Helping Children Cope with Divorce, or similar program.
Added by the judge in writing: Both parties are required to complete Helping Children Cope with Divorce within 30 days of this order and much file a completion certificate before seeking relief from this decree.
The dumbass has yet to take the course, much less file with the courts a certificate of completion, so he can't change it, for one. SECONDLY...it states SUPERVISED visits on the 2nd Saturday of the month, from 2-4pm. Meaning he has to petition the court for a court approved supervisor to oversee the visitations, another thing that he has yet to do. This is all for my son's protection. My ex is a registered sex offender who, with the help of his mother, has kidnapped Mikeal and ran off with him for a few months, when he was just barely two years old.
I'm going to get the biggest kick out of seeing him actually show up for this hearing and try to convince the judge that because he's not made an attempt at either of these two conditions of visitation gives him the right to not have to pay child support...child support that he's currently on probation for not paying, and has not paid since being released on probation. The judge here she stops giving a person a chance after they've fucked up so many times, ESPECIALLY when she's been as gracious as she can be with such a loser. She's going to laugh at him, tell him tough titty, and have the bailiff escort him down to the county jail - which sits in the basement of the courthouse.
OK. Moving on.
Here I blogged about many things in our world coming crashing down. At that particular time we were given some fairly grim news about Brian's legs. He's had a bum knee for a while, sometime during Christmas he slipped and started wearing his fancy brace full time on that knee. Well, as a result of the combined slip and favoring that knee his shin on the other leg became QUITE inflamed. We tried to treat it for a month and it just wasn't getting better, instead seemed to be getting worse. So he went to be seen, after we had the money for the doctor's visit. They did x-rays, but because of all the swelling and inflammation they we're able to tell what all was going on, they were quite sure this his tendons had ruptured, meaning surgery. And because they were going to be doing surgery on the one they might as well as do the surgery on his bad knee at the same time to cut down on the chance of re-injury by favoring the bad one, visa versa. He does definitely need surgery on the one knee, eventually. So here I was sitting on thinking my husband is going to be out of work for a while for double leg surgery, I have a 2 year old that I haven't been able to find childcare for, in an area where finding a job is like finding a needle in a haystack - DIFFICULT - all that to be known in less than a week's time, on whether he'd need the surgery or not.
He rested up best he could, called in from work one day, had the next two days off, went back to the doctor who'd splinted it up pretty good and had asked he come back in a week to see if the swelling and inflammation had come down. THANKFULLY the swelling went down and the doc was better able to see what was going on with him; turned out to just be shin splints. Told Brian to go on light duty for a month, check back in, and it should be healed enough for him to go back to work as normal. His employer stated they weren't able to accommodate him with light duty, so gave him the month off under FMLA. NO big deal, seeing as we'd just gotten our income tax refund so had a bit of a cushion from that to pay up and ahead on all of our bills for a few months.
That brings us back to why we're moving. That morning BEFORE we knew what was going on with Brian having to have surgery or not our landlord's husband - who REFUSES to even take the rent payment if his wife isn't home - comes POUNDING on our door at 6am, before we're even out of bed, to chew us out over we better not be trying to screw over his wife, because Brian missed ONE day of work in over TWO years of even being at this job, AND to add insult to that rent wasn't even DUE for another 48 hours, wasn't even late for another 7 days, we've NEVER missed a payment NOR have we even been late in almost 2 years of living here. - THAT was the catalyst to us deciding to move and make such an extreme move. Later that day, after the doctor's appointment and Brian talking to his boss about the restrictions, it was confirmed that this was the best timing for us to move. Brian being off from work for a month, a house being open and in our price range, that we can move into by the end of the month, then a week later the job transfer was confirmed. Of course we were detained here by my having to show for court next week, so that sucked.
Another thing that came crashing down at the VERY same time that Brian first went to the doctor was Mikeal started having some VERY noticeable health issues. Passing out being the BIG thing. I talked to my mom about it at that point, eventually, and I found out that according to her that was how my dad's heart issues started presenting themselves, so I panicked a bit. This is my baby. My daddy died at age 44 from a heart attack, his heart issue wasn't diagnosed until he was in his early 30s, but the clues of it had been there all his life. So I got Mikeal into the doctor, insisted that the doc not take me lightly, and to my surprise he didn't argue with me, he knew I wasn't messing around with this. Blood work was done there and an appointment was set for March to follow up with a pediatric cardiologist...I'll have to transfer that to his new doc in the Nashville area, but that's not a big deal. From the blood work we found out that Mikeal has a thyroid issue, blogged about here.
