Re-purposed Skirt

Okay, bear with me, I'm posting in a  hurry

The jeans I'd had for about 10years.  About 7 years ago I stepped over a barbed wire fence, caught the leg on it & ripped them well.  BUT  I had some old BDUs so used that to make cool camo patches for it.

Got bored around that time & embroidered some stars onto one of the pant legs & added the BDU camo pocket.

Still wore them as jeans...

I have this thing about barbed wire fences & being able to step over the one at my mom's place...ripped half the leg out.

BUT MAN did I love these jeans.

I bought a yard of matching camp material & turned the jeans into a skirt, just messing around...hand sewed the whole thing, using embroidery thread, because that's what I had & I was going thru this huge patriotic phase then.

Wouldn't you know jeans don't quite fit right when you basically destroy them, especially when they're men's jeans to start with & you have another baby & the hips flare just a bit wider...  Last year I pulled it out to make some hip room into them...and my sewing machine crapped & I didn't have the patience anymore to do it by hand, not with two kids & school & everything else...and the arthritis.

Today I fixed my sewing machine & finished it for my post-apocalypse themed Halloween costume I'll be wearing tonight....

Here are the pictures.  Also just understand the boy didn't to be patient enough to just hold down the button for it to take a picture, so walked off because my camera was broken, in his opinion, so I had to take the pictures myself, while trying to stretch out far enough to actually get the best pictures I could of myself, without having to climb on my bed & take one in the dresser mirror....with giraffe legs....my shoulders would have been touching the ceiling to attempt that picture.

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Please Help!

A dear friend of mine's son was involved in a hit & run accident, as a pedestrian. As a result his left leg was shattered, requiring extensive surgery & a few days in the hospital. Happily he is home now, but sadly he is being held responsible for the medical & therapy expenses until (IF) they find out who hit him & if the perp even had insurance.

A fund has been set up at the Renasant Bank in the name of Wendi Piazza for Brenden Bezden Fund to help them with medical & other related expenses. Please consider & help them out. I know every little bit adds up and helps.

Also, the truck they are looking for is a newer, white, 4-Door Chevy pick-up that would have been in the Beltline/Hwy 20 area of Decatur, Alabama at 2am on Sunday, October 21st. Please share & help this family out. Thank you! 

It was covered by their local news station, but so far they've had no real leads.  

A Facebook Page has been set up for anyone who would like to stay up to date on progress and how to help!  

A Give Forward Page has also been set up and a donation widget is off to the right here! ----->>>> Please help this family as this catastrophe has put an additional hardship on the whole family that was just starting to get back on their feet after many months of unemployment.  They are being held wholly responsible for all medical expenses until the driver is found, which may never happen, unfortunately. 

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Sometimes I'll Blog

First, I have to say there have been some developments in this story.  A continuation of sorts.  I told you that I was sure were were just at the intermission, turns out I was right.  Elvis is returning to the United States & will have a permanent entertainment gig, where he should thrive.  Granted he stays away from the psycho bitches.

So, on with life:




Mikeal is doing awesome at school.  We have an IEP meeting to attend tomorrow, well, today, at noon.  First one for him, but oddly it has made me more nervous than I was for Mikaila's first one.  Mikaila needed special services for speech & behavioral issues caused by not being able to hear for a few years of her life.  Mikeal is requiring special services because he's intellectually gifted.  Now, I don't, yet, know all the results of all the tests they put him through, I'll update that sometime this weekend, but do know that in at least a few areas he's testing at an 'above high school level'.  He's in 5th grade.  He's a young 5th grader at that.  He just turned 10 at the end of August.  He's always been ahead of his classmates & has always been bored with schoolwork because it's easy for him.  Normally these tests are done when the students are in 2nd/3rd grade, but we didn't move here until Mikeal was in the middle of 2nd grade and the differences between education in Oklahoma and the education here in Tennessee is ENORMOUS!  Someone with an average intellectual ability would test high in Oklahoma, but on a national scale they would only just be average.  After three solid years of testings showing that Mikeal would exceed the expectations of what is normal for someone his age.  This past year's state standardized testing showed him scoring well above average, in everything.  So we started this year off with psychological exams, family history reports, yada yada a bunch of stuff.  I did intentionally leave off a lot of stuff about his sperm donor because I did NOT want Mikeal to be judged based upon the fuckery of that piece of scum.  ((I have that right to call him that.  He believes women should be beaten into submission if they fall out of the narrow line he's drawn, he likes to rape children, and thinks he has no responsibilities towards Mikeal because *he* did not ask for the divorce.))

Moving on.

Mikaila is also doing well.  Her teachers believe she'll do just fine academically with her classmates when she goes into Kindergarten next year, but it does seem we've reached a plateau where her speech progress is concerned.  Starting next week she'll be seeing the speech therapist in one on one sessions once a week, instead of two shared sessions.  She'll still have two sessions each week, just one will be solo.  She has taken to just throwing her hands up & shrugging, as if to say: "Well, I tried, I couldn't say it right, oh well, what are you going to do about it?"  The little twerp.  I ADORE her personality though.  Sweet, loving, sharp as a whip, and sassy sweet.  Not the mouthy punk teenager type of sass, but adorable, you can't help but laugh, she's almost 5, type of sass.  Sparkly blue eyes that make you know she's up to something, you just haven't figured it out yet...and that's too bad for you.  She also has FOUR very wiggly front teeth.  ZOMG  HOW does that happen so quickly!  My baby is getting so big.

Brian's doing alright selling cars.  It's been a slow month, but I'm sure it'll pick back up here shortly.  ((I actually have a lot to say about it, but will refrain.))

I'm doing well enough.  My heart is broken for friends that I'm unable to do more for, but do have to continuously remember that I am only one person & cannot yet save the world.  Man do I try though!  I still suck at it.  My health seems to be doing alright.  My knee is still wonky from time to time, but it starts acting right just before I go get the MRI done on it , so I put it off again.  This week it's cooperated with me walking on the treadmill & getting a ton of stuff almost done, so I suppose I can't complain much.  Our next cold front is moving in this morning, so I'm sure I'll be back to hobbling for a little while.  Right now I feel it in my head & back & feet, but it's creeping into the rest of my joints.  It sucks, but what else am I going to do?  School is going well and if I can refrain from major illness or surgery during my terms I'm sure it'd go much better!  Pneumonia is nothing to mess around with!

