Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Briefly...

Long story short... (part of the reason it seems rushed, etc...trying to keep it "short") LOL

I was born the eldest daughter of Donald Linn Pierson & Shelia Frances Elder. Conceived after the closing of the last party of the summer before my mother started her senior year of high school, months before my dad officially entered into the Navy. I was born days before my mother's high school graduation, in what used to be a fairly small town, now known as the Wal-Mart capital of the world, Bentonville, Arkansas. I'm very proud of my mother for sticking through her senior year to graduate with her class.

I have three younger siblings-Daniel, Samantha, & Duke- whom I grew up with. My parents did not divorce until I was nearly 20 years old, and from what I saw of their relationship, it had it's ups and downs and the only reason for the divorce really was because of extreme circumstances, that I will not go into detail on at this time. Since the divorce my mom has remarried, to Doug who has two sons of his own, whom I have yet to personally meet. The four of us bio-siblings only have 5 years between myself and the "baby". I also admire my mother for the challenges and tribulations we brought her growing up, especially so close together.

I grew up rather quickly, taking on child care & home responsibilities way too early in life, but it was the best my parents thought they were able to do with what they had, so what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...or at least more resilient to other trials...right?

I moved out of my parents house shortly after my 18th birthday, went and rented the attic room at my cousin's grandma's house..."Grandma Wanda"... a number of things happened all at once in my life then, both directly & indirectly affecting me. I turned to drinking for comfort, eventually meeting a guy, "falling in love", getting married, and gave birth to my son, Mikeal, in August of 2002.

Expecting Mikeal saved my life, I'm sure of it. I started waking up and realizing that there is more to life than all the bullshit I'd already endured. When he was 13 months old I finally had enough courage to leave his father.

Then I learned a hell of a lot about just what kind of hell can be thrown at a person.

I sank into drinking & drugs this time, many times not really caring if I lived or died through the night. I reached what felt like rock bottom, before I came to terms with myself and put my foo down that regardless of what others' opinions were I was going to go live MY life.

I moved in with some people I knew through the restuarant that I worked at. And started to live my social life from a keyboard...it kept me out of bars & clubs and definitely saved my life.

In no time I'd met a caring group through a chat room. One offered to me the chance to completely start my life over. He'd give me 6 weeks of room & board, free of charge... During that 6 weeks I'd have to find a car, job, & place to live. Oh, it was also 600+ miles from absolutely everyone I knew. My grandmother gave me $400...that bought a bus ticket for Mikeal & myself & just enough left over to work with...

Threw that same chatroom other persons "stepped-up" to help me out. A few would drive at least an hour one direction to take me to look for a job, daycare, etc... The second day on my search I landed a job, only about a mile from the house I was staying at, day care only another two miles down the road... The day after my initial interview someone gave me a decently reliable car...granted I could drive off in it...it was a 5-speed and I'd only ever once driven a standard transmission vehicle, through the field at the house I grew up in, and not even once all the way around, before my dad "gave up"... I tested it out around his block...a block that was located on the side of the hill, in one of the more posh neighborhoods of almost downtown Austin, TX... I made it back to his driveway, he signed over the papers, I drove the 30 miles from the south side of ATX, to the far northside...being forced to drive through downtown on my way... I made it. I loved that car. 1996 Mitsubishi Galant, silver.

About 4 weeks into this "arrangement", right after Mikeal's 2nd birthday I was invited to a Labor Day BBQ that was being hosted & attended by the "local" chat group. I drove an hour one way out of my way to make sure that my "e-crush" would be able to make it... I fell hard in love with him that weekend.

It was a love & longing for his company like I'd never known was possible before. I moved into his place a few weeks later, most out of convience than anything, I needed a place to live, he needed a new roommate as his was getting ready to leave for Iraq & he was out of work due to a workman's comp case that was pending at that time.

It was a really rocky start. I still wasn't legally divorced and he was a depressed man who was used to being used, abused, and thrown away. I don't blame him for a lot of the early "scuffles" & break-ups we had back and forth, he refused to let me get too close because he didn't want to "care" enough for me to hurt him.