Lengthy, I know. But I had to wait until we got closer to this point. Nearly everything is packed up. Monday we get the rental truck and load it. Tuesday I go to court at 10am. Directly after being done there we're headed down the road. We should be in our destination city by roughly 10pm.
Have a good day. I'll post more details of our move and our new house once we get settled in and everything turned on. :D
Saturday, February 13, 2010
My Baby Brother, the U.S. Marine
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
11:22 PM
I just recently found out that my baby brother is now currently in Afghanistan. I'm a bit irritated over him about it because I'd just talked to him on Facebook not too terribly long ago, and apparently he was already over there when we talked. We talked about his child that is due on his birthday, July 30th, he told me he'd broke his leg, while running...he did not mention that he'd broke it while securing a humvee in Afghanistan. I haven't gotten to see him since November 20, 2008. I miss him terribly and I'm worried about him.
If you can say a prayer for his safe return I'd greatly appreciate it...I'm sure his fianceé would as well. She's also in the Marines, but because of her pregnancy is not able to deploy...but I'm still worried about all three of them, Duke, his fianceé Amanda, and their baby.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Mikeal has Hypothyroidism
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
4:53 PM
Google is my worst enemy today...
A few weeks ago Mikeal told me that he was having passing out spells, three total that we're aware of to be exact, since around Christmas. Because of him starting wrestling around the same time that these things were going on I at first chalked it up to dehydration. We hydrated him, things seemed to be "fine", but then again there was no specific rhyme or reason to the black out spells, so didn't know what to think of it. Earlier this month my mom had a package for me on my child support stuff, so I had to go over there and get it....now my mom and I haven't talked AT ALL since Thanksgiving, so she didn't know of any of this stuff, etc. While I was there to get my mail from her we talked for a bit, it was actually a pleasant time, so I told her about all that was going on with the kids, what was going on with Mikaila starting therapy, my health issues and how they were resolved, and indulged her in some of the points of Mikeal's new issues. I left her place scared out of my gourd because she was able to tell me that a lot of what I had described about Mikeal was quite similar to my dad's starting issues. In case it's not known my dad had a heart condition that he had all of his life, but it was never detected until he'd undergone some serious tests, at age 32 when he had his first major heart attack. He died at age 44 from heart related issues and cancer.
Today I was called about the results of his blood work. The nurse said that Mikeal's blood levels and thyroid levels were low, so want to start him on a thyroid medication and to check back in 6 weeks for more blood work. Of course we're going to be moving during this time so I'll have to reschedule with a cardiologist in our new area and a doctor there for the follow-ups...
I went ahead and googled a bit to get more information...
BUT the information I got doesn't seem to really "fit" Mikeal...the information mentions things like stunted growth - he's in the 95% for both height and weight - and learning problems - he's in 2nd grade, top of his class, doing most things at a 4th-6th grade level - being the two big "clues" that there may be something going on. Other things mentioned were an increased sensitivity to cold...I have to FIGHT with him to put a coat on, and it's a battle to get him to wear gloves and a hat, even when it's only in the single digits outside and he'd play outside all day in such temps if I let him. It did mention fatigue, but he sleeps from about 8pm until 6-8am (depending on if he's trying to get out of riding the bus to school). Other things that were mentioned were autoimmune disorders such as Graves disease and Hashimoto thyroiditis or associated with diabetes and celiac disease.
I just feel a bit overwhelmed with it all. Supposedly the nurse is going to give me a call back later, after she's done seeing patients, to answer my questions (I hope) but I don't feel really all that "great" about getting to the probable cause of Mikeal's recent black out spells... that or maybe I'm just a bit disappointed that it came back with something I wasn't expecting, instead of what I was preparing myself to hear.