Next week Brian & I celebrate 5 years of marriage.  It's been a lovely mix of ups & down & consistent growth.  I really wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  My heart swells each time I think about him and how our life has morphed together.  It's simply amazing. ♥

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Cinnamon Roll Cake

Cinnamon Roll Cake

Cake Ingredients:
3 cups Flour  (I used equal parts all purpose flour & whole wheat flour)
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs
4 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup melted butter (I used actual butter, not margarine)

Combine all ingredients, except for the butter.  Slowly stir in the melted butter.  Pour into a 9x13 greased baking pan.  Make the topping.

Topping Ingredients:
1 cup softened butter (again, actual butter)
1 cup brown sugar
2 Tablespoons flour
1 - 2 Tablespoons Cinnamon

Cream ingredients together & whip well (should kinda seem bubbly, kinda like a chocolate mousse.  Drop evenly onto the cake batter in the pan, swirl well with a knife.  Bake at 350° for 28-32 minutes.  If you use the toothpick or knife method to check the cake the topping portion will be slightly wet rendering the 'test' useless.  You want the topping to be a bit wet/gooey.

Glaze Ingredients:
2 cups powered sugar
5 Tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon Vanilla

Combine well, pour over cake after it comes out of the oven.  ((Or just use the store bought glaze that's been in the pantry forever because you know you suck at making glazes))Enjoy.  This is a very sinful cake.  It is EVIL.  It will beg you to start eating as soon as it comes of the oven.  Wait for it to cool at least slightly - Cakes fresh out of the oven are HOT (or at least should be).  It's a 9x13 cake.  Unless you are prepared to eat the whole thing yourself it is advised you take it to a large gathering of friends/family so others will eat it before you devour all of it.  Make sure you grab the first piece as soon as you set it on the table.  Enjoy.  ☺

This recipe courtesy of Dani at My Corner of the Pond.

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Just wondering...

I watched the Presidental hopeful debate the other night and it left me with some questions.  Yes, I do understand that my questions seem to be directed to one side of the debate, I already have a favorable opinion of Obama.  I'm wanting someone to convince me to have a favorable opinion of Romney.   

So my questions are (and I'm dead serious, so if you an provide answers & links, with facts, I'd love to see them & feel free to pick & choose which questions you answer, I'm not expecting one person to have all the answers, unless you do...):

1 - What is the difference between a tax credit or break & tax reduction?
2 - How much will an oil pipe line, that runs from Alaska, thru Canada, into the US, cost, in USD?
3 - Have Canadians already given the green light to run this pipeline, all the way threw their country?

4 - Are the Canadians going to allow this pipe to run, free of charge?
5 - How is this oil pipe line going to save any money, at all?
6 - Is the funding cut to Sesame Street going to fund this pipeline?
7 - If Sesame Street's funding is going to fund the pipeline, how is that going to pay off our debt?
8 - How does taking low-cost birth control options away help with getting people out of poverty?
9 - How does not covering a pre-existing condition save the health care industry any money?
10 - How is "universal health care" a death panel philosophy but denying coverage to the poor, sick, elderly, and children not a death panel philosophy?
11 - Are these millionaires going to agree to pay their employees higher wages...without raising the cost of everything?
12 - Why should we bother with looking for a cure for things, like cancer, if all possibilities are not allowed to be tested?
13 - If things, like cancer, become curable, how will the pharmaceutical companies make their money?
14 - If the pharmaceutical companies are not making money, what is their initiative to find a cure?
15 - If the Federal Government stops giving funds for education, how will states that are already struggling, with the funds, going to manage?

That should be enough for the time being....

And please take my questions with a grain of salt.  I'm *just* a public high school graduated stay-at-home-mom working her way through getting a college education, with only my Freshman year behind me, raising a family below the poverty level.  It's reasonable to assume I know nothing about what I'm talking about based on that.

*insert eye roll*

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Making This Simple

In light of this being election season I have, once again, found myself to be OVERWHELMED with the amount of hatred there is in this country towards people who aren't   *whatever*.

I once again feel I need to clarify where I stand on many issues, then just forward the link onto those who are curious.

1 - I believe health care should be affordable for EVERYONE.  Thanks to policies only recently set into motion my family has that option.  Prior to these policies it meant that my family had to pay $1200 a MONTH JUST for the PREMIUM.  That did NOT include any copays, deductibles, yada yada extra crap.  So we went without, because it's cheaper to pay that one or two $5000 bills we MIGHT incur, than to pay a guaranteed $20,000 a year, on a less than $18,000 a year income.

2 - I believe that minimum wage is a joke.  Yes, it was raised $2.10/hr since the last election, but that still translates to only $15,080 a year for someone never missing a single day of work & putting in 40 hours a week.  Sure, it's easy to tell them to get a better education/better paying job...but then who will serve you your fancy $8 a cup coffee?  Or who will change the oil in your car?  Who is going to make sure your brand of wine is stocked on the shelf?  Who's going to make sure there's a cashier for you to purchase the gas from for your Mercedes?

3 - I believe that MY family plan is MY business.  Not yours or anyone else's.  I do believe that anyone who wishes to prevent the conception of a child should have access to effective & safe contraceptives.

4 - I do not believe someone who is ill equipped mentally or emotionally to care for a child should be blatantly forced to do so.  After all I've seen in my life I sincerely believe some children would have been better off if they had been aborted.  Absolutely no child deserves to be abused or tortured.  And don't try to feed me the bullshit about the child being put up for adoption or there being agencies in place to look after the welfare of children.  The adoption laws in this country are bullshit to work through and a person cannot go a single day without hearing about how shocked the community is that this perfect family had a child locked in a closet for years, in their own shit, or beat their infant to death, or FUCKING FORGOT that they had children in their vehicle when it's 100° outside.

5 - I do believe in the death penalty.  If you purposely take the life of another human being I believe death is your reward.  And by purposely that includes acts of negligence - see above - LEAVING YOUR CHILD IN A SWELTERING VEHICLE counts; being a drunk driver counts; being irresponsible with a firearm counts.  End of story.  In the cases where the shooter of the firearm is under the age of 14, then hold the parents responsible.

