Friday, January 20, 2012


I know this is going to be a bit out of order in the way of blog posts goes, I should have taken the time to squeeze out a minute to blog each day - yea right, I don't even do that when it's quiet & boring here - but I didn't, so now you get the "after" story...

What makes this story even more fun is it's not even done yet.  I'd say at this point we are at the intermission.

But I'm going to start with the introduction, then each post that follows will detail another day.

*Due to the sensitive nature of all details & to protect the privacy of persons involved in this story names have been changed (outside of my family) and places have been generalized.  Also, all opinions are my own unless otherwise stated.  I will present all facts as I know them to be.  My posts here and here will serve as the Epilogue for this series, even though they were written first.

Elvis - Friend of ours, from England, mainly works as an Elvis impersonator - LOVELY man & great talent.
Prissy - ex-girlfriend of Elvis. Former FBI agent. Current gas station attendant.  They were together 5 years.
Officer Trusted - Local officer of the law.  Friend of Elvis.
Tim - new boyfriend of Prissy.
Lady Gold - Influential Missouri Friend
Brooklyn  - Fun Twitter friend who helped give Elvis some distractions.
Mr. Orlando - Orlando lawyer
Detective Slip - Detective that first showed up & slipped down my steps
Officer NiceGuy - Officer that verified things were legit, originally, also friendly with Elvis.
Detective Fill-In - Detective that filled in while Detective Slip was being x-rayed at the hospital
Ex-Prissy #1 - First husband of Prissy; father of her two adult children
Ex-Prissy #2 - Second husband of Prissy - really huge dude that warned Elvis about Prissy early in their relationship
Sissy - Sister to Prissy
Sam - Ex-husband to Sissy
Brian, Mikeal, Mikaila - My husband & children, normally mentioned in this blog.

*Character list will be added to as needed.


Brian first met Elvis around the beginning of November when he brought his Saleen Explorer into the shop for an oil change.  While there they bonded over fancy cars, music, and over a few days Brian was able to show & help Elvis with vehicle repairs from where a local mechanic had charged him out the ass for a half-assed job.  I met Elvis this day, kinda, as well.  I'd gone up to the shop to see if Brian wanted anything for lunch & offered his co-workers some lunch.  Elvis was there, occupying a bay, while Brian's co-workers worked to fix a problem with the Saleen that was caused by a licensed, shady, money grubbing mechanic.  When I returned from getting the guys their lunch Elvis asked me about where his was & I just shrugged my shoulders at him, saying he should have spoke up when I'd asked 30 minutes before.  He was friendly enough then, he gave smack, I gave it right back, then went back on my way to go home & get Mikaila off the bus.

Over the next few days Brian spent quite a bit of time going over to Elvis's house fixing the Saleen, for roughly $100 where the previous mechanic had charged him over $1200 for a shitty job.  They further bonded over cars & music.  Elvis was on a seasonal break from touring & just enjoying the domestic life in the rural Nashville area.

I do have to admit fancy talk of knowing famous people & owning super fancy cars & yada yada related stuff had me quite skeptical about this dude.  I mean, come-on, we live just outside of Nashville, TN - everyone here is trying to be a big star & think they're hot stuff if they have fancy rims on their Prius.

Mid-December I met Elvis & hung out with him for quite a while, in his kitchen.  It's a modest house, smaller than the one I rent even, with a small OLD garage....inside the garage was a 2007 Ford Mustang Coyote - fire engine red.  OMG OMG one of the stories Brian had told me about the dude was true...not only did he own a Saleen Explorer, but he also owned a Mustang Coyote.  In the backyard was a lovely Corvette.  And Prissy showed up later in a fancy Cadillac.  Brian's beater Chevy that's half primer & my 04 Taurus that's been "well loved" by the children looked like junk in this yard.

During the course of the afternoon I sat there with Brian & Elvis, waiting for it to be time to get the kids for school, I really warmed up to Elvis.  A very lovely & likeable guy, even if the singing stuff turned out to be a far fetched thing, I was at ease in his presence.  His cockney accent was hard to fake, so I believed him being from England as he claimed, the works.  I left to get the kids & on my way back to Elvis & Prissy's place I stopped by the house to look him up on the internet.  Sure enough I found different videos & announcements about him - now he's not quite Garth Brooks recognizable, but if you've seen his shows you know who he is & he'll likely know you, even years later, if you introduced yourself to him.  Up to that point there was no evidence to doubt anything he'd said, I'd seen & touched the fancy vehicles for myself, I saw his videos that'd been posted months before, saw different tidbits about where he'd played locally even at both the high school & the middle school for fundraiser events, as well as at the fairgrounds a few times.  So the dude was legit enough in my book. at that point the dude panned out to be legit.  Prissy on the otherhand...well, her story was just strange, to put it mildly.  Supposedly a former FBI agent...had lost her kids to Ex #1 because he'd bribed them away from her...had supposedly been beaten by both her ex husbands, & a former alcoholic.  She was quite quiet, stand-offish, totally opposite of Elvis in the personality department.

Both of them took to the kids almost instantly.  It did help that my children are not annoying brats around new people.  Elvis was quite amused by them both because he'd never been around children in any sort of personable realm.  He thought they were awesome.  It also may have helped that he's like a big kid himself.

We ate dinner with them, helped cleaned up, went home to put the kids to bed & all that.  I left there thinking he was awesome, she was a bit odd, but they seemed quite great together.  Both would go on about how they'd been together for 5 years & never even had an argument or fight - WTF how does THAT happen!?

Time went on, Brian & Elvis got closer...I made them some candies for Christmas, invited them over for our Christmas dinner, but last minute she ended up with a headache and didn't want to come out & he stayed home with her.  Her son was also getting ready to leave for Afghanistan the next day, so I didn't blame her, if my son was leaving I'd want to stay in bed & worry about it as well.

Things started getting weird after that.

Now, this is a couple that, according to the two of them never have company, never go over to friends' houses, just stay home & up each other's butts when not working. - Mostly weird, but okay, whatever, it's their life.  They're both in their mid-40s, so okay.  It didn't seem to suit his personality & I never could really get a good read on hers, but whatever, right?  Not my life, they both seemed happy with it.  So be it.

New Years Eve evening, about 4:30pm Elvis called up & asked if we were going anywhere, had any plans, the like - he wanted to come hang out for New Years.  Sure great! We had no plans...and because we had no plans I'd done ZILCH in the cleaning department for a few days, so in less than 20 minutes my house was new guest ready.  Floors mopped, toilet scrubbed, shitton of toys cleaned up, dishwasher filled, and Brian ran to the store to get some charcoal for the grill to grill chicken breasts for dinner since we were having guests.  Hey - the weather was GORGEOUS for grilling & sitting around the grill fire...

Elvis learned to ride a 4 wheeler ATV for the first time...he did run over the brick fire pit in the backyard...thank goodness we'd burned off the brush, etc the day before & there were no hot coals left!  He also promptly decided he was never doing that again.  I commenced cooking the potatoes & veggies for dinner, Brian grilled the chicken & hung out with them...and mentioned that they seemed to be having a few troubles that they needed to talk out as we ate dinner inside & they sat outside, claiming to have already ate on their way over.

They left by 8pm, she complaining of a headache again, he just concerned about her & saying he felt she was just still upset over her son that she's not had a relationship, being overseas and made plans to see Brian the next day or so.

This closes the introduction.  We knew them 6 or 7 weeks before the shit hit the fan...and splattered.

*The following links will be updated as the posts are published*

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