And now I'm full of every sort of question about this, follow-ups, ways to check for maybe one of the other things as being the cause, etc...and feel like I'm going to be brushed off...I'm not fond of the nurse because at Mikeal's last well check-up I had mentioned some things that seemed a bit "off" about Mikeal and she blew it off as just "normal" 7 year old boy stuff. I feel awful now for just rolling with it because Mikeal has never been able to be classified as "normal" ...I really thought that people were exaggerating "terrible twos" because Mikeal was a blessing, and his 3 year old year was only really terrible for about a month...Mikaila has given me a whole new take on "normal"...but Mikeal, no.
And now having googled, and thinking more about it, the concerns I'd brought up with her, back in August, actually match more with the information I've ran across with my google searches. But because she said these were normal things I let it go and didn't pay attention to it anymore as a concern.
Ugh.
****
So since starting to make that portion of the post I have talked to a nurse at his doctor's office.
I asked her about the possible cause, specifically the auto immune disease possibilities & diabetes, she reassured me the the only "not good" or concerning parts of the blood tests were his low red blood count (RBC) & low thyroid levels, so he JUST has thyroid problems, RBC should go back up when his thyroid levels go up on the meds. He has to take the med daily then retest in 6-8 weeks to make sure the meds are a high enough dose, etc. She said it is most likely hereditary as his bio father's side has thyroid issues everywhere. Also because it was caught in "later" childhood and caught in its early warning stage phase he should not have any permanent damage...such as newborns can have thyroid issues and if untreated or caught later could cause permanent brain damage. If his issues were to go undetected and untreated into adulthood it could cause a lot of issues as well, such as heart problems, weight issues, behavioral issues, and academic problems..where he's excelling now he could be way behind in a few years.
Treatment is just a pill a day and regular blood work, most likely for the rest of his life.
For more information on Hypothyroidism in children I found this website to be quite informational.
A few weeks ago Mikeal told me that he was having passing out spells, three total that we're aware of to be exact, since around Christmas. Because of him starting wrestling around the same time that these things were going on I at first chalked it up to dehydration. We hydrated him, things seemed to be "fine", but then again there was no specific rhyme or reason to the black out spells, so didn't know what to think of it. Earlier this month my mom had a package for me on my child support stuff, so I had to go over there and get it....now my mom and I haven't talked AT ALL since Thanksgiving, so she didn't know of any of this stuff, etc. While I was there to get my mail from her we talked for a bit, it was actually a pleasant time, so I told her about all that was going on with the kids, what was going on with Mikaila starting therapy, my health issues and how they were resolved, and indulged her in some of the points of Mikeal's new issues. I left her place scared out of my gourd because she was able to tell me that a lot of what I had described about Mikeal was quite similar to my dad's starting issues. In case it's not known my dad had a heart condition that he had all of his life, but it was never detected until he'd undergone some serious tests, at age 32 when he had his first major heart attack. He died at age 44 from heart related issues and cancer.
Today I was called about the results of his blood work. The nurse said that Mikeal's blood levels and thyroid levels were low, so want to start him on a thyroid medication and to check back in 6 weeks for more blood work. Of course we're going to be moving during this time so I'll have to reschedule with a cardiologist in our new area and a doctor there for the follow-ups...
I went ahead and googled a bit to get more information...
BUT the information I got doesn't seem to really "fit" Mikeal...the information mentions things like stunted growth - he's in the 95% for both height and weight - and learning problems - he's in 2nd grade, top of his class, doing most things at a 4th-6th grade level - being the two big "clues" that there may be something going on. Other things mentioned were an increased sensitivity to cold...I have to FIGHT with him to put a coat on, and it's a battle to get him to wear gloves and a hat, even when it's only in the single digits outside and he'd play outside all day in such temps if I let him. It did mention fatigue, but he sleeps from about 8pm until 6-8am (depending on if he's trying to get out of riding the bus to school). Other things that were mentioned were autoimmune disorders such as Graves disease and Hashimoto thyroiditis or associated with diabetes and celiac disease.
I just feel a bit overwhelmed with it all. Supposedly the nurse is going to give me a call back later, after she's done seeing patients, to answer my questions (I hope) but I don't feel really all that "great" about getting to the probable cause of Mikeal's recent black out spells... that or maybe I'm just a bit disappointed that it came back with something I wasn't expecting, instead of what I was preparing myself to hear.