6 - I believe people should be allowed private access to firearms.  I should be allowed to be able to protect myself from anyone wishing to cause me/my family harm.  I should also be allowed to hunt game if I so desire to provide for my family.  But, also see #5.

7 - I believe everyone should pay the same, exact, tax rate.  If I'm only making $15,000 a year, then chances are SUPREMELY great that I'm not using the roads or convention centers or any number of other tax paid things even half as much as someone who makes $150,000 a year, so if they're paying in 30% & I'm paying in 30%, it's roughly equal to how much I use the public works services.

8 - Hell, I even believe that it'd be totally fair for me to pay an additional 10% of my income to cover health insurance.  It'd be a HELL of a LOT CHEAPER than paying the 150% expected of me now.  And if we're all paying, then it's covered.  You wouldn't believe the awesome interest rate the government gets on your dollar just sitting in their account!

9 - I believe it is ABSOLUTELY NONE of MY business whom someone else marries, unless they're wanting to marry me.  Unfortunately, for you, I'm already married, so you'll have to look somewhere else.  But seriously, what difference does it make if a person married a dude or a chick?  It's what's going to make them miserable.  No one said anything to me when my ex-husband was acting like a douchebag, but I was too young and naive to know any better.  Where were they to tell me HE IS ABUSING YOU!  RUN AWAY! Or "he's using these drugs when you're not around"?  Hell, the fucking cops wouldn't even tell me what he was charged with when he admitted, on tape, to intentionally trying to have sex with a FIVE (5) year old child!  I was LIED to for six goddamned MONTHS during the pre-trial bullshit.  When I left his sorry ass I was shunned for being a divorcee.  Yea, way to go me - at least I married a man & not a woman, because that's all that matters...but then I'm just as bad off because I got a divorcee, so I'm still going to Hell.