I'm a bit more stubborn though. I "played along" going my separate way when he insisted on it, put on a strong face, etc.

Things happened and finally I had to move back "home" to Oklahoma, so that I could actually get my divorce completely done & over with, and other things cleared up.

I went over 18 months before I saw his face again, a year of that without hearing a single utterance from him, not even an email.

I did finally start to try to "get over him" and the day before my first date with another guy, 14 months since I'd last heard anything from him he sent me an email. I'd moved back to Texas at this time & was living with a girlfriend of mine. We started talking back and forth..and then the guy I had started seeing & I just went our separate ways...once in a while I'll remember what his name was...he still owes me money even, oh well.

Brian came back into mine & Mikeal's life right before Christmas, right after I'd moved into my own place, finally, no roommates, no drama, etc. My place, I was the one that did all the deciding on who can or cannot come over, what drama I'd allow in my home, etc...oh I was a cocky bitch about it. All these people who'd told me I wasn't ever going to be anything more than a mooch were proven wrong...I just had to find that head on my shoulders that I'd put away for a while, to "get by".

In March 2007 my father passed away, he'd had a pretty severe heart condition for a number of years, but was also diagnosed with full blown cancer from his throat to his colon, encasing every digestive organ of his body...he wasn't yet 45 when he died of a heart attack. Brian accompanied me on the trip back up here for the funeral.

During dinner, that we'd arrived late for, because we were talking at a friend's place, he asked me to marry him. I honestly, hand on the Bible, never really saw that day ever coming. I made him ask me twice. I'd started working in my mind that we were doomed to be nothing more than friends, that my heart was doomed to forever be broken by him, that I'd always have that ache for him. Even during the extended time that we were apart it wasn't the fact that we weren't together that kept my heart broken, but the fact that I never thought I'd ever know if he was alright, if he was being taken care of, if he was taking care of himself, etc...not knowing anything was a thousand times worse than if he'd passed away.

Anyways.

Later in April we found out I was expecting. The very LAST thing we ever expected was to be expecting. Brian has had multiple hernia surgeries, the last one being a very badly botched job...it was determined that he would be forever sterile. The one thing he always said he wanted in life was a child of his own, but since that last surgery...some 6 years before I met him...when he was told he wouldn't be able to have children he only sought out single mothers. And yes, he and Mikeal were FAST buddies from day one, he even played a huge part in getting Mikeal completely potty trained back then...showing him the "boy ropes" that mommy wasn't able to teach him.

In July Brian & I decided to move back to the area that my family lives in, so that they could be around to help out and what not...that was a joke for the most part, but there was slight intent there.

October 31st 2007 we got married.

December 13th we welcomed Miss Mikaila Jade. She's something else.

I honestly could of never imagined myself having two such wonderful, smart, cooperative kids. Mikeal is an awesome big brother. Absolutely has all the qualities of a big brother that I would of wanted for myself....the one thing I ALWAYS wanted in life was a big brother..instead I got two younger ones and two younger step brothers... and of course my younger sister.... And Mikaila..OY! That girl has everyone wrapped around her little toe....well everyone but the "Mean ol' Mommy". lol I have never seen such love for a child or even from a child. Her little blue eyes just light up at the sight of anyone, her little blondish curls bounce when she gets excited, and her little crinkle nose, she can melt anyone. Mikeal isn't much different...one flash of those big blue eyes, with those long dark eyelashes...enough to make any woman jealous. Then when he opens his mouth to speak...things way beyond his years and what one would expect to be within his realm of understanding, he just takes it all in.

That fairly well sums up the short story version of it all. I'll add more as I'm able to talk about it.

Tonight my thoughts and prayers are with some families that are being touched by impeeding loss. One, a father & his family who are facing the end of his battle with brain cancer. Another for a friend of mine's girlfriend & her ongoing struggle with the same type of cancer, latest news is hers has also taken a sudden turn for the worse, I don't know much about her, except that my friend cares a great deal about her, I can't even say for sure if she has children...but my prayers are with you all, and your families.

1 comment:

  1. ...yes...this is my "short, HIGHLY abridged version"...

    ReplyDelete