And now I'm full of every sort of question about this, follow-ups, ways to check for maybe one of the other things as being the cause, etc...and feel like I'm going to be brushed off...I'm not fond of the nurse because at Mikeal's last well check-up I had mentioned some things that seemed a bit "off" about Mikeal and she blew it off as just "normal" 7 year old boy stuff. I feel awful now for just rolling with it because Mikeal has never been able to be classified as "normal" ...I really thought that people were exaggerating "terrible twos" because Mikeal was a blessing, and his 3 year old year was only really terrible for about a month...Mikaila has given me a whole new take on "normal"...but Mikeal, no.
And now having googled, and thinking more about it, the concerns I'd brought up with her, back in August, actually match more with the information I've ran across with my google searches. But because she said these were normal things I let it go and didn't pay attention to it anymore as a concern.
Ugh.
****
So since starting to make that portion of the post I have talked to a nurse at his doctor's office.
I asked her about the possible cause, specifically the auto immune disease possibilities & diabetes, she reassured me the the only "not good" or concerning parts of the blood tests were his low red blood count (RBC) & low thyroid levels, so he JUST has thyroid problems, RBC should go back up when his thyroid levels go up on the meds. He has to take the med daily then retest in 6-8 weeks to make sure the meds are a high enough dose, etc. She said it is most likely hereditary as his bio father's side has thyroid issues everywhere. Also because it was caught in "later" childhood and caught in its early warning stage phase he should not have any permanent damage...such as newborns can have thyroid issues and if untreated or caught later could cause permanent brain damage. If his issues were to go undetected and untreated into adulthood it could cause a lot of issues as well, such as heart problems, weight issues, behavioral issues, and academic problems..where he's excelling now he could be way behind in a few years.
Treatment is just a pill a day and regular blood work, most likely for the rest of his life.
For more information on Hypothyroidism in children I found this website to be quite informational.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"On the House"
Posted by
AlaphGypsy
at
9:34 PM
Yea...that would likely mean a bit more to me if it wasn't for the fact the reason was because our waitress was completely stoned and the kitchen hadn't "lost" our order....I'm going to say it's because the waitress was completely stoned is the reason the kitchen lost our order that was brought out to us QUITE cold - only warm from the heat lamps - and my salad had to be completely redone because it'd sat under the heat lamps so long it'd wilted, but I digress....
We've been wanting to go to Rib Crib for a few days, we tried on Friday, with some friends, but there was an "at least" 40 minute wait, and when you have a hungry 2 & 7 year old with you, and it's already well past dinner time, 40 minutes is a NIGHTMARE...so we went to the Chinese Buffet place instead. So we decided to go tonight, after all in my sickly phase I didn't remember to set anything out for dinner and didn't really feel up to cooking something anyways and we REALLY wanted some Honey BBQ wings.
We walk in the door, it's decently busy, but there were a few open tables. We were in line behind a guy that was there by himself...had obviously been standing there for a while. A waiter walked by, said someone would be right with us...okay. He makes a few trips back and forth, as well as does the gal that ended up being our waitress, before this fairly pregnant gal notices us standing there, she delivers the drinks that were in her hand, grabbed some menus, apologizes for our wait, gets onto the other two servers that had walked by us...by now another 10 people had walked in the doors...and goes to seat us, I inform her that the other gentleman had been there before us, she seats us, stoner boy seats the single guy, the others are seated.
Our stoner chick waitress comes, takes our drink order, we already know what we want to eat and what appetizer we want, but she doesn't wait for us to let her know...she brings the drinks, the kids in cups with lids...and one straw. Two cups needed straws, I prefer a straw...she said she'd be right back with a straw. Takes our order...I grab pregnant waitress a little bit later, as she's waiting on the table next to us, and get a few more straws from her.
We wait, and wait. Table next to us leaves. Single guy that was at the table behind us gets his food. We wait. We wait some more. FINALLY our wings are brought out. It was so cute though since this was the FIRST time I've ever given Mikaila a chicken wing, whole...usually I spend half the time pulling the meat off the bone. She wiped those bones CLEAN of the chicken meat...and uses the empty bones to eat the ranch dressing. LOL
We finally convince her that they're all gone. And wait. We wait. Table next to us is reseated, single guy behind us is gone, meal ate, he even had some other folks come in and chat with him for a few. Regardless, he's ate, paid, left, his table is clean. We wait. Table next to us gets their appetizer. We wait.