10 - I believe we're all entitled to our own religious opinions and affiliations.  This is NOT a Christian nation.  This is a FREE nation.  Spelled out, right there, black and white that the government cannot make a law "respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. Oddly freedom of religion seems to be thing in this country often revoked...
~~1649 - Freedom of religion was established in Maryland.
~~1653 - Catholics were outlawed from practicing their religion, in the same township that established religious freedom!
~~1657 - Freedom of religion restored.
~~1692 - Catholics outlawed from practicing their religion
~~~~~~~~Each of those Acts were in the same township.  Seriously, WTF?!
~~1776 - Religious freedom restored for EVERYONE...
~~Present day - it seems that's only true if you practice Christianity, but only secular Christianity, the kind that makes a huge profit for their leader each year.  By leader I'm not referring to the god Jehovah of their Holy Bible; I'm referring to Benny Hill or the Pope or whomever else is popular this week to look to instead of the god of their Holy Book.

11 - I believe everyone is entitled to the right to be an ignorant ass.  Just as I have the right to call them out on it.

12 - I believe I should just go ahead & publish this post instead of sitting on it any longer.  It's been in my draft folder for a while now.

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Long time no see

...first an update about my previous post.  Yes, I know, it's been a while, whatever, life has been busy.  I had my mammogram, honestly it was no where near as frightening or painful or anything else of that nature as people would like for you to believe.  They put your boobs between two plastic plates, just tight enough that you don't have to hold them, snap a few pictures, & you're done.  I think wearing a bra is WAY more intrusive & annoying than getting a mammogram.  Due to the fact I'm only 30 the tech only took one x-ray, to limit the amount of radiation I'd be exposed to, then we moved onto the ultrasound.  If you've ever been pregnant the boob ultrasound is WAY less uncomfortable than an abdominal one....and 10,000x less than a trans-vaginal one!  Test results though showed beautifully healthy boobs!  The lumpiness is just fibrocystic tissue & I was told to not worry about that ugly "c" word, just come back in 10yrs for my next scan, unless of course a lump or lumps feel like they're on my pectoral muscles themselves or near my armpits.

The kids are doing well.  Mikeal is on the list to be tested for the intellectually gifted program.  At some point in time the school will get with it & get that finished so we can move onto an IEP for him.  He turned 10 last month.  Kinda unbelievable how far we've come in the last 10 years and how quickly it really does seem to go now, looking back.  Very cliché, I know, but whatever.

Mikaila seems to have reached a plateau of sorts with her speech.  It's also quite annoying to see her give up on trying, anything, so quickly.  If she doesn't 'get it' immediately she just moves on.  She reminds me of something....

Brian is doing awesome with his new job!!  He's selling cars at the Ford dealership here in town.  It's an AWESOME fit for him & he's totally rocking it!

I'm still in school, still painting glass, and still rocking the mom thing, also started cleaning houses once in a while with a friend.  I think I've reached a new level with my personal demons & depression - they don't seem to bog me down as much as they used to.  I'm not yet totally in the clear, but some of the fog is lifting & that's been great.

My next post (I hope it's my next post) I hope will help me get past more of my fog & bring things into perspective, at least to myself, since I mainly just write this for me & a few others, once in a while.

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Nervous

Sometime next week I'll be getting the call to get a mammogram & breast ultrasound done.  A "right of passage" generally reserved for females over the age of 40.  I just turned 30 back in May.  This isn't an elective scan.

Last year at my yearly lady check-up my doctor had noticed my breasts were lumpy & mildly tender.  It was the first time a doctor had ever said anything about it, even though, from my recollection they've always felt this way and every year I've gone in for my yearly check-up.  It's not like it's a single lump or on just one side.  The lumpiness is fairly uniform & is worse at different stages of my monthly cycle.  Some weeks it's highly pronounced lumpiness. Other weeks it's just mild lumpiness. What I neglected to remember, or be told, was that I was supposed to return in two weeks and have her examine them again to check for any changes.  So it's been a year, since she last examined my breasts, and where her opinion is concerned, I was at a stage in my cycle when the lumpiness should have been at it's lowest point.  Instead the lumps were quite hard & tender.  Further complicating the matter is that the lumps area deep in my breast tissue, not far enough away from the general rib muscle to distinctively say that it's one thing or another.

The most likely culprit is that I have fibrocystic breast tissue, which is nothing really to worry about, except for the fact it makes traditional lump detection nearly impossible.  But there's still that slight margin of possibility that it could be something more serious. 

I do, mostly, have genetics working in my favor.  My mom has had several breast ultrasounds done for spots that would show up on a mammogram, only for them to be found to just be water cysts.  There is also no known cases of breast cancer in either side of my family.  That's not to say there isn't cancer in my family. 

My dad passed away just weeks after finding out he had stage 4 cancer.  Due to the fact it wasn't caught until he was at the end stages of it and it had already spread through all of his digestive tract, there's nothing to say it started off as just throat cancer, or colon cancer, or  pancreatic cancer, or stomach cancer, or any other organ cancer.  He died of a heart attack, but that's not to say the cancer didn't help push him there quicker, at 45, plus other surrounding circumstances.

My dad had two uncles die of cancer.  One had lung cancer, the other brain cancer.

Then there was my maternal grandmother who, at 75, was diagnosed with bone cancer.  She refused treatments, even refused to tell anyone in the family, until she was at the end stages of it, a year after her diagnosis. 

And that's it.  No other cancers.  No other genetic anomalies that put my family line at high risk for cancers.  My grandmother had always dealt with osteoporosis, due to her slight build, extreme dieting she always did, and I'm sure her job also contributed, in addition to multiple pregnancies back to back when she was in her late 30s.

The great-uncle who died of lung cancer had always worked in construction, he died in 2002, not long after the tie was made to asbestos and cancers.  The great-uncle who died of brain cancer was a military guy who was exposed to a great number of things.  He was just in his late 50s, died in the mid-90s.  My dad...he liked chewing tobacco, some say that's what his demise was from.  But he also had a bad heart that wasn't diagnosed as such until he was in his mid-30s, then was on a number of medications for that that may have help hide some of the early symptoms plus the circumstances he was living in for the last several years of his life that likely didn't help any of the matters.

So, I'm technically not worried about it being cancer.  At the same time though I'm not going to just blow it off.  I just hope they can get solid answers without having to drag it out too long.  Of course I do know that because of this I'll have to go in for regular scans, ultrasounds, and mammograms for the 'just in case' scenario.  Best to be proactive than to be blasé about it. 

But, I guess there's not much sense in worrying about something no one has any solid answers about, right?

Doesn't keep it from happening though.

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Kids & Facebook

