Saturday, February 20, 2010

Explaining it all...

I know I've been vague in some of my posts recently. Just a lot has been going on and a lot of things were up in the air. I don't like to be an alarmist and try not to freak out or worry others before I have all the information, it's just not my style. I like to get all my information, all my facts, and have a better handle on things before I share with everyone. There are some people that know my play by play, but only because they're key elements in me being able to get to the other side to share with everyone.

Here I talked about Big Changes. Now that we're two week down the road and have everything rolling in that direction and getting ready to take off I'll share. We're moving to Tennessee. Brian is going to be transferring out there, so there is no issue on that front, he'll still have his years of tenure at his employer, still eligible for his benefits, raises, and promotions...there's just better opportunity for those raises and promotions to take place in an area where there has been steady and substantial growth in his field, as well as it's a much more populated area, all things that work in our favor...MUCH more so than being in this stagnant area that we've been in for the last few years. There's not going to be much growth here, period. This town and area is likely about as big as it's ever going to be - maybe 25,000 people for the whole county, with anything to do, jobs included being a minimum of a 30 minute drive, move of it being over a 2 hour drive, one way. We'll be living right outside of Nashville.

I'll also have the opportunity to put the kids into daycare, so that I can go to work, HUGE bonus there, not just because of the money I could bring in but also because I'll be able to get out and feel like I'm contributing to society. Nothing against stay-at-home-moms, but it's just not in my personality.

We're leaving out on Tuesday, after I'm done testifying against my ex-husband in court.

That moves me onto my next part of this...the court hearing.

My ex was released on a felony charge, with 4 years probation, back on the 23rd of December. Now I'd warned the judge that he wasn't going to follow through with paying it. After all this now makes the 3rd time she's released him in the last year...the last time he made a payment was on the 24th of February of 2009, almost a year ago. He's made almost THREE payments since the child support was first ordered in February of 2006. He's now trying to take me to court. Now mind you, he was released in December on probation, probation that states he's not allowed to miss a single payment for the next 4 years or he goes straight back to jail for the duration of that four years OR he pays the $10,000+ that he owes in back support, whichever comes first. It's nearing the end of February, still haven't received a he's taking me to court.

Why is he taking me to court?

I asked my caseworker about ex is claiming that I haven't allowed him any visits with Mikeal. Unfortunately that just proves that my ex is incapable of reading what the divorce decree states.

The decree states:
The Petitioner is granted custody of the parties' minor child, Mikeal ****.

The Respondent's right to visitation is suspended due to his incarceration, and that upon the Respondent's release he shall be entitled to SUPERVISED visitation with the parties' minor child on the second Saturday of each month, beginning the month after his release, from 2:00pm until 4:00pm. The Respondent may not modify the custody or visitation provisions of this Decree until he has filed with the Court proof of his completion of the Helping Children Cope with Divorce, or similar program.

Added by the judge in writing: Both parties are required to complete Helping Children Cope with Divorce within 30 days of this order and much file a completion certificate before seeking relief from this decree.

The dumbass has yet to take the course, much less file with the courts a certificate of completion, so he can't change it, for one. states SUPERVISED visits on the 2nd Saturday of the month, from 2-4pm. Meaning he has to petition the court for a court approved supervisor to oversee the visitations, another thing that he has yet to do. This is all for my son's protection. My ex is a registered sex offender who, with the help of his mother, has kidnapped Mikeal and ran off with him for a few months, when he was just barely two years old.

I'm going to get the biggest kick out of seeing him actually show up for this hearing and try to convince the judge that because he's not made an attempt at either of these two conditions of visitation gives him the right to not have to pay child support...child support that he's currently on probation for not paying, and has not paid since being released on probation. The judge here she stops giving a person a chance after they've fucked up so many times, ESPECIALLY when she's been as gracious as she can be with such a loser. She's going to laugh at him, tell him tough titty, and have the bailiff escort him down to the county jail - which sits in the basement of the courthouse.

OK. Moving on.

Here I blogged about many things in our world coming crashing down. At that particular time we were given some fairly grim news about Brian's legs. He's had a bum knee for a while, sometime during Christmas he slipped and started wearing his fancy brace full time on that knee. Well, as a result of the combined slip and favoring that knee his shin on the other leg became QUITE inflamed. We tried to treat it for a month and it just wasn't getting better, instead seemed to be getting worse. So he went to be seen, after we had the money for the doctor's visit. They did x-rays, but because of all the swelling and inflammation they we're able to tell what all was going on, they were quite sure this his tendons had ruptured, meaning surgery. And because they were going to be doing surgery on the one they might as well as do the surgery on his bad knee at the same time to cut down on the chance of re-injury by favoring the bad one, visa versa. He does definitely need surgery on the one knee, eventually. So here I was sitting on thinking my husband is going to be out of work for a while for double leg surgery, I have a 2 year old that I haven't been able to find childcare for, in an area where finding a job is like finding a needle in a haystack - DIFFICULT - all that to be known in less than a week's time, on whether he'd need the surgery or not.

He rested up best he could, called in from work one day, had the next two days off, went back to the doctor who'd splinted it up pretty good and had asked he come back in a week to see if the swelling and inflammation had come down. THANKFULLY the swelling went down and the doc was better able to see what was going on with him; turned out to just be shin splints. Told Brian to go on light duty for a month, check back in, and it should be healed enough for him to go back to work as normal. His employer stated they weren't able to accommodate him with light duty, so gave him the month off under FMLA. NO big deal, seeing as we'd just gotten our income tax refund so had a bit of a cushion from that to pay up and ahead on all of our bills for a few months.

That brings us back to why we're moving. That morning BEFORE we knew what was going on with Brian having to have surgery or not our landlord's husband - who REFUSES to even take the rent payment if his wife isn't home - comes POUNDING on our door at 6am, before we're even out of bed, to chew us out over we better not be trying to screw over his wife, because Brian missed ONE day of work in over TWO years of even being at this job, AND to add insult to that rent wasn't even DUE for another 48 hours, wasn't even late for another 7 days, we've NEVER missed a payment NOR have we even been late in almost 2 years of living here. - THAT was the catalyst to us deciding to move and make such an extreme move. Later that day, after the doctor's appointment and Brian talking to his boss about the restrictions, it was confirmed that this was the best timing for us to move. Brian being off from work for a month, a house being open and in our price range, that we can move into by the end of the month, then a week later the job transfer was confirmed. Of course we were detained here by my having to show for court next week, so that sucked.

Another thing that came crashing down at the VERY same time that Brian first went to the doctor was Mikeal started having some VERY noticeable health issues. Passing out being the BIG thing. I talked to my mom about it at that point, eventually, and I found out that according to her that was how my dad's heart issues started presenting themselves, so I panicked a bit. This is my baby. My daddy died at age 44 from a heart attack, his heart issue wasn't diagnosed until he was in his early 30s, but the clues of it had been there all his life. So I got Mikeal into the doctor, insisted that the doc not take me lightly, and to my surprise he didn't argue with me, he knew I wasn't messing around with this. Blood work was done there and an appointment was set for March to follow up with a pediatric cardiologist...I'll have to transfer that to his new doc in the Nashville area, but that's not a big deal. From the blood work we found out that Mikeal has a thyroid issue, blogged about here.

Lengthy, I know. But I had to wait until we got closer to this point. Nearly everything is packed up. Monday we get the rental truck and load it. Tuesday I go to court at 10am. Directly after being done there we're headed down the road. We should be in our destination city by roughly 10pm.

Have a good day. I'll post more details of our move and our new house once we get settled in and everything turned on. :D

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