I flag down a waiter from over the top of the booth, ask him if there might be a person of management on duty this evening. He tells me that he's busy in the kitchen, asked me if I was sure I wanted to talk to him. By this time I'm rather irritated. Table next to us is almost done with their appetizer...and they're just a young couple. I tell him that YES I am sure I would like to speak to him.
A few more minutes go by, table next to us is done with their appetizer, then our waitress shows up, asks us about drink refills, Brian was sucking on the ice by this point, and states that the kitchen somehow "lost" our ticket, but she'd have our food right out. She comes back a few seconds later with most of our food. Mikaila's cold and getting crusty macaroni and cheese, Mikeal's cold cheeseburger and fries, Brian's lukewarm 3 meat plate...my salad and the extra order of fries are no where to be seen.
She said they'd be right out.
Manager shows up. Tell us he'll comp our whole meal. Great, lovely, I didn't come to get a free meal, I came to eat the salad I ordered. I ask him about the progress of my salad and the fries, he states they'll be right out.
Pregnant waitress asks what drinks we had and actually brings us a refill for our Cokes.
Stoner waitress then returns, finally, with my salad and an order of fries, both obviously freshly made.
We eat the food. Pregnant waitress brings us some extra napkins, as again our waitress is no where to be found. Table next to us pay and leave.
We eat. Pregnant waitress again refill's Brian's glass.
We would of left had it not been for the fact that the kids were expecting a hot fudge sundae after they were done, it did come with their meal, after all, and Mikeal did eat all of his dinner with full expectations that he'd be getting ice cream for doing so (we've had an issue with him lately not doing more than just picking at his food)....
So we wait. Piles of dirty dishes on our table...and wait.
Stoner waitress can be seen chatting it up on the other side of the partition...try to flag her down a few times, and I'm not quite shy about flagging down a waitress in these types of circumstances. I've been a waitress...in fact the hours I've been employed as a waitress competes with the amount of time I've had children...I've trained waitresses, I've been in management, I know things get hectic, I know things happen, and I'm QUITE tolerant in regards to things not really being of the fault of the waitress...This was not the case.
Pregnant waitress returned to clean the table next to us, I asked her about the sundaes for the kids, she promptly offered to bring them herself. Sure enough within about 2 minutes I see her returning with them, she stopped by to deliver a drink to one of her own tables, while holding the kids' sundaes, and bring us the sundaes. Perfect.
The kids were nearly done eating their sundaes when stoner waitress stops by the table, makes a short quip about asking us if everything was alright, and states that our meal was comped, so we were free to leave when ever we were ready....she tried to play nice to me, but I acted absorbed in helping Mikaila with her sundae, so she turned her attention to Brian. LOL
We waited for a few, Mikeal finished his sundae, Mikaila mostly finished hers, pregnant waitress finally had a chance to come finish cleaning off the table that was next to us, I slipped her a $5 tip, she tried to decline, but I wouldn't have it..I would of given her a bigger one but the only other bill I had was a $20 that I need to use later this week for something else. We didn't leave anything for stoner chick.
We arrived at about 6pm, actually a few minutes before, according to the clock in the van. We were back in the van at 7:45. UGH!
So yea, our $60 meal was "on the house" but it doesn't really mean much when the quality was below sub-par.
We've been wanting to go to Rib Crib for a few days, we tried on Friday, with some friends, but there was an "at least" 40 minute wait, and when you have a hungry 2 & 7 year old with you, and it's already well past dinner time, 40 minutes is a NIGHTMARE...so we went to the Chinese Buffet place instead. So we decided to go tonight, after all in my sickly phase I didn't remember to set anything out for dinner and didn't really feel up to cooking something anyways and we REALLY wanted some Honey BBQ wings.
We walk in the door, it's decently busy, but there were a few open tables. We were in line behind a guy that was there by himself...had obviously been standing there for a while. A waiter walked by, said someone would be right with us...okay. He makes a few trips back and forth, as well as does the gal that ended up being our waitress, before this fairly pregnant gal notices us standing there, she delivers the drinks that were in her hand, grabbed some menus, apologizes for our wait, gets onto the other two servers that had walked by us...by now another 10 people had walked in the doors...and goes to seat us, I inform her that the other gentleman had been there before us, she seats us, stoner boy seats the single guy, the others are seated.