So, about 2yrs ago I broke the grand Facebook laws of no one under age 13 being allowed on the site and set up an account for my son, who was only 8 at the time...he wasn't even aware he had an account until about 6 months ago and has only known the password to log into it on his own for the last month or so...I'd created to assist myself in winning some movie tickets (which worked) and all has been well in the world.  He has 12 "friends"...myself, Brian, a few adult friends of ours & some of their kids who also have Facebook pages at various ages.

Whatever. I control whom has access to his page, who is his friend, and read all the private messages on a fairly regular basis....as he ages and gets more involved with talking to people on there and adding friends that I don't know and especially if I don't also know their parents I'll check it more often.  I know everything he does on there and it keeps my timeline from being flooded with his posts from Farmville, Angry Birds, Happy Aquarium, etc...because he & Mikaila love to play the apps.

You know, being the responsible for my child's online activities.  Duh.  Until he is 18 years old I will check his Facebook account as often as I please and will know everything that is going on as far as his online activities are concerned and will check on his online friends and their postings. 

ANYWAYS...now that I've said my piece about that onto the real potatoes of this post.

Today was one of those days when I decided I'd check out his private messages, especially since he seemed to be quite annoyed with one little gal...she's quite inappropriate for my taste, so she's since been deleted from his friend list.

But I found some real gems in some other conversations he'd had with another gal that I do know...

K is the daughter of a friend of ours/niece to some other friends...she recently made a trip to the Gulf Coast with some family of hers and she has a younger brother who is the same age as Mikeal, was even in his class this last school year...they were giving Mikeal the play by play...this is that conversation:


K: Well we didn't leave till 9 30
M: ok
K: And we didn't get to alabama till 1 in the afternoon
M:  it only takes 3 &a half hours to get thereK: we had to do some stuff in tennessee so it took longer
M: ok
K: And we got to chuck e cheeses at 5
M: okkkk
K: Now we are back on the road
M: oooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
K: Y do u keep saying that?
M: there was nothing else to say

I absolutely cracked up at his frankness with them.  Simple, direct, to the point. 

And as I scrolled further back I came across this gem...it was AWESOME!



M: y dont you play games
K: idk just dnt wanna
M: what does idk stand for
K: i dnt know
M: yd you say it



So far though, after scrolling back as far as all the messages go...there's no word yet on who has the drug stash nor where the party is with the free alcohol...must dig deeper to find his alternate account that he uses to discuss those details.

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Yes, I am Mom Enough.

I am Mom Enough to breastfeed my first child until we decided that was the end of it...just shy of 13 months.

I am Mom Enough to breastfeed my second child until it was determined we were both happier when she took a bottle - at less than 4 months old.

I am Mom Enough to go live out of a truck that didn't like to stay running because it was safer than living at home with my (ex) husband when my son was barely past a year old.

I am Mom Enough to accept help offered to me by complete strangers 600 miles from everything I was familiar with.  Persons I'd only spoken to in a chatroom and over the phone.

I am Mom Enough to juggle my child between daycares & friends so that I could work 2 fulltime & a part time jobs a week to keep a roof over his head.

I am Mom Enough to move another 600 miles back home, where the potential threat was high, but I had to get my divorce finalized once & for all.

I am Mom Enough to put my foot down with hospital directors, judges, lawyers, and doctors who think their shit doesn't stink, while pregnant, to make sure my husband got the medical care he needed, not just what was convenient them.  And won.

I am Mom Enough to raise two bright, respectful, well-behaved, children, who know when I make a threat I'm going to follow through with it.

I am Mom Enough to know when something isn't right with my children & press for different medical testing & opinions until the problem is corrected.

I am Mom Enough to know when I am unable to adequately homeschool my children, so make sure they attend public school & excel at it by supplementing that education any way I know how, everywhere we may go.

I am Mom Enough to know when it's time to uproot and make some serious life changes to better my family.

I am Mom Enough to juggle going to school, starting a business, taking care of my children, loving my husband, having a social life, and keeping a sanitary home.

I am Mom Enough to recognize my Mommy Experience is TOTALLY different from yours and I RESPECT that.

I am Mom Enough to roll my eyes at your judgments towards me and know you're not Mom Enough to handle MY Mom Experience. 

I am Mom Enough to know that in no way am I able to handle your Mom Experience, even if the only reason it may be so sensational is because you have a judgmental ego and think you're so much better than the rest of us.

Every Mom is different.  Every Mom has a story.  Every Mom has their own style. 

Motherhood is a demanding job.  Some Moms are given the luxury of being able to sit in their home, with their nannies, maids, and personal chefs so that they can pass judgment on Moms who don't live to their standard of mothering.  Other Moms have two children, only 11 months apart, one a premie, are an active duty Marine, and married to an active duty Marine and selflessly spend every moment they can with their children because they never know when they'll be given 3 hours notice to put their life on the line so that judgmental bitches can judge them freely without fear of persecution, because that is their choice.

I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to just keep their children alive.

I am Mom Enough to respect Mothers who fight day in & day out to get their children the specialized services their child deserves.

I am Mom Enough to admit that where I'm sure I'd do it if I had to, I am thankful I don't have to face such fights at this time.

I am Mom Enough to admit that I lucked out with our current doctor, school system, and various therapists.  Not once have I had to fight to have specialized tests run on either of my children - if I asked for a second opinion or specific testing they've each willingly obliged.  Not once have I had to press for therapy services for Mikaila...not only that but when her teachers noticed that her motor skills were not up to par with her NT classmates they pressed for physical therapy - I had to sign two papers, they did the rest.

I am Mom Enough to admit I've screwed up along the way. 

I am Mom Enough to know that the only Moms who haven't screwed up along the way are the ones ROYALLY screwed up.

I am also Mom enough to know that Time Magazine & Yahoo! News are so full of crapola the water & sewage treatment plants must be jealous.

Live on Moms & Enjoy!  You only get one chance to raise the adults of the future!  When it comes down to it, we all need therapy - some of us can embrace the insanity that is life - others, well...

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Riding in Cars with Boys vs Girls

So the other day  I had this experience of riding in cars with boys...

That was followed up with a bit of sadness as my momma cat quit taking care of her babies....not sure if she quit producing milk or what her deal is, but it's the same fate that befell her first litter last year.  Anyways, I took the kids with me to the vet's office to get some kitten nursing bottles.

Mikeal (remember, 9yo boy) asks me:  "If you get breast implants can you still feed your babies?"
Me:  "I imagine so, it's just a silicone water balloon put in behind the mammary glands that produce the milk."
Mikeal:  "Can they pop?"
Me:  "I've heard of it happening."
Mikeal:  "So the baby can bite it & it pop, then drink the water?"
Me:  "Not quite..."
Mikeal:  "So if you have breast implants you're always ready for a water balloon fight!"
Me:  "No, Mikeal.  The implants are surgically implanted, under the skin & tissues, then sewn up over.  Also - they're silicone, that stuff daddy uses to seal the gaskets & such on cars to keep water & fluids from leaking out everywhere"
Mikeal:  "Okay, whatever"

....
Yesterday we went to a friend's house to go swimming & ended up leaving Mikeal there with the boys to spend the night & brought home two girls, age 5 & 7 to spend the night with Mikaila.

This morning I took the girls home.

I noticed my neighbor home & so I stopped for a minute to see if his wife was home.
5yo:  "Why are we going here?"
7yo: "This isn't my house."
I'm trying to talk to my neighbor asking about his wife & chit chat for a minute about the insane prices of buying replacement parts for lawnmowers in the summer (He repairs lawnmowers on the side.)

I bid him good day, we go back on our way...
7yo: "Why did we stop here?"
Me:  "I just needed to talk to his wife for a minute, but she's not home."
5yo:  "Why is she not home?"
Me:  " She's probably at her son's house to help take care of him & his kids."
7yo:  "Why does she take care of them? If he's grown and has kids doesn't he have a wife?"
Me:  "He's very sick & his wife lives somewhere else."
5yo: "Why is he sick?"

Sadly these girls' grandfather just passed away a couple of months ago from lung cancer.  My neighbor's son has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, 3 kids under 10, & his wife is a pillhead that in order for him to continue to receive hospice care she's not allowed on the property because she steals his pain meds...I then try to tread delicately because the girls are not my kids & I know their parents are very closed when it comes to discussing a lot of things....

Me:  "He has cancer & can't do a lot of things by himself."
5yo:  "Does he cough because of it?"
Me:  "I don't know"
5yo:  "Does it make him throw up?"
Me:  "Maybe"
5yo:  "I got sick and it made me cough and cough and I throwed-up"
Me:  "It's different than that.  You don't have cancer yours got better with lots of rest & medicines your mommy gave you."
5yo:  "My daddy got me the medicine when I throwed-up & then I drank some Sprite & it made me throwed-up more."
7yo:  "It's THREW UP, not throwed-up"

Argument ensues about verbs and proper tenses of verbs.

We had only made it about 1.5miles from the house by this point....and it's a 8 mile drive to their house.

I turn on the radio and the conversation turned to what everyone was singing about on the radio. 

I'd much rather ride in cars with boys...they ask the easy questions.

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Tennessee Enchiladas

I call them Tennessee Enchiladas because I've had real Mexican enchiladas & well, they have cheese & tortillas in common ....and are saucy.

Ingredients:
1 can of:
 ~ Cream of Chicken Soup
 ~ Cream of Celery Soup
 ~ Cream of Mushroom Soup
 ~ Cream of Cheddar Soup
 ~ 7oz Green Chilis
 ~ Black Beans - drained & rinsed
 ~ Diced Tomatoes
1 packet Enchilada seasoning
1 lb ground meat - your choice or cooked, shredded chicken
30 flour tortillas
3lbs shredded cheese (or so)
3 cups milk

Directions:

In a large pan cook meat thoroughly with enchilada seasoning.  Stir in Green chilis, tomatoes, & drained, rinsed, black beans.

Simmer about 3 minutes.  Add in all soups & milk.  Boil about 5 minutes, stirring well.

Cover the bottoms of two 9x13inch pans with a thin layer of the sauce.  Add cheese to the tortillas & roll-up, packing tightly into the pans, until pans are full.  Just a small half-handful or so of cheese for each tortilla.  Using the remaining soup cover the tortillas.

Bake 30-45 minutes until bubbly.

I just bake one pan & freeze the other for use later.

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Riding in Cars with Boys

No, this is not a movie review.

Truth be told I've never seen the movie, but it's a fitting title to this entry.

I also realize I went a few weeks there where I was blogging daily and then I just STOPped again.  That's just how I roll.

I must first set this stage.

Two years ago my family & I moved here to Tennessee.  We rent a lovely farmhouse from a gal I had met on a mommy board forum thingy...

This gal has 4 sons, ages 13, 14, 16, & 20, and one grandson, age 16 months; complete with her bipolar husband that she's known since at least middle school, two dogs, two rabbits, 50+ fish, a mouse, a hamster, a tarantula, and two cats).  Top that reality TV!



Long story short my family is an extension of her family...her VERY extensive family of in-laws & blood relatives...we all celebrate all the holidays together, kids' birthdays, random weekends, the whole works.  I ABSOLUTELY love it & them!  If most of my in-laws & half my family weren't destined to live in the nuthouse to avoid prison I imagine it'd be how I would imagine my family life being - some petty drama, but everyone still loved, honored, & respected each other & didn't even have to pretend to do these things!

In short, off the top of my head, there are, counting my two kids, about 12 boys - ages - 21, 20, 17, 16, almost 15, 13, 10, 10, 9, 9, 4, 2, & 16mo ....There is also almost as many girls - ages - 18, 15, 14, 12, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and almost 2.  And one baby on the way.  Plus a dozen or so on the sidelines that fade in & out there...hey, I've been here 2 years, see them all at least a dozen times a year & I still don't have the count down totally.  There is also 15 or so adults for this particular batch, plus another dozen or so that belong to the dozen or so other kids...  In short - a LOT of people.  I've lived in towns that didn't have as many people in it.

But they all have their various levels of comfort, especially when it comes to things of a sexual manner.  I'm reasonably open with my kids, it doesn't bother or embarrass me to speak frankly/clinically with them & will answer or correct whatever misconception they may have about anatomy, sex, & child birth - I figure if I do well enough I won't have grandchildren until they're at least in their mid/late-20s.  RIGHT?


So, on with this...

On Friday the 20th my Carbon Kitty had kittens - 5 to be exact; 4 of which survived the birth.


awww...

On Saturday, the 21st, we were invited to the birthday party of one of the boys that just turned 9.



All went well at the party.  As the party wound down, that was held at the "MeMaw's" house, Mikeal wanted one of the 10yo boys to come spend the night with us.  I discussed it with his mom & things were settled, such was to happen.

Now, MeMaw lives about halfway between where I live & where my landlady lives (8miles from each of our houses to MeMaw's).  My landlady's just turned 16yo boy works about 1/2 a mile from my house & had to be at work by 4:30, but my landlady had to run home first & take care of some stuff there, before having to run him back out 16 miles, yada yada...  Being the awesome person I am I volunteered to take the 16yo to work - hell, so long as I don't speed past the driveway it's really not at all out of my way.

So I left the party with 16, 10, & 9 year old boys & a 4 year old girl in my car...

I start going over the rules at my house because this particular 10yo boy has never spent the night at my place, plus we have BRAND new kittens.

I'm explaining about how there is NO TOUCHING ALLOWED of the kittens when my son pipes up to explain how our cat POOPED out the kittens....this is that conversation:

Mikeal:  Yea, Carbon pooped out the kittens!
16yo boy: *snicker*
Mikaila: NO WAY!
10yo boy:  Dude - That's GROSS!
16yo : *snicker laugh*
Mikeal:  It's true, all babies are pooped out!
Me:  They're not pooped out, Mikeal.
Mikaila:  EWWWWW
Mikeal:  Well, they came out of her butt!  (said all know-it-all-like)
16yo: *BWAHAHAHAHAHA* *snicker*
Mikeal to Mikaila:  Momma pooped you out!
Mikaila: *laughing* NO WAY!
Me:  No, I did not poop either of you out - I had cesareans with both of you, remember.  Kinda like how LugNut had the puppies - a doctor went in, cut a line across her stomach, then through the uterus, & pulled out the babies.
Mikeal:  BUT Carbon POOPED OUT THE BABIES! I SAW IT!
16yo:  *just howling & snickering*
10yo:  *mind just blown in shock & questions*
Me:  No, she did not.  See, women have what's known as a vagina & vaginal cavity that connects to a uterus where the babies grow...when it's time the babies are pushed down the vaginal cavity & come out the vagina, which is totally different from the butt where poop comes out.

16yo:  *SNICKERING*

Mikeal:

*wait for it*

*Get over your shock that I just told a car full of boys all about vaginas, and used the word vagina & vaginal cavity & uterus*

Breathing now?

Mikeal:  Oh, so babies are peed out!
10yo:  Well, if they're not pooped out, they have to be peed out.
16yo: *HOWLING*

Me:  Dammit!  I almost missed the driveway....

16yo:  Yea, it's hard to see the sign until you're right up on it.

16yo exits the car & goes into work

There is no more talk about vaginas, pooping babies, peeing babies, uterus-es, and the like for the remainder of the 10yo boy's stay at our house.

At some point in time I fully expect to hear from the 10yo's mother...maybe.  Of course I'm good enough friends with the 16yo's mother that I'll likely tell her the next time I see her in person & within a week or two that whole family will know all about it....and poor Mikeal won't have any more friends spend the night here...at least not of this batch of boys.  (No, that last part won't happen as I'm sure they all know that I don't shy away from it...FUCK - they'll likely send the boys over here more often so they can avoid these talks!)

This post was brought to you thanks to @jillsmo & her post: "And no information was actually imparted"  ...I hadn't thought about making it into a post until after I started my comment there.

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Introducing Miss Zoey Frances

My newest niece addition is here!  Isn't she precious?

My newest niece's momma is my new labor hero!  Today was her due date, but she started having semi-regular contractions on Good Friday...went to the hospital on Sunday, then sent home because the contractions backed off after she was given some Nubain for pain.  They continued, got bad again, went back to the hospital on Monday, same story.  On Wednesday the contractions were fierce & 2min apart for over an hour...so went back to the hospital & that time the hospital decided they'd keep her.  Thursday morning she wasn't making much progress so they started pitocin...Thursday evening the doc came in saw no progress since that morning, so broke her water.  6hrs later Miss Zoey arrived...with no other drugs.

Yes...nearly 7 days of labor contractions, no drugs, and Miss Zoey came into this world weighing 8pounds 1 ounce and just shy of 20 inches long.  (Momma did have to get two internal stitches)...

I'm told my brother is handling it well, but is quite the helicopter.  I really don't blame him though.  His first love had one, possibly two kids with him before she ran off with some other man, leaving no forwarding information.  Then last year his wife ran off when she was 6 months pregnant after the state told her they would be taking the new baby from her upon her birth after they terminated her rights to her oldest that she'd lost custody of before she & my brother met - she kept up the drugs & stripper lifestyle; even was part of a big prostitution ring at the 'massage' parlour she was working at as a 'receptionist' around the time she found out she was pregnant...and Daniel has only heard that she filed for a birth certificate - outside of that no one knows anything.  He's been with this new gal since not long after that all happened & things seem to be well enough.  At least I've never heard my mom say anything bad about Zoey's momma and they've been living at my mom's house for a while, so that's definitely something - my mom has something bad to say about everyone.

I really hope it works out for all of them this time & that their local economy straightens up so that everyone can get back to work on a regular/full time basis.  And I'm so thankful that he finally found a gal that the paternity of his child isn't in question & seems to actually have a head on her shoulders.

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Sensational Crab Cakes

I really wish I would have known crab cakes were SUPER easy!  ZOMG!  It took about 5 minutes to assemble and another 5 minutes to cook for each batch.  This recipe will make about 18 palm-sized crab cakes...if you make them smaller it'll make more; if you make them bigger it'll make less..  And really, this is just a guide, feel free to add or omit what you like, I'm just sharing the way I made them.

Ingredients:

1 - 8oz container of Daisy Light Sour Cream
1 cup Mayo (not that Miracle Whip stuff)
3 Tablespoons bottled horseradish
2 packages of Crab Classic Chunk style crab meat; well diced
            (yes, I know it's fake crab, but it has a nice taste)
2 sleeves of saltine crackers finely smashed
            (I used child labor to smash them in Ziplock bags)
handful of finely diced/chopped red onion
1 Tablespoon dried parsley
1/4 teaspoon or so of salt
1/2 teaspoon or more of ground black pepper

Olive oil


Directions:
Set aside about 1/2 a cup of the crushed crackers into a small bowl.

In a large mixing bowl add all the other ingredients.  Mix with a handmixer on medium speed until very well blended.  IF you don't have a hand mixer whisk everything but the crab, onion, & crackers together, once well whisked add crab, crackers, & onions, mix well. 

Pat into about palm sized patties, then coat in cracker crumbs that were set aside.

In a large skillet heat a few Tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat.  Carefully lay your crab cakes into the hot oil.  When the cakes start to turn just slightly brown around the edges flip the cakes, wait a few minutes, remove from the pan.  Serve.

I served ours over a bed of couscous that had been lightly seasoned with diced garlic, olive oil, & parsley.

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Gardenesque

This is a bit of a continuation from yesterday...

Cucumbers - raised tire beds.  I have a bare area in my yard where some idiots thought they'd do donuts in the yard (happened just before we moved in) and it just destroyed that area.  I've seeded it twice with grass seed to no avail, so why not put my cucumbers there..putting the hills in tires assists in my not having to do as much weeding as I may otherwise, right? 

((Besides, you wouldn't expect much less of a recycling momma who was married to a mechanic if she didn't take advantage of things like old tires, would ya?))

Tomatoes & Peppers (I still need more rocks for my veggie rock garden, but they're in the ground...) I started with an overgrown corner of the yard, trimmed it way down...at least until I ran out of string for the trimmer and then with my lovely garden spade & pick ax I dug out this corner of the area, removing all the grass & some large rocks.

It's still a work in progress since I just started it yesterday...I'll take pictures later this week/early next week of at least this finished section.  And OMG! The pollen build-up is INSANE this year!

Snow peas & Radishes I've had this raised bed for 3 seasons now & it does really well for the peas & radishes, then after the peas have sprouted & then started withering (mid-season) I yank them out & put in some green beans that die off when it starts getting cool, then I switch back to snow peas...sometimes I'm able to harvest both crops of peas.  ☺  Radishes just take a month from planting to harvesting, but suck if it's hot out, so I do them like the snow peas.

Broccoli, Spinach, Cabbage are each in my containers this year.  I also did either onion seeds or carrot seeds in the big container.  I also have one container of Strawberries.

Strawberries are the rulers of my little raised bed...and man do they look promising this year!

I also planted two blue berry bushes this year.  I may get a few berries off of it this year, but I'm not going to expect much.  ((As you can tell, I already need to mow again, BADLY!  This having to mow every other day to keep up with the lawn is getting ridiculous!))

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Gardening

I still have strawberry plants from two years ago, plus some others I've added to the bed since and it looks like most in the 3'x6' raised bed are well on their way to producing fruits - YAY!

Well...so long as creatures like these stay out of them...

This is my newest garden-to-be spot.  The side of a mound next to the house that's impossible to mow & annoying to use the weed trimmer on.

My plan is to get it trimmed as close to the ground as possible, then cover it with weed/grass killing plastic then dig/cut out areas for my plants (mainly tomato & peppers) and then cover the plastic with either rocks or mulch to keep it in place...a Rock garden for veggies maybe?

I was really shocked by some of the things I found while trimming in this area...and SOOOO thankful that I decided to wear my boots & jeans instead of my normal shorts & sandals...The trimmer hit an especially thick area and out slung a rat snake...spewing it's gutsy juices EVERYwhere...then the trimmer ran out of string...but I did succeed in killing the super scary grass monster!  ((I spared you (and I) pictures of it....))  But I did include a pic of my awesome work boots that I just LOVE!

 I'll share the rest of my garden areas tomorrow....or the next day...it depends on the rain.

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I Might Get Used to This

It's April 1st.

Traditionally by this time of year things have kinda started blooming, it's still cool, but you can just almost taste summer in the air.

This year.  It is 85 freaking degrees!  It's been early summer here for over a month!

And are we ever enjoying it!

Traditionally (for us at least) heading out to the park for the kids to play in the creek there is reserved for after Memorial Day, at the end of May.  This year we started yesterday & went again today.

The bugs are a bit of a nuisance & the lack of shade from the trees not all being fully leafed out makes for a well sun kissed Momma...  Tangent:  WTH!  I'm about as white as a white girl can come, freckles, strawberry blonde/red hair (naturally)..burn to a CRISP quickly (thankfully it turns tan after it stops killing me)...and I gave birth to two children who can just wake up with the sun shining in their direction and instantly tan.  At least I know I should be easily spotted in the dark when the light shines my direction.

So, with no further adieu...PICTURES!

Dogwood blooms

I'd redo my blog again and use the dogwood blooms...but I do like the rainbow & Bradford pears that I have going on right now.

Or maybe I'll go with the crawdad pic here... can you see him?

Mikaila was determined to catch us some dinner....

I'm not too terribly sure whom she plans on feeding with her catches, but she had a BLAST doing it.  My fearless darling.  This was as close as Mikeal was going to get to it.  Sour face & all.

I don't know where he gets his fear of fish, crawdads, worms, frogs, bugs, dirt, etc from, but I guess he's just not all that into nature type things.

But he's awesome with his little sister.  Always looking out for her, helping her, loving on her....when they're not trying to kill each other.

It's a shame that tomorrow is Monday and they have to go to school or we'd go do it again....

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Fishing

Not quite as easy as one would believe but fishing is fun & everyone should try their hand at it.  I'm thinking of taking the kids out to North Carolina & having my baby brother take us out fishing in the ocean.  I LOVE going fishing, just haven't gone since Mikaila was about 18 months old or so.  I have no clue where to go around here as people are so freaking finicky about their fishing spots.  Losers.

So...what are some of your favorite places to go fishing?

I've never been fishing in the ocean, so I can't comment on that.
I have this thing against boats, so no middle of the lake or deep sea fishing for me either.
I LOVE going trout fishing.  That was my favorite thing to do with my daddy.
Before we left Oklahoma I had a few lake/overflow areas that we'd take the kids to go fishing because you were nearly always guaranteed to at least catch something.  (Usually nasty carp, but still the kids would LOVE it and the carp was awesome for my garden!)
I don't think I know anyone that goes fishing here in Tennessee, so we've not gone.  I've always found it important to find some native person to point out legal fishing areas and war me against actually encroaching on someone's private property...and around here it all seems like private property.  blah.


Do you have any awesome fishing stories?

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Another Vocabulary/Reading Comprehension Lesson

Do me a favor...read the top of the page.  What does the title of this blog say it is?

Does it say: "The Unchallengeable, Perfect, Unquestionable Truth"? Or anything of that particular caliber?

No, it does not.

I've only been a living breathing part of this world for 29 years, 10 months, 29 days (or so)...I'll be 30 on the Eve of Cinco de Mayo, so you do the math...if you don't know what day that is, I'm sorry, you're just shit out of luck.  (I've also started drinking)

ANYWAYS...the point of me explaining my age has to do with the title of my blog.

My blog title states that this is "Perceptions of My Reality".

Vocabulary lesson tidbit according to Dictionary.com

per·cep·tion[per-sep-shuhn]noun

1. the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.

2. immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral, psychological, or aesthetic qualities; insight; intuition; discernment: an artist of rare perception.

3. the result or product of perceiving,  as distinguished from the act of perceiving; percept.

4. Psychology . a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present.

5. Law . the taking into possession of rents, crops, profits, etc.

my [mahy]  pronoun

1. (a form of the possessive case of I  used as an attributive adjective): My soup is cold.

re·al·i·ty [ree-al-i-tee] noun, plural re·al·i·ties for 3, 5–7.

1. the state or quality of being real.

2. resemblance to what is real.

3. a real thing or fact.

4. real things, facts, or events taken as a whole; state of affairs: the reality of the business world; vacationing to escape reality.

5. Philosophy .

    a. something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.

    b. something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.

So...to break it down, by meanings of the individual words my blog title implies:

The act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding, owned by my personage, in the state or quality of being real.

In more feeble minded words:

This is what I see as being real and accurate.

Back to what my biological age has to do with any of this....

In my almost 30 years of life on this planet I have learned that everyone sees their life one way, while someone else sees it another way.  If you were to ask my mother about my life she'll tell you I've always been a goody-two-shoes and it totally shocks her to know that I've been stoned, drunk, in jail, the works, even though she's witnessed each of these things herself.  My best friend, who has been through most of my life with me, will tell you that I'm the most awesome badass she knows.  My Grandma would look at you like you were stupid if you were to so much as say one negative thing about me.  My Grandpa would laugh and take credit for me being like him.  My Granny would beat you senseless without even moving more than a few eyebrow muscles.  My Papa would just shrug his shoulders and say he still loves me anyways.  My Daddy would carry on that he knew all these things about me, even if it's the first time he's ever heard it, and state that I know where he's at if I ever need his help.  My sister would not only take what you have to say, but she'll make it look like I'm the most deplorable person to walk the earth.  My brothers would both be fairly non-chalant about it...the older one of the two describing how he can top it; they would both beat you senseless for  portraying me in a bad light..the older one physically, the younger one mentally.

So my point is we all have a different perception on each of our own realities.  I'm comfortable with most of the details of my life.  That's not saying I'm proud of all of them or that I'm at a place with myself that I'm comfortable sharing all of them, but I'll let you know when such is the case & I'll not share anything I'm not comfortable sharing, especially if I think my feelings on that matter may grossly skew how I portray the details.

As far as my stalker is concerned...I have no ill wishes against her.  I don't hate her.  She's annoyed me & my family beyond belief, but so does pollen.  If she wishes to share her perception of reality she's more than welcome.  Comments are open to anyone.  I just know what I've had to experience while in her sights for the last four years.  I'm sure she's a lovely person so long as you agree with her perceptions, never contradict or challenge her, and do as she expects you to do for her, when she expects you to do it for her & not a minute later.


**Yes, I came back & edited some of the formatting...I do believe I mentioned I'd been drinking while posting.

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