Our stoner chick waitress comes, takes our drink order, we already know what we want to eat and what appetizer we want, but she doesn't wait for us to let her know...she brings the drinks, the kids in cups with lids...and one straw. Two cups needed straws, I prefer a straw...she said she'd be right back with a straw. Takes our order...I grab pregnant waitress a little bit later, as she's waiting on the table next to us, and get a few more straws from her.
We wait, and wait. Table next to us leaves. Single guy that was at the table behind us gets his food. We wait. We wait some more. FINALLY our wings are brought out. It was so cute though since this was the FIRST time I've ever given Mikaila a chicken wing, whole...usually I spend half the time pulling the meat off the bone. She wiped those bones CLEAN of the chicken meat...and uses the empty bones to eat the ranch dressing. LOL
We finally convince her that they're all gone. And wait. We wait. Table next to us is reseated, single guy behind us is gone, meal ate, he even had some other folks come in and chat with him for a few. Regardless, he's ate, paid, left, his table is clean. We wait. Table next to us gets their appetizer. We wait.
I flag down a waiter from over the top of the booth, ask him if there might be a person of management on duty this evening. He tells me that he's busy in the kitchen, asked me if I was sure I wanted to talk to him. By this time I'm rather irritated. Table next to us is almost done with their appetizer...and they're just a young couple. I tell him that YES I am sure I would like to speak to him.
A few more minutes go by, table next to us is done with their appetizer, then our waitress shows up, asks us about drink refills, Brian was sucking on the ice by this point, and states that the kitchen somehow "lost" our ticket, but she'd have our food right out. She comes back a few seconds later with most of our food. Mikaila's cold and getting crusty macaroni and cheese, Mikeal's cold cheeseburger and fries, Brian's lukewarm 3 meat plate...my salad and the extra order of fries are no where to be seen.
She said they'd be right out.
Manager shows up. Tell us he'll comp our whole meal. Great, lovely, I didn't come to get a free meal, I came to eat the salad I ordered. I ask him about the progress of my salad and the fries, he states they'll be right out.
Pregnant waitress asks what drinks we had and actually brings us a refill for our Cokes.
Stoner waitress then returns, finally, with my salad and an order of fries, both obviously freshly made.
We eat the food. Pregnant waitress brings us some extra napkins, as again our waitress is no where to be found. Table next to us pay and leave.
We eat. Pregnant waitress again refill's Brian's glass.
We would of left had it not been for the fact that the kids were expecting a hot fudge sundae after they were done, it did come with their meal, after all, and Mikeal did eat all of his dinner with full expectations that he'd be getting ice cream for doing so (we've had an issue with him lately not doing more than just picking at his food)....
So we wait. Piles of dirty dishes on our table...and wait.
Stoner waitress can be seen chatting it up on the other side of the partition...try to flag her down a few times, and I'm not quite shy about flagging down a waitress in these types of circumstances. I've been a waitress...in fact the hours I've been employed as a waitress competes with the amount of time I've had children...I've trained waitresses, I've been in management, I know things get hectic, I know things happen, and I'm QUITE tolerant in regards to things not really being of the fault of the waitress...This was not the case.
Pregnant waitress returned to clean the table next to us, I asked her about the sundaes for the kids, she promptly offered to bring them herself. Sure enough within about 2 minutes I see her returning with them, she stopped by to deliver a drink to one of her own tables, while holding the kids' sundaes, and bring us the sundaes. Perfect.
The kids were nearly done eating their sundaes when stoner waitress stops by the table, makes a short quip about asking us if everything was alright, and states that our meal was comped, so we were free to leave when ever we were ready....she tried to play nice to me, but I acted absorbed in helping Mikaila with her sundae, so she turned her attention to Brian. LOL
We waited for a few, Mikeal finished his sundae, Mikaila mostly finished hers, pregnant waitress finally had a chance to come finish cleaning off the table that was next to us, I slipped her a $5 tip, she tried to decline, but I wouldn't have it..I would of given her a bigger one but the only other bill I had was a $20 that I need to use later this week for something else. We didn't leave anything for stoner chick.
We arrived at about 6pm, actually a few minutes before, according to the clock in the van. We were back in the van at 7:45. UGH!
So yea, our $60 meal was "on the house" but it doesn't really mean much when the quality was below sub-